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Voice Of Mars: “No Time To Be Wasting On A Jerk Like That”

September 27th, 2008 @ 7:25 pm by Elsa

Ask the collective

Earlier this month I asked for feedback – Your Opinion Of The Elsa Blog and satori popped up with a request for more of the soldier’s candor. In that vein here’s this:

We were talking about a friend of mine…

“She’s in her 30′s? Well that explains it, ” he said. I realized he thought she was older, maybe in her 40′s, like us. “No wonder she’s wasting time with such a jerk.”

“Yeah? You think it’s immaturity?”

“No, she’s in her 30′s what does she care who she dates? She got her kids. What’s she got to worry about? You get our age and you want someone to share your life but her age?” He shrugged. “Our age you want to find someone good and then keep ‘em. You’ve got no time to be wasting on a jerk…”

Do you waste time on jerks? Why?

Ask the Collective, Astrology, Astrology in Real Life, mars, voices, 11 comments | Posted at 7:25 pm

11 Responses to “Voice Of Mars: “No Time To Be Wasting On A Jerk Like That””

Del

Fellow 40′s here. Hell, no, I don’t waste time on jerks. That’s why I’m still single after being divorced five years ago. Let me give you a rundown on the last four guys who asked me out. If I were just spinning my wheels, having fun, wasting time, they coulda been all mine, baby.

1) 38-year-old night nurse. Nice guy, but a pothead who is still heartbroken that Jerry died and Phish broke up.
2) 44-year-old guy, celebrated author. Told me he had been divorced two years. I looked it up online. More like two weeks. Being the rebound girl does me no favors, and I will not be your “Help Me Rhonda.”
3) 42-year-old musician. Cute and charismatic. Told me I would have to pick him up on our date because he still hasn’t gotten his license back from his 2nd DUI. He had another call beeping in while we were on the phone. It was his ex-wife calling FROM JAIL on a probation violation.
4) Nice 50-someodd-year-old former Army Colonel. The Colonel part was true. What was not true was the age he gave me. He had shaved off at least ten years… I looked that one up online, too, and it would have been true had he graduated from West Point at 12 years old.

I don’t do rejection well, but I’m getting better at it. No matter how you sugar-coat it, you’re still telling them, “I’d rather be alone and celibate than waste my time with you.” Which is, well, true.

9/27/08 @ 7:57 pm (reply)

Del

As far as the astrology goes (and I’m kind of new at this, so bear with me), Saturn is in my 7th right now, and I realize that this is making me extremely discriminating as to my choice of potential partner. The thing is, I keep getting the same lesson over and over, and I think I’ve mastered it, but it keeps coming anyway. Same crap, different packaging. Is there a point at which I will have finally proven to the universe that I won’t settle for addiction, lies, criminal behavior, general dysfunction? I’m all for giving a little slack, because nobody’s perfect, but I don’t think this is a question of slack. They’re just overall inappropriate partners.

9/27/08 @ 8:12 pm (reply)

june

I think I am a jerk so I have no worry in the world. heh!

9/28/08 @ 1:39 am (reply)

Shannon

Nope, no time for it. Life is short, and I wanna LIVE it!

9/28/08 @ 2:20 am (reply)

kashmiri

I did, until my beautiful Gemini friend said to be point blank after I was whining about a really, really annoying guy I was dating:

“uh, you’re allowed to break up with people, you moron.”

Ha ha…totally worked and I (pretty much) snapped out of it.

9/28/08 @ 2:48 am (reply)

kashmiri

oh yeah, and it was the first time I was direct!!!
I took him somewhere and we sat and had a drink and I said very straight: I really like you as a person but I am no longer interested in having a sexual or romantic relationship.
His response was “you don’t know what you want.” I almost blew it. My eyes glazed over like I was a Stepford Wife and I said “Hmm…yeah…” and then I was like, “WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE! Weren’t you LISTENING?!”

Ugh. He moved in with a girl THREE months later! Taurus men!!! I would never date one again. I am one. There’s only room in this relationship for one bull. There really ain’t enough food to share.

9/28/08 @ 2:53 am (reply)

spidermoon

Del, I get a different kind of “blech,” but I do empathize…in my 40′s as well, so I know what you mean, and I had a Saturn transit of my 7th house back in 2005. It was a challenging transit, with the stark realities of “love” a constant. Not too long ago I had a date with a 45 yr old guy and he talked so much about himself for what seemed like forever that I literally ran out of the coffee shop and couldn’t wait to get home to solititude, my dogs, and a Jane Austen show on PBS. Talk about feeling like a stereotypical spinster. LOL. But that incident clearly showed me that I’d rather be alone with my fun stuff than with someone and bored. This wasting time issue is a big one. I agree that right now I’m looking for more than fun in the rack (military metaphor for the soldier), and want companionship with someone who appreciates me. I like hearing about you & the soldier, Elsa, for it gives me inspiration and hope that real love will find me, too!

9/28/08 @ 5:07 am (reply)

wyrdling

not any more.
that was my twenties.

9/28/08 @ 9:28 am (reply)

Daemoness

“There really ain’t enough food to share.”

LOL Kashmiri!

Daemoness,
Sister Taurus

9/28/08 @ 9:49 am (reply)

10.

dolce

wyrdling – I’m with you. Headed towards my 30s and all that time I spent on jerks and other parasites is over. It’s just plain old boring to me now! All it does is keep a person from living their life. Boo.

9/28/08 @ 2:07 pm (reply)

11.