A couple days ago my friend, satori who is a Pisces told me that she connected me to the mundane world. “I connect you to the mundane and everyone else who is mundane, I connect to the other,” she said, and I laughed. I think it’s pretty funny when you have to get a Pisces to ground you; however she is not the first.

My sister is the first Pisces who attempted to connect me with the mundane. I say attempted because I am pretty sure she would tell you she failed and I was thinking about this today. I recalled something I wrote awhile back and meant to pull it up and post it but this came out instead…

My sister loves high level shopping (think Posh Spice) but she is stuck with a sister who could care less. Back when, it was big talk in her circles. No one could believe she had a sister who oblivious to clothing and makeup.

At one point, when I was about 30 she grilled me wanting to know if I was a lesbian. Apparently this was a theory amongst her and her friends. It was the best explanation they could come up I guess. I am not a clotheshorse, therefore I am a lesbian!

“A lesbian? Are you out of your mind?” I asked. “I think you are. Here I am screwing men every chance I get… with the greatest frequency I can muster and you want to know if I’m a lesbian? What the hell is the matter with you? How could that beeeee?” I asked.

“Well I didn’t think you were but I was hoping. It would explain a lot plus we could use someone gay in this family. We have everything else,” she said, blowing cigarette smoke. “I have always wondered why there is no gay person in our family.”

“You think this is a shortcoming?”

“Yes I do.”

“Well then you go be gay and help us out,” I said with a snort.

“Well no, I’m not gay either. So if you’re not gay… if no one is gay in this family, I guess we’ll just have to go without. We will have to be a family with no gay person in it which is hard to believe. We have enough people, it seems to me at least one of us could be gay.”

“Well don’t look to me to fill the gap! For Godsakes I can’t believe you thought I was a lesbian. How could you think something so stupid? What happened to your mind?”

“I didn’t think you were a lesbian. I hoped you were a lesbian,” she said with the family snort.

“Okay well know I feel bad about letting you down but I am going to continue to run with men, I promise you that. Matter of fact I’d be getting laid right now if I could. Much better than hanging out with you guys,” I said. “You guys who concern yourself with eye shadow, and… and the various things that are in style.”

“Listen to her,” she said to her husband. “Should we should call someone and tell them she’s loose? Okay, Elsa, okay. You’re a heterosexual exactly as I feared.”

This is what it’s like when you’re raised by Aquarians…