Again With The Facts – You Are What You Are Even If You Are Nine! Libra Bay-Bee!!!!!
Astrology in real life
Yesterday the soldier and I got into a fight… an argument, a whatever. It was very unfortunate because I was sick as a dog and Vidroid was home as well which means he witnessed.
Now don’t go having a conniption fit. The soldier and I are both pretty freakin mature. We don’t fight dirty and we maintain awareness of his presence however we are not perfect and we do LIVE. We do have the capacity to explode in relation to each other as Vid is well aware seeing as he has been told.
So anyway, the soldier and I got into it and feel into our pattern which is to fight in spurts. We will battle and then retreat. Battle and then retreat. Battle and then laugh and then retreat and then battle worse than ever and the whole time Vid was watching. Eventually the soldier could take no more and left the house to go on a walk - I took the opportunity to talk to Vidroid.
I asked him what he thought of the whole situation and he had an excellent grip on it. Seeing as he is a Libra Moon and Rising opposed by Jupiter and Mercury in Aries and seeing as he has been educated around the abilities that aspect bestows he piped right up with opinion and he was able to see both sides of course.
Wanting him to gain from the day I told him the secret like this:
“If you are ever fighting with a woman you love like this and you want to make it stop?” I said. “You just go put your arms around her. Tell her you love her and that it’s going to be all right and I bet you see her calm right down.”
He put that in his pipe to smoke later and then told me he had an idea. “Wait here,” he said. We were in the bedroom. He called me out to the living room a few minutes later and he’d set up two chairs with a stool in front. One chair had my name on it, the other the soldier’s.
“When he gets back, we are going to work this out,” he said.
I just laughed. Damned kid is a mediator what can I say.
A half hour later the soldier came back, next thing you know we’re sitting in these chairs with Vid in command.
31 Responses to “Again With The Facts – You Are What You Are Even If You Are Nine! Libra Bay-Bee!!!!!”
I think you’ve given him more than enough tools to understand that fighting is normal, even healthy, and doesnt negate the ove two people feel for each other. I’m a ton of Aries, I should know.
That is really sweet. I think the important thing is not that kids shouldn’t see you fight, it’s that they should see you be able to work it out afterwards in a loving way. Sounds like Vid has a real handle on that.
Oh my god. Can Vid come over and mediate for me some time? I love that.
And the children shall lead… wow!
It ends here??
Me want more!!
“And the children shall lead… wow!”
Yeah, especially when they are born for it as Vid is. Do you realize how much power he had at his command at that moment?
I definitely do. What happened next??!!
This makes me smile. Vid is so assured!
I have to say though, your advice (just put your arms around her and it’ll calm her down) wouldn’t work with me. If I was mad and someone tried that kind of tactic they’d likely get an elbow in the gut! Especially a man, because I’d think they were being patronizing.
True story. *nodnod*
That is so incredibly sweet! What a GEM Vidroid is:)
And Elsa, I’m soo impressed with your parenting:)) I don’t know what you do, but you do it well:) (LOL, the lyrics to Duffy’s “Mercy” popped into my head;) I always manage to go off-topic…
“I have to say though, your advice (just put your arms around her and it’ll calm her down) wouldn’t work with me.”
That’s a really good point. Agree totally but he witnessed this whole thing and our dynamic… well I will write some of the conversation and perhaps it will be apparent but in my case this really is all that it needed but impossible for the soldier. You fight with him you’ve got yourself a fuckin’ WAR.
It’s just different strokes for different ffolkes, I think. There have been times when all I needed was love and reassurance, but I can’t accept it when I’m actively angry. Once I get going, I bring the holocaust and it just has to burn itself out.
Just like with currency, everyone’s got their own way of fighting ’cause everyone’s got their own Mars. And I guess the flip-side to that is that you need to figure out a different tactic to soothe for each person you know.
I’m interested to see how it worked out! Reconciling a difference like that is difficult.
See, for me it would work if the person saying “I love you” and putting their arm around me was the person I was mad at. That’s right: if I’m pissed at you I’d like it if you did that.
If it was another person I was angry with (ie. random stranger or whoever) and someone tried those words of comfort I’d start to vibrate. I’d freak the hell out. I wonder why this is?
Ha ha, SaD I’ve never heard that expression used for rage before. I like to say “I’m going to go medieval on your ass.”
Well this would have worked in this specific case and what I was trying to do is teach him the woman code. In my language, “Quit being an asshole” can very well mean, “Why don’t you hug me?”
Crazy, I admit but crazily common as well.
We learn on this blog that women don’t always speak MAN, well men don’t always speak WOMAN either.
being told i’m loved and it’s going to be alright would work like a charm for me…it’s when i’m upset that i most want and need the sense of ongoing connection.
our fights are totally different, though, than the ones you describe. we don’t engage then. we distance. and it took me a while to adjust to the idea that if he’s mad, he needs the distance and that helps solve it. ’cause if i’m mad, i’m looking for the reconnection.
hehe…he is quite the mediator! I bet that technique would work on me too, but I’m kind of split as well. I would love it and hate it at the same time. They would have to hug me pretty hard to get me too give up and make nice. But it would work 
We learn on this blog that women don’t always speak MAN, well men don’t always speak WOMAN either.
word up
Well he was playing on the FACT we are both responsible adults – responsible to him. We really had to indulge this kid or tell him to go take a flying fuck which was not likely! Plus we really needed all the help we could get. We both get at out wits end when at the same time there is no end to our wits so it’s pretty unsolvable in a way.
Until it solves itself that is but that can take some time and bleeding between then and now
I’m with you, Elsa. When I read that, I thought – yes! That’s what I wish could have happened. But I can’t say, in the moment, “I don’t even care. I don’t even want to be fighting. Just come over here and hug me.”
… I’ve never heard that expression used for rage before…
Kash, it just seemed appropriate. 
You’ve got Mars-Pluto, too, but opposed, right? That’s the holocaust I was talking about. Once you wake that puppy, things get intense and sometimes scary.
I promise to only use this power for good, though. *innocent look*
We learn on this blog that women don’t always speak MAN, well men don’t always speak WOMAN either.
Abso-tootin’-lutely. Sing it, sister!
I’ve always known the language I speak is closer to “man” than “woman,” but reading through everyone’s responses re: the hugging confirms it even more. I ain’t normal! *lol*
“If you are ever fighting with a woman you love like this and you want to make it stop?” I said. “You just go put your arms around her. Tell her you love her and that it’s going to be all right and I bet you see her calm right down.”
This might work for me sometimes, both on the giving and the recieving end. Does that make sense?
Yes, it does, spinner!
SaD- You’re right, I do have that opposition. I think it gets tempered by Mars being conjunct Venus. At least I hope it does
Hasn’t worked for me, kashmiri, but I’ll admit I haven’t figured it all out. I have Mars-Venus-Pluto all conjunct and also conjunct N. Node and IC. *eyeroll* There’s a lot of threads there I can’t follow or untangle yet.
It makes perfect sense, spinner. I think it means you’re human.
You could say that twice and it’d still be true.
thanks kash. thanks SaDiablo. It has been a great day! I am going to go pack it in as they say, because tomorrow sounds promising too and I need the rest.
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Aw…I like this. On another note, I hope you feel better soon!