Ben and I…

So anyway, I learned a lot from the AMF and now I am still learning a lot but I am learning different things.”

“Elsa, they are very different men. They couldn’t really be more different.”

“Yeah, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Turns out I feel the same regardless. I feel like me, that is. I feel exactly the same and since the situations have absolutely nothing in common at all, perhaps this just means I’m happy on my own.” I laughed.

“Sounds like you are,” he said.

“Yeah, I am. And this is another thing I seem to be finding out. It’s pretty clear to that whatever my mixture of glee and pain I am as a person, I will constellate it no matter where you put me. And I’m getting better all the time at more glee and less pain.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah. Which means in my case, there’s no sense blaming the man for anything. He’s got nothing to do with it. It seems I’m generating my reality and it is completely independent of someone I may be involved with does or feels… says, or whatever. Which means they can do anything they want and I don’t have to worry about it, do I?”

“That follows.”

“It does follow. Oh, Elsa! If you lose this you will not be able to function. If you lose that, you will fall apart. Well guess what? All these things that were supposed to have befallen me if this or this or this other happened, did not occur. None of it manifested and I lost all that stuff, didn’t I?”

“You did.”

“And look what happened? Nothing. I am still me. It just doesn’t seem to matter, Ben. This is what the evidence shows. I am this specific entity and I remain this entity no matter what happens. And if you have any questions you can look back, because I have my whole life to prove it. So I don’t think I’m going to be worrying anymore. I have figured out there is no way I can stop being this person I am no matter what happens. It’s just an impossibility.”