The soldier on the phone last night…

“Yeah, I gotta get you to the desert and find you a women-only gym,” the soldier said. “Since you don’t want to work out at home the way I think you should.”

“I’m not going to a women-only gym. There’s no way!”

“Yeah, I’m going to find a woman-only gym with a crosstrainer that you like. If they don’t have a crosstrainer, then I’ll bring ‘em one. I’ll say, here. Put this in here for, P so she can get on it.”

I laughed. “No women-only gym. No!”

“And when you go in there and see no men, I’ll tell them to tell you, oh. Yeah, men come here. They just come in a little later.”

“Oh brother.”

“And the women-only sign in the window? I’ll tell them, you take that sign down when you see P coming.”

“You’re a dumbass. First time you go for a ride on that burro of yours, I’ll be out the door so fast. And I’ll go straight to my gym with men like I always do and you’ll have to just survive, I guess. No women-only gym. That will never happen so just save your breath. Save it or use it for better purposes than this.”

Just a sigh on his end.