The soldier and I on the phone last night -

“Well we are both intensely jealous, P. We have that in common.”

“I know,” I said. “I’m even worse than you, I think.”

“No, we’re equally bad. I am a jealous as you, believe me,” he said.

“Well you never showed it. You never said anything where I was overt. I was very loud and everybody knew if you screw around with my boyfriend, definite trouble.”

“Well I’m not going to lose my composure over it. I keep my composure at all time, even in the middle of battle, I have my composure but believe me, you’re no more jealous than I am. We’re both crazy when it comes to being jealous.”

“Well I like my way. I may be crazy but you’ve got to admit its one hell of a deterrent. Are you sure you want to screw around with my man? You sure? There are easier targets you know.”

He laughed.

“Most of the women who do this go for an easier target than I make. It’s like rapists. They show all these guys in prison for rape a city scene and ask them who they’d target. Invariably they pick the same woman. The one with her head down and so forth. The easiest target they can find, see? So if you are looking for someone’s husband to screw, well that’s not me.”

“That’s not why men don’t cheat on you, P. It’s because you give them everything they could possibly want.”

“Well maybe I do. I keep a man busy but that’s part of not being an easy target don’t you think? I’m just saying I think a lot of these gals scan around looking for a man to target, subconsciously or otherwise and when they see mine, they see me next to him and think, I don’t think so. I think I’ll find an easier target! Because it’s common knowledge you are not going to be able to run your script if I am involved. I am going to drive the ship right into the iceberg. I would definitely blow things sky high. And I wouldn’t do anything to the woman. I’d give her the man for sure. It’s just that I don’t know how manly he’s going to seem when I drop him on her doorstep like garbage. Like trash I just tossed from my car.”

He snorted.

“Yep. Here’s your jackass, babe. Y’all have fun, you fool. Then I’d leave with my shiny hair and they could wonder what the hell just happened. Because all of this will take place in what? Four seconds? It’s not going to take a day. It’s not going to take a week. This would all happen instantaneously like whiplash, the two of them left for the rest of their lives to figure out what just happened. And me? Well I’m going to ride off like Lone Ranger, I guess. I’m going to get on my pony because as far as I am concerned any man who cheats on me is an idiot and you know how I feel about the stupid. I have no use or interest in them at all. I feel they are a pain to be around, don’t you?”

Are you jealous? What is your jealousy style?