Astrology in real life
“Well, we’re combining I guess you’d say.” I was talking to a friend about the soldier. “I can’t tell you how excruciating it is. It’s very painful but I don’t think we can stop.”
She was quiet.
“You have to face every little thing. Everything that’s there, whatever you come across that is not common has to be revealed and seen so it can become common. It has to be accepted and become integrated.”
She was quiet so I stopped to think how I might better explain what I was talking about.
“Well, take me and you and say we were going to do this. If you and I were going to merge, every single thing about you… every fear you have and every edge and every wrong thing there is about you or just the things you think are wrong with you would have to be completely known by me. Imagine that. And vice versa of course. So someone knows everything in you… all of it. There is no separation.”
“That’s something else.”
“Yeah, I don’t think very many people could do this. I also don’t think very many would want to. Who would want to do this?”
“Yeah, I don’t think so either. I don’t know that I would want to do it except for it’s happening and we don’t seem to have a choice. This is going on and I am telling you it’s excruciating. Just to integrate the tiniest bit is terribly painful. And shocking. Like uh oh. Now your foot is melded to someone else’s. What the hell? I have never wanted to be the Borg. And we did not make a conscious decision to do this. We have not aspired to this or anything, it’s just happening anyway, slowly. “We spent all these years, really. This started in 2003 when you look back at it. We couldn’t handle it then. Or maybe we were supposed to do this when we were kids but couldn’t manage so we bolted.”
“Yeah, I think that’s right.”
“Yeah, I guess had we stayed together, this is where we were headed. It’s Saturn cycle. But anyway, you know how there are all kinds of things you keep it to yourself? You just don’t talk about them because it’s much easier not to but we don’t seem to have this option. We don’t stop short and all I can tell you is when you don’t stop short, there is a lot of pain involved. And I can see why it’s so slow, it’s because it’s so hard. We spent all these months just so he could get this one conversation this guy had with me in his head and we both wind up hurt so you can see why people don’t do this.”
“He calls it Catholic… a Catholic marriage. That is his paradigm and it’s not foreign to me. My version is called Neptune and its right there in my chart. My chart says I would have an interest in this but there are other things there too and I don’t know what to say. This is like knitting two people together. Do that and they will not come apart ever and that’s fine unless you happen to be one of them. If you are one of them it jolting and it’s painful. It’s a relief too, I guess. I mean, I know it’s right, I just never imagined myself involved in something like this in a million years. I didn’t think something like this was possible or even desirable and actually, I didn’t involve myself come to think of it. The whole thing is just happening on its own which only adds to the horror,” I said with a snort. “Control? You find out it doesn’t exist. Not in this situation, not for us. You’re going into that other person and it doesn’t matter what you think, you’re going.”
For the record, I think this is a reflection of Saturn’s transit through my 8th house… and Pluto transit through the 12th. Try to stop those transits. ::rolls eyes::
Would you have even remote interest in merging (souls?) with another person? Where is Neptune in your chart?
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