Astrology And The Challenge Of Writing About Everyone’s Un-Comfort Zone – Children And The Psycho-Sexual World

writing-multiplesources.jpgWell this is par for the course. I start a story with no idea of what I am going to say and invariably it becomes far more involved and demanding than I intend. Apparently I like these sticky problems, if not I suppose I’d make an outline.  These are writer problems and the challenge suits my Mars Mercury conjunction.

My current problem with the Vid story is this:  There is a (strong) psycho-sexual component to this story so should I include it?  If so the how, when and why?

Libra has to weigh it. Can the story be written leaving this out, yes or no?  Is the good that I know writing it will do worth the price that will have to be paid and just who exactly (besides me) will get the bill?

Awhile back I wrote about cock-blocking and in one of the pieces I mentioned that this phenomenon had sprung up around my daughter. I got confronted on that. A man felt it very disturbing, “cock-blocking” and “my daughter” appear in the same piece. If was as if I were saying I wanted COCKS to have access to my daughter.

Now I didn’t mean it that way but I could see his point. That piece WAS disturbing on that level however that I (or my writing) was the cause of the disturbance is debatable.

Fact is children with emphasis on the relationship signs and houses get into these areas sooner than others.  Seeing as Vidroid is a Taurus with a Libra Moon and rising. Seeing as he has a Scorpio Mars and an 8th house Sun, he certainly qualifies as someone who is going to have these kinds of experiences because simply put, this is the world he lives in like one of you intellectuals may live in the world of math.

It’s like my daughter. She has Pluto rising in Scorpio opposing Venus in Taurus. That there is an undercurrent around her is a given. So anyway, this is my plight. I have written myself into a mess, now lets see me write myself out.

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Astrology And The Challenge Of Writing About Everyone’s Un-Comfort Zone – Children And The Psycho-Sexual World — 19 Comments

  1. Elsa I think you’re doing what you do best. It’s unfolding as it is.

    Yes people are very uncomfortable with the idea of children and the psycho-sexual realm but truth be told children do not just wake up at 18 with a desire to have a spouse!

    My parents always reacted very strongly about things of a sexual nature, yet when my Mum went to therapy saw no problem with leaving very graphic, extremely graphic books regarding sexual abuse in all of its horrific display around for us to read.

    My sister (Pluto conjunct ASC, Sun & Moon in the 8th) and I read everything…I mean everything. How many 11 year olds (outside of those who experience it) know about FGM? Not a lot.

    As this type of question is entirely part of my own legacy, and if you’re asking (my apologies if you’re not), I’d say write about it if you need to, and if it would help yourself and your readers, and if it doesn’t bring any detriment to your children.

    And know that I for one, entirely support whatever decision you choose. You’re brilliant, and so are your kids…if you are starting to feel uncomfortable you can always write it without posting it and assess it at another time.

    I hope I haven’t overstepped any boundaries and I apologize sincerely if I’ve done so!

  2. it amazes me what people see there sometimes that i just don’t. i mean, yeah, you write some disquieting material, no doubt. but that’s not something i would have seen in that piece, like, ever.

  3. You can do it! I think more people should talk about this. If it wasn’t such a taboo to even think that children have sexual awareness (they ARE small humans for God’s sake), maybe more people would grow into adults with something approaching a healthy sexuality.

  4. goddess – I didn’t see it either but I did when he did and it was a big question at the time… am I whacked or is he? Because the way he commented was (felt) slimy but I don’t think the fact it WAS slimy was determinable.

    The point is that this stuff goes on behind the scenes and when you suffer it, you really have to think. And in this case I am writing about Vid’s hardship and some of his hardship had to do with this type stuff.

    Now here is the crappy thing:

    Now that I said something people’s minds will wander in all kinds of erroneous direction.. they will make guesses that are all wrong but believe them right and act accordingly.

    ::shakes head::

    For the record, no one had sex with Vid, mmmmm ‘kay?

    See, if I leave this stuff out, I almost feel I am doing him an injustice. If I am detailing his hardship, then by God don’t ignore 40% of it!!!

    ::sighs::

  5. I can’t imagine you leaving anything out, but I certainly would understand if you did. From my end of things, it would take enormous strength (if that’s the right word for it) to put something deeply personal out there, and then let go and let people assimilate or interpret the info as they will.

  6. Sorry Elsa! I wasn’t actually thinking about about Vid in that way…I went off on my own tangent thinking about the psycho-sexual development of kids. Sorry to project…that’s not fair of me at all. I am listening.

    I could’ve put my thoughts more succinctly and just barfed on your blog instead. :(

    Take care! If my comment derails the following discussion feel free to delete it and I won’t mind or be offended in the slightest.

