Dear 12th House,

I can’t tell you what will happen in the future because people have free will, but I can tell you your situation makes me uncomfortable for a long list of reasons. I’ll lay them out with this caveat: I am not you. So we don’t have to worry about my comfort with your relationship; however, you’re asking for an outside perspective so I am going to oblige.

First, just in general, I subscribe to the “If you have to ask…” idea when it comes to relationships. If you have to ask if the relationship is good for you, it is almost guaranteed it is not. But beyond that, I want to point out a few things.

Your whole mail is about him. You are waiting to have feelings based on what he feels or he does. For example, how do you feel about being called a ‘good friend” when you are in fact a lover? How do you feel about dating and sleeping with someone who’s told you he cannot marry due his customs? How do you really feel about the fact he lies around and watches TV a lot?

You have a 12th house Sun, and planets in Virgo and I feel you are in sacrificing yourself to this man. You are in service to him, which is fine as long as you are aware of it. You also have a Cancer Moon and I suspect you are doing a fair amount of mothering.

So what do you think? Does this sound like the life you want? Because people don’t change their natures all that much. Matter of fact, they tend to become even more the way they are which means this guy is going to be on that couch for a very long time.

Good luck.

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