I had ten minutes before I had to leave for the airport when I noticed the zipper on my ugly pants was broken. Oh no! What to do?

My mind scrambled. Surely this must be a sign, but a sign of what?

A sign I needed some safety pins! Yes! So I pinned my pants on and off I went!

Later in the airport I was talking to HQ:

“Well here’s what I learned,” I said. “If you wear ugly pants, you can do anything. You can say anything to anyone. I was going on in the airport shuttle. It was okay though. People were laughing.”

“I don’t understand,” he said. “You need ugly pants to do this? Since when…”

I interrupted him. “Well, I’m just saying I feel very liberated (Uranus) in these pants. Because…”

All the sudden I understood what he was saying. I was talking pretty freely about murder and mayhem when I was visiting him in New York. That lady in the coffee shop had to leave.

“Um… I’m really happy,” I said. “That’s what I’m trying to tell you. If you wear pants like this, you can clearly get away with anything. And the fact they are pinned on is a bonus. If they break anymore, I’m going to get some duct tape, I guess.”

How’s your weekend going?

skip to Ugly Pants – Ep 3