Dear Young Man,

I appreciate and admire your sensitivity and think you are wise to consider this carefully before telling this girl how you are feel. Because unfortunately I would be very surprised she feels the same way, if she has never given you any indication of this. I’m sorry.

I also notice you didn’t mention how you came about knowing she was interested in someone else. But if she is the one who told you, you can be almost certain that she said this as a means to keep you at a distance. So if this is the case, I would definitely not say anything to her because you will do exactly as you fear… put her in an uncomfortable situation and almost certainly compromise the friendship, if not end it entirely.

But if she did not tell you about another man directly then perhaps you should bring this up. Put on the table and I’ll tell you the best way to do that.

Do it casually! Please do not confess your undying love or she will surely feel her skin crawl. It’s just too much. Just very casually let her know you are attracted to her and be ready at the slightest indication she does not share your feelings, to drop it completely.

For the record, I have lost lots of friendships this way. But I have kept two friends (for life) after a message like this was conveyed and both times it was because the person doing the revealing kept it very simple and withdrew completely when they turned away. So if you are turned away?

So what! The way it stands you are caught on this girl and if you learn she has no intention of being caught on you, then you’ll be free to look elsewhere for someone who can and will reciprocate your affection.

Also feelings like this thrive in a vacuum but once they are let out, they will surely dissipate. And if she loves you too? Well in that case, congratulations!

Good luck.

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