Many years ago when I was a teenage bartender I has a customer, this old lady, Rita who I called “Lovely Rita” because she was so incredibly aggressive… and funny.

Aries obviously, she was old but spry and told a story of standing atop a bed in Vegas to swing a suitcase at her famous body-building husband in their hotel room. Apparently she’s had enough of him.

She also attacked some college girl with “Bo Derek hair” who had cut her off in traffic and followed this up by flipping her the bird. Think Rita was having any of that?

She described a scene akin to Kathy Bates in “Fried Green Tomatoes” when she rammed the car in the grocery store parking lot. These women are old and they’re not taking any shit from rude little arrogant children. Rita stopped her car, blocking this gal’s path, got out and grabbed her by the braids through her open window. She pulled her head down so her face against the edge of the car door and told her she ought to respect her elders.

Anyway, I thought of her this morning because she had this erratic energy about her. She was very eccentric which reminds me of the sky out there today. She used to come in the bar all flustered and breezy, dramatically take the scarf from her head ala Auntie Mame and say, “Give me a nervous and jerky beer, would you, Elsa?”

I would.

And one more tip from Lovely Rita. When things happened she’d shrug and say, “What can you do? That’s the way the monkeys comb their hair!”

I am going to think about Rita today and you can too. I figure we can all use the distraction.