This the soldier on the phone regarding the phenomena.

Two weeks ago

I’ve turned into a wet dog now,” he said. “I just can’t shake the love off and I think of you non-stop. You know how a dog shakes when it gets wet? Well that’s what I’m doing but it does me no good. It’s hopeless, P. I used to be a Green Beret and now I’m nothing but a lovesick wet, soaked dog.”

“That botherin’ you?” I asked. (swearing after the break)

“Hell yes, it bothers me. You know I don’t like to not be in control of myself. It bothers the living shit out of me.”

“Well I’m sorry, man. Cripes. Maybe you should lie in the sun. Dry yourself out.”

“That won’t do any good. Don’t think I’ve not tried! Nothing helps. There’s just not a thing I can do, I’m ruined.”

Last night

“Well I just don’t know what to do when I see you. I’m so excited it’s like a kid in a candy store. What do I want to do with P, first? I’m so damn excited I can understand how those dogs get so happy they piss themselves when they see you.”

I roared. “Oh no!”

“Oh yes. I see you and I feel just like that. And I never know what I should do. Should I eat? Or should I eat? I am completely beside myself like that. I act like a dog messed up, chasing its tail.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen that. It’s funny.”

“Yes, I’m a mess and you get like this a little yourself.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You know how sometimes they’ll be two dogs who like each other? They get along fine but for some reason, when you first put them together they start yipping and take nips at each other?”

“Yeah, I’ve seen those dogs.”

“Yeah, and they do that for a little while then they go off together and play just fine and that’s what we do, have you noticed? Whenever we’re about to get together we start getting all nervous and start snipping at each other. In some cases, we even start yelling. I’m going to turn the fuck around you say. Then do it, I yell. Then turn the fuck around why don’t you.”

“Uh huh.”

“But then we keep going and get together and it’s pure bliss.”

“True. Same as our first date, huh? I throw you out of the apartment, ten minutes later we’re in bed with no memory of any problem of any kind.”

“Yep. And in the morning I say the stupidest thing I’ve ever said in my life.”

“What?”

“So do you want to be my girlfriend?”

Pictured – Mars and Venus United by Love, Paolo Veronese, 1528-1588, Oil on canvas, 205,7 x 161 cm, c. 1570, Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York