Elsa you are a wonderful ‘agony aunt’! LOVE THIS ADVICE!!!

Ehh! Nothing gets my panties in a bunch more than this subject! I have tried and tried and tried to look at this situation from every angle possible and I STILL don’t get it. This ordeal has affected my family for generations. My grandpa for example, he committed suicide over an affair he had for many years and counldn’t handle the pain he caused everybody when it all came out. (The other woman was a “friend” of the family). I know it’s common among every family, I think it’s pointless and only causes pain. I know people have issues and insecurities but does that give anyone the right to hurt other people (like the wife, the kids, etc.)? Why do these “other” women always give off the impression of entitlement? At least that’s how I percieve it. You know, the famous “He’s not happy with his wife” excuse….and the “if she was doing her job right…” excuse. If the wife is so horrible why is he still with her? If YOU were so wonderful, you’d find a man of your own. I don’t know, I hate to be judgemental, but this is pretty much the only situation I give myself permission to be judgemental about. It has had a direct affect on me and my family so I feel like I have the right this time.

I wanted to add that Venus-Pluto is a signature in my immediate family. Hubby has it (square), I have it (conjunction in Virgo), two of my kids have it (conjunction in Sag), and one kid will have it by progression (also Sag). My stepson also has it (Venus-Mars-Jupiter conjunct square Pluto).

I know when my Venus-Pluto kids are trying to sweet talk me, and it may work with other people, but never with me!

well, I read it very carefully, and I just read it again. I don’t see where you had anything to say about any feelings but your own. you sure do have a lot of nasty judgement for the commentors here, though. funny how projection works. maybe you should thank them for being your shadow that you can safely flame without getting any on you.

Well, there’s a wounded Leo for you. Can’t tell the Queen that she’s wrong.

(Speaking as a fellow Leo and Queen, of course. )

You know, as a fellow Leo this one sentence caught my eye: “[He] Wouldn’t let me off the phone…”
Wouldn’t let you off the phone? Wouldn’t LET you off the phone??!?! You’re a Leo with Scorpio Mars and there’s the disconnect button! That sentence reeks of “I want to be playfully manipulated so I have plausible deniability.”

*grumble* Let off the phone… sheesh.

I feel very much for both the “other women and the wife. I was recently burned badly when my lover of 1 year (we were both married) took off on me with his wife after making me believe for 5 months that he was saving up for a divorce even though he was still coexisting under the same roof with her. I had a feeling all along that he may not be telling me the whole truth but because I was so crazy about him, I guess I was in denial. Meanwhile, I am in the early stages of divorce proceedings while he apparently left the state with his wife of barely one year to an unknown location and I am still kicking myself for not telling his wife when I had so many chances to do so. My marriage of 20 years falls apart and his remains fine, my spouse found out and his never did. I know that a lot of people feel why hurt the innocent spouse well my innocent spouse was hurt as well as myself. I need advice on how to handle this and I am sure there are plenty of you out there that can relate. This man and I were supposed “friends” for 2 years before we became more, then he instigated and we starting having an affair less then three months after he marries his wife who happens to be 10 years older then him. I am not sure exactly where they went to but I do know that even though he kept telling me the last 5 months before he left (telling me a total lie on where he was really going), he still always got anxious when i ever mentioned something about being out in the open about everything with him saying every time that he didn’t want to give her any more ammo. I have several pieces of evidence including saved voice mail messages that I have put on a separate tape from him as recent as mid December some are friend like and some are more then friend like that I am ready to send to his last address (as of the end of Dec 2008) and hope it will be forwarded to where ever they are at now but the only reason I have not done that yet is because I didn’t want to run the risk of ruining any possibility of keeping any positive relationship with him. But it’s been over 6 weeks since we were together and the more time that goes by, I feel I am starting to realize now that thats probably not going to happen and as hard as it is for me to admit, i was probably just a piece of a__ to him. Any suggestions or advice out there on how I should handle this situation would be appreciated. Thanks