“And in the beginning I was signing all this stuff,” I explained to the soldier. “This gal gave it to me and of course I had seen it before. You have to initial all this stuff so I just grabbed it and started signing away. She didn’t like that. Ma’am, you shouldn’t do that. She’s an attorney, you know. You really ought to know what you’re signing. I told her I did know what I was signing, I was well aware.”

“What did she say?” he asked.

“Didn’t believe me, I don’t think. I just started initialing the shit… just going down the list signing. I really do know what this is, I said. I tried to reassure her. I told her I’d already done this… done this, been kicked out and now I’m doing it again. I have seen this stuff before, I said.”

“Was she reassured?”

“I don’t think so. I’m just an idiot signing my life away, what can she do? Let me be a fool, I guess. Not that she didn’t do anything wrong. It’s her job to make sure I know what I am signing; at least I think that’s what her job is. She is supposed to make sure I know how treacherous my life is, which of course I am well aware. Need no help with that, I have been involved with things ridiculous all my life so I just kept on signing, putting my initials one after another down the list until eventually she stood back and let me.”

“Yeah, P?”

“Yeah. And she sort of leaned back, like don’t let me get in your way.” I stopped to laugh. “I mean I’m sorry I don’t stop to make this look good or look normal, but fact is I’d had a hell of a day so just give me the papers, let me sign them – I know what this is and I have had enough. I have had ten times enough.”

“Yeah.”

“Yep, so I don’t know what her job is exactly. I think she must be against me but I can’t see that it matters in these circumstances, can you?”

“No, doesn’t matter.”

“Right. So then they called me and I just went off up there. I copped to everything and then started talking to the judge. He wanted to know what I knew so I told him. I answered all his questions while we all just stood there and he said he was going to watch this TV program I mentioned. He said he was going to watch it that night and in fact he had the court clerk look it up right there in the courtroom. I guess she can get online or something right there because that’s what she did. She looked it up for him while we all waited.”

“Yeah?”

“Yep she found and bookmarked the thing for the judge, I guess. I had told him he could watch it online and I don’t know what that other gal was thinking. Maybe that woman does know what she is signing?” I laughed slightly. “Yeah, I know what I am signing. I know. Anyway, never mind her. I don’t have to go back until May, thank God. That’s a pretty good break. May?”

“Yeah, that’s a break. Sounds good, P. Sounds good.”

“Yeah, I think we’re all relieved. So now we’ll be back in there in May for some more tragedy which they obviously think is comedy… which makes me think it’s comedy that they can laugh at such tragedy.”

“You got that right.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. Unfortunately, yes. Damn. How do you think I wound up in this life anyway?”