Astrology And The Rules Of Engagement aka Growing Up With Saturn On Your Mars…

Today is the anniversary of the soldier’s father’s death, so pulling this up to commemorate…

“The woman is always right,” he soldier said. “This is what I was taught. My father taught me and my brother that you never hurt a woman. No matter what she does you can’t do anything back and this is just the way it was. And my sisters took full advantage, believe me. They did all kinds of stuff to my brother and I, but we could never do anything back to them.”

“I see”

“Yeah and if we complained, he just started singing,” he said with a grin.

“Singing what?”

“Oh he’d sing that song, “Downtown”.

“Petula Clark?” I snorted.

“Yeah. Downtown!” he sung. “Things’ll be brighter there! Downtown…”

“Yeah, I know it. Forget all your troubles… oh my God, that’s hysterical. You couldn’t be any funnier, shut your kid right up!”

What were you taught about the genders?


Comments

Astrology And The Rules Of Engagement aka Growing Up With Saturn On Your Mars… — 19 Comments

  1. Nice song…had forgotten it.
    Singing helps feeling better. People transmit you the energy you need sometimes in order to feel better and this is possible through songs.

  2. What my parents taught me about the genders is so abysmal in nature, I won’t share it. Let’s just say that I’m thankful I ignored most of it or I’d be a bitter person who existed in a bubble with no one close to me. And reflecting on this makes me grateful I have good friends of both genders.

  3. The things I was taught about genders were the wordless lessons…
    Boys can do what they want because “boys will be boys” covers ever sin.
    Girls can’t do anything unless they are told to.

    Boys will always come out on top and get their way.
    Girls have to ask for everything and get little.

    Boys can do whatever they want because well they are boys.
    Girls are always at fault. If a girl is raped it is her fault. If a girl get pregnant from being forced it is her fault….AND it is her responsibility to take care of the boys and make sure that they don’t get into trouble for their actions.
    ……

  4. Kind of like Maheggo said – “boys will be boys”, but heaven help a girl with a brain of her own.

    Of course, given my own early childhood and the divorce rate being ridiculously high in my family tree, I got a solid dose of boys are bad, and men always leave.

    Fooled them all by getting married for a reason other than starry eyed love, (no, not pregnancy!) and staying that way. Seventeen years and counting. So far. LOL

    I have not managed to get past the early basic lesson that girls/women are tougher than men, though. The idea that women are the weaker sex is such a myth. Now that I am a wife/mother, I know it even more than I did when I was a kid.

  5. i was taught i could do whatever i felt like, as long as it was a stab in the eye of established patriarchy.
    which is to say my mother is still rebelling against her father’s blatant chauvinism etc and expected me to do the same. not in so many words, but she wanted me to continue just the way she was. she stills tries, too.
    some ways i have, some ways i haven’t.
    (dad just wants me to be happy, as he understands it.)

    taught me to fear relating to weak men. felt betrayed by my father because he didn’t stand up to my mother very often. he called it picking his battles. maybe he’s right. either way, she crushed much of him, and i’m subconsciously afraid i’d do the same.
    guess that’s why i keep looking for someone with a strong pluto. to balance me. i just don’t find that many who use it… respectfully.

  6. I must have learnt the opposite whatever that is…because I have Venus-Saturn. But I like what the soldier learnt, if every man thought that way the world would be a better place. ;)

  7. I never learned anything explicitly about this, but the implicit message I got from my father was that women are trouble and are useless. I beleive this has something to do with my grandmother, I never really knew her story well, she’s supposed to have been alcoholic. she’s a leo with sun super conjunct neptune. I’ve only known her to be a “church rat”. =P but that’s definatly what he beleives about women deep down. hence my venus-saturn.
    no mars-saturn thank god.
    The soldier’s lesson is pretty nice. funny story too :)

  8. I’ve always been told that women in my family are strong- frighteningly competent, career women who work too hard…

    but we love men. I mean seriously. we love men. and I don’t know if I make any guys insecure, but …
    I think what really happens is that we give them backbone when we love them, and if we don’t… well they are screwed, that’s all.

  9. Thanks Ana, that’s right.
    Has anyone else noticed how easily neptune is channeled either into religion or alcohol? I think this is why AA is so effective, they have a strong religious fundament.
    my grandmother would live in church if she could walk there on her own. her sun is in the exact degree of neptune.

  10. Maheggo, that’s what I got too. Boys are a privilege for their parents to have, girls are a burden and lucky to have parents at all. Now, I’ve ‘made up for being a girl’ by achieving and making it in the world more than any son my parents could have had. I love being a woman. And they’re lucky to have me. I’ve got both venus-saturn and mars-saturn.

  11. Yep! From my paternal grandmother, (mother of an only child, one son, [“dad”] …where I spent most of my teenage years, everytime I brought a boyfriend in the house she was like:

    “LS, get up and fix that poor man something to eat! Make him some iced tea. Bring him something! Get that man some sweet tea! Bring him a pillow so he will be more comfortable. Get up and fetch him the remote control. Bathe his feet…” (OK the last one is a slight exaggeration)

    and then constant pressure to get married and then:

    “Your husband is [fill in the blank] A God, Perfect, A Knight in Shining armor, Your Lord and Ruler…etc. etc.”

    There was that one time she went after a real loser with her broom, however, which kinds makes up for all her sexism.

    There is nothing that makes up for all of her absurd racism, a repulsive southern hick trait that my father embraced with his entire being as well…that was so fuckin weird to grow up in the middle of all that southern hick racism, but I digress…..

  12. What about a parent’s Saturn on your Mars? My dad’s Saturn is in exact conjunction with my Mars (less than four minutes apart) and our relationship was explosive, to say the least. I fought him at every step, and still do sometimes. Thankfully, the conjunction’s in Gemini, so we usually revert to battles of wits, but still…I feel like my Mars was sharpened, so to speak, by dad’s mere existence ;-)

    That said, he did always encourage me to be physically confident and active. He’s conservative, yes, and believes I should be properly married (snort) but he was always proud of the fact that I could do many things a boy could do, yet still “clean up nicely.”

  13. I was taught that men are better off when they have women in their lives. I was taught equality. I was taught to look beyond the superficial. I am not sure if I was taught this, but all of my life I have held women in awe.

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