DR – I have a theory about our arguing that was given to me by cf perez… will write it out when I have the chance but we primarily argue across the aries / libra axis. For example, this time I was yelling about manners… his bad manners and with Mars involved, his “fuckin’ bad manners!!!!”

We argue about his self-centeredness (Aries) which is a fight he has always had in relationship… you get the idea.

OMG! My husband and I YELLED at each other all the way to the Mall this past Sunday! I got to the point where I could articulate nothing but obscenities….. I felt like Cartman on the ‘SouthPark’ episode where he pretended to have Tourets syndrome. Motherfu**in, C**ksu**ing, bi*chface, bast**dheaded, a**licking,bu**fu**ing….and on and on the filth flew from my mouth! It was hysterical! And it was ALL about his Aries Moon (“well I don’t and I do and I am and I won’t”!!!) and Cancer Sun/Merc bringin’ momma, daddy, his childhood and nationalism into the conversation for the nth time! Let it go man! Just let it GOOOOOO!

I knew I had blown a gasket when he said, “you look crazy when you yell like that”…..
I’m sure everyone southbound to Detroit got a free show. But, just like always I dissolve into tears and then eventually slump over into full bore sobbing. What a day to remember! *sighing*

What the hell did the sky look like that day anyway, Elsa?

Kingsley – it is just what constellates between us but oddly enough it has never done us in. And neither of us act like this with other people. We just set each other off about every 3 to 4 weeks and it’s putting a match to gas. He equates it to juggling live wires and generally no problem but when one of them hit the ground it fries anything and everything nearby.

When it passes there is no lingering anything. Neither of us hold a grudge of any sort, neither of us seethe or anything we are pretty much just baffled as to why we fought in the first place. Others though, as I have mentioned are scared out of their minds.

I am not sure how well I am explaining this. It seems to defy all reason. I just get pissed… generally after being too Libra and I blow. If he blows back I blow harder and then we both blow, blow, and blow and then start cracking jokes at some point. We try to not be cruel… successfully I would say. I mean, we don’t fight dirty it is just LOUD and I mean it is ear shattering.

What is crazy is how well we get along allllllllll the time on all fronts up until one of these episodes. I am talking COMPATIBILITY. So all the more strange when all the sudden we’re at each other’s throats.

People connect in different ways Elsa. I posted just before but maybe my added url made it go into spam?

Its all about connecting with feelings, intimacy, sensing the other is right there with you. Consolidating the attachment. Its ok to do that via anger or heated discussions as long as no one gets hurt. And it kind of feels good afterwards because both people no longer feel “disconnectec”.

Sometimes we may learn these attachment process’ from our role models; they do seem to work and be functional within relationships. Limits and agreements about how far each other goes becomes important. The separational effect from too much argument can take longer to bounce back.

kingsley

kingsley for some reason this does us no harm once it’s done. In the moment we will both be yelling back and forth and I can detach enough to know it’s insane. It will be something that sends me around the bend that did not send me around the bend a week prior. I really think I am classic case of a nice Libra – when it blows you better look out. I try very hard to learn to better assert myself but can’t decide if I should be more like him or he should be more like me. After all, it is HIS north node in Libra and it follows he should be the one trying to see another person’s view of things.

It has also occurred to me that my Mars Mercury conjunct his n Node is a perfect set up because when I do go off I sound just like a drill sergeant and of course he can hear this. Would he hear anything at all if it were not yelled at the top of my lungs? If I asked sweetly? He does not hear it when I yell (prior to 4 hours passing) so I tend to doubt it. It is not like he shuts me out. He actually tries to understand what I am saying but my perspective is so completely opposed his own it’s very difficult… as shown by the Saturn aspects.

Yeah, Kingsley I think it’s good but we are still going to try to get on top this because of kids! They have been warned but as I wrote in another comment, it’s like telling someone what war is going to be like. YOu can tell them but it’s not the same as when the bullets are actually being fired at your head. In a truck cross country, no harm no foul but believe me my kids have never ever seen me go off the way we do when this occurs so….

Ana – I get hoarse and then yell some more about getting hoarse.

And yeah. No hard feelings. Hell no, it’s just like when we were kids. Jealous, we clear the dance floor. I get 86′ed from the bar, he follows me outside and I swing the helmet at his head.

He ducks as bouncers step in to save him from me… come up behind me and seeing them coming (as I continue to swing the helmet) he yells over my shoulder they should stay away from me, I can swing the helmet at him all I want.

Less than 2 minutes later we climb on the bike together and go to breakfast, same old us… laughing, telling jokes no problems at all.

The next morning I feel embarrassed but he tells me it was no big thing… we had a lot of fun and in fact we did. We just had the incident there… the brief incident that shocked others but was literally nothing to us once it passed.

I used to have a girlfriend who would slap me and call me a bastard when climaxing during sex. Feelings and actions are complex sometimes; relationships are complex. Its best to investigate these slowly and grow together in the relationship. I love the way this blog investigates and prompts some thinking around relationships. A credit to your openness and willingness to raise topics Elsa.

kingsley

“I am not even sure we didn’t agree about what we were fighting about”..ha ha i recognise that one. I see it as compatibility of sorts. Both me and partner can be argumentative (aries/libra, taurus/scorpio) but i’ve tended to avoid r’ships like that in the past believing they were unhealthy. Now i’m in one, i’m surprised how close it’s brought us and how good it can feel to release the build of tension. We never dwell on it though and are super loving when we make up. We have tickling fights too which is also good for getting it out.