The soldier and I had a grand experience at the barber in Kansas City. (I Need A Haircut) Fared much worse in Albuquerque where a girl cut his hair, God forbid.

“Yeah, I tried to help you. I said that looks good but she just kept cutting. She cut your hair for another 30 minutes, I am sorry to say. She should have taken the hint.”

“Yeah and I had to listen to her too. She talked non-stop. What was she doing in barbershop anyway? She doesn’t belong there. She’d just graduated beauty school 3 days before.”

I looked at his hair. “She should go back.” (swearing after the break)

“Just my luck.”

“Oh well. You look good but your hair looks bad. But at least you’re a nice person,” I said with a grin.

“Yeah, nice. I wish I could have shut her up. I had to listen to her tell me all about how her husband left her.”

“Oh God. See, that’s why I went outside. She was boring me and I was way back. That woman could bore a person from afar. I didn’t even want to be in the same building with her.”

“Well either did I. She talked non-stop. She went on and on about her husband and all the shit he did. Like I want to hear that! See, P, men don’t do that. They don’t talk to other men like that. If their wife leaves they say, well – I finally got rid of the old lady.”

I snorted.

“Yeah. That’s what they say and that’s all they say. And everyone knows the guy got his ass left. Everyone knows he’s probably sitting at home every night wondering what he’s going to do and where he went wrong. Drinking a beer, wondering who she with. You know. Who did he get left for? Where did she go and who did she go with but he’s not going to say anything about it. He’s not going to tell you this and expect you to listen to him and hold his hand.”

“He’s not?”

“Hell no. He’ll say he’s finally rid of her and he was sick of her anyway so he’s damned glad she’s gone. That’s what he’s going to say and the rest of them men will help him out by pretending they believe him. They believe he’s glad his old lady is gone like anyone would believe that. But we’ll all say, yeah, yeah. Good for you. Good you finally got rid of her even though we all know he’s a sad and sorry bastard who just got his heart broken and probably can’t sleep at night.”
“Well I guess that gal doesn’t belong in barber shop then.”

“No, hell no. I hope a woman never cuts my hair again as long as I live. She told me she was going to marry rich now.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Not kidding. Her husband left her but its going to be okay because she said she is sure some rich guy is going to come along and marry her.”

“Oh brother, let’s not go back there ever again.”

“Nope.”