  7. I like what kashmiri had to say about it. it really sucks that there’s such a taboo about talking about sexuality in relation to children, even something as benign as the beginning of sexual feeling and masturbation, that the children themselves are left without information.

    I came from a pretty liberal family and as a child I had great shame about my budding sexuality. I thought there was something wrong with me, that I might be a pervert or something. so I like to see these subjects get honest treatment.

    on the other hand, since there is such taboo, I wouldn’t want your or VId to be subjected to any negative outcomes associated with it either.

  8. Well it’s a hell of a problem. How can a Saturn in the 8th have their first Saturn square Saturn transit and not have psychology come into it?

    The kid was living with his sister who was dying. He was enduring (and managing)severe problems on a variety of fronts yet half of them are not supposed to exist because they make people uncomfortable.

    Ah well, I think I’ll let it drop. Turns out my kid is my kid and stuck the same way I get stuck… give us your rocks face up… sure as hell don’t want to turn those puppies over.

    It’s too bad because most of the astrology I know can’t even be said outside my inner circle. Jeez, I hope I get out of the dark next life but somehow I doubt it. I bet you anything the keen get even keener, the sharp even sharper.

    *(&*%$#%!!!!!!!!

  9. “Well this is par for the course. I start a story with no idea of what I am going to say and invariably it becomes far more involved and demanding than I intend.” Geesh. Tell me about it. Happens almost ever time I start to write anything…even a grocery list.

    Apart from that. If you leave out the psycho-sexual component, or the more you skirt around it (which is not your style) or are vague about it, the more people will project their own stuff on it…which they of course will anyway as in the cock-blocking piece. Mmm. This isn’t helpful is it? ;-)

  10. I don’t know, Elsa. That cock-blocking post had a context. You were telling a story. I didn’t find it disturbing. I think the ones you disturb are already pretty disturbed, so I just wouldn’t worry about them – or try to protect them.

  11. P.S. in that article someone posted in the comments on your recent post about resolution and trauma, the psychologist Miriam Greenspan talks about the dark side and how we (Americans) are used to hiding it.

    (I hope I’m not getting too off-topic with this, but it seems to apply.)

    From Sun Magazine:

    “We have lost our connection to the dark side of the sacred. We prize status, power, consumerism, and distraction, and there is no room for darkness in any of that. Americans tend to have a naiveté about life, always expecting it to be rosy. When something painful happens, we feel that we are no good, that we have failed at achieving a good life. We have no myths to guide us through the painful and perilous journeys of the dark emotions, and yet we all suffer these journeys at some point. We have high rates of depression, anxiety, and addiction in this country, but we have no sense of the sacred possibilities of our so-called illnesses. We have no god or goddess like Kali to guide us. Instead we have a medical culture. Suffering is considered pathology, and the answer to suffering is pharmacology.” — Miriam Greenspan

  12. Okay, I’m hung up on the statement that most of the astrology you know can’t even be said outside your inner circle. You talk about so much. . .

    Yeah, “give us your rocks face up” might apply here. Some people are not ready to read about that. Requires very careful writing.

    I, however, think it is awesome to be a parent who discusses these topics and encourages growth in this way.

  13. “requires very careful writing” I definitely think so. But one thing about Elsa’s advice columns…she’s very skilled in talking about the underlying topic without exposing the machinery of the underlying topic. Elsa, maybe you could apply this to writing about the underside of the rocks? There’s that projection issue that Doreen mentioned…. but I guess that’s always there.

    Anyway, I s’pose I’m not literal enough (at ALL) but to me there is a HUGE chasm between “kids having sex” and “kids having psycho-sexual awareness and/or experiences.” Do people really not get this? : shakes head :

  14. Double Cappy,

    Thanks for that Greenspan quote. I think it’s great. In some ways, I think this question is realted to other of your posts, Elsa, about teh soldier and killing and death and people not wantoing to hear about it — or just choosing not to believe it when they DO hear it.

    “Truth, like virtue, contains within it its own most inconestable justification. Speaking it and airing it make its brilliance and splendor shien forth.” — Mariano Moreno

  15. I am always amazed at the idea that there are still people in this day and age who don’t realize that teen and preteens already are putting out relationship vibes…and that sex is part of that equation, even before they know the details of what sex is.

    Follow your heart, Elsa. Tell it if you think telling it is the right thing to do; don’t tell it if you fear problems for Vid or yourself because of it. You have a great heart, a great instinct, and what you put out helps more people than you can begin to comprehend.

    Peace.

  16. well, we used to marry off in the early teens. the way mortality used to work, it was rather important.

    so many of the things we believe about ourselves as a culture are wholly unnatural.

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