It’s his (Scorpio) energy, he can direct it anyway he pleases…

Two years ago

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“They want me to play a concert at Carnegie Hall.”

“What? Really? Cool!!! I want to come.”

“Elsa, no. I don’t want to do it.”

“What do you mean? You’re kidding, right?”

“No, I’m not kidding. They flew all the way out here. They’re trying to talk me into but I… I just don’t think I want to do it,” he said.

“Why not?”

“Why? Why would I do it?”

“Why wouldn’t you do it?”

“I guess I just don’t aspire to that. To play my cello at Carnegie Hall. I mean I know it’s prestigious but I am not interested in prestige. You know that. I hate attention to be focused on me.”

“True.”

“Well, they really want me to do this. I am being pressured from all sides. People from New York were here today. At my apartment I mean. Three of them! They are trying to talk me into this, but playing the cello at Carnegie Hall? I just don’t have any interest it that I can think of.”

“Amazing.”

“I suppose. But not really. Think about it. Do you know how much I would have to practice to do this? How much time this would suck up?”

“A lot.”

“A whole lot. And for what?”

“Prestige, which you are not interested in?”

“Exactly. Elsa, I don’t have the time. I am dedicated to teaching these kids. I don’t know what else to say. I don’t really want to go to New York either. I used to live there and I have no desire at all to go back. I hate to fly so I would probably have to drive. It would take me three days to get there. Three days there and three days back with my cello in a car. All that practice. All that focus off the kids and for what?”

“There’s nothing in it for you.”

“There is nothing in it for me.”

“Well there would be something in it for me,” I said. “Your friend, Elsa would get to go to Carnegie Hall and see you play,” I said with a chuckle.

“Yes. Yes there would be something in it for you, I suppose. You’d probably like being in New York, yourself. But I’ve had enough of it for this lifetime.”

“Well listen, Ben. If you decide to go, I get to come! But if not, I understand. And I would probably just cry the whole time anyway.”

“Cry? Why?”

“Oh, it’s just the way I am. I would cry before the first note, all the way through the concert and then some. Er… because of how far you’ve come. You, a little picked on boy.”

“I was picked on.”

“No, shit.”

“No shit is right. But anyway, Elsa, I don’t think I’m going to do it. They’re using every angle. They said it will bring attention to the region. They are trying to appeal to my soft side.”

“Your feet are not enough? You have already given them your feet in the paper.”

“Yes! And no, my feet are not enough. Now they want to kill me by having me drag my cello to New York. Like I don’t bring enough attention to region as it is. I bust my butt to bring attention to this region and the kids who play here and they all know but they are trying to guilt me anyway.”

“Well it doesn’t sound like you’re going to do it.”

“No, it doesn’t. I have not given them a final answer yet, though.”

“Well if you play there, I’m coming. But I don’t blame you if you don’t. It is a different direction… it’s moving away from what you really care about.”

“These kids? Yes. These kids are what I really care about and if I could see a way it would help them I might do it. But they don’t need their teacher off playing some concert in New York. And doing everything I’d have to do to prepare for that. How is that supposed to help them?”

“It won’t.”

“No, I don’t think it will either. So I think I am going to have to turn them down. They will be disappointed in me but I don’t know what else I can do. I have my priorities and all my priorities center around these kids. These kids are what my life is about and I don’t have enough time with them as it is. To teach them what I want them to know, I mean. There is never enough time. So there you go. I guess I am going to say no. People will say I am crazy but it won’t be the first time, will it?”

We both laughed.

“No. You’re a crazy bastard and all because you make sense. What a crime, making sense like this. They’re going to beat you up aren’t they?”

“Yep. They’ll beat me up all right. They always do.”

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