Dear Elsa,

I have a very big problem with my best girlfriend of over a decade. To be blunt, the problem is her meanness. She is a person who, on a regular basis, says extremely nasty and hurtful things to me and the rest of our mutual friends.

I don’t mean to make her sound so atrocious, but I can’t seem to help it. My husband and most of my friends do not like her at all, since she has something nasty to say about everyone and everything. Now I know it may be hard to believe, but I still love her. we have A LOT of history, and she hasn’t always been a bad friend.

I am afraid of many things if I decide to cut her out of my life. I’m afraid of losing a part of my teenage years that I hold very special, I’m afraid of losing her rare moments of understanding, I’m afraid of losing my best friend. Unfortunately, the fact is, in many ways, I have already lost her. I can’t tell her my secrets; she blabs. I can’t share my triumphs; she accuses me of conceit. I can’t share my difficulties; she’s rarely supportive.

I’m a Cancer – a water and moon baby – and if you haven’t already guessed, I’m a very sensitive, compassionate, “love, light, and fairy dust” kind of girl. I consider my friends to be my family. Cutting her from my life would be sad, painful and difficult – and I don’t usually just give up on those that I love.

I’m torn. What should I do?

Torn