Caught Her Taurus Man Trolling On Several Sex Dating Sites: Aquarius Woman, Capricorn Moon
Dear Elsa,
My man is a Taurus and we have been together 5 years. He seeks other women’s attention to make his ego feel better or validated in some way – or maybe he just is flirty. I always feel like something is going on behind my back.
A few months ago he went on several sex dating sites and made up profiles saying, “Lonely 29 year old looking for sex on the down low. Attached and only looking for sex age 18-35″. He put our email address as an alternate email and I found out and blew a fuse. He played the whole, “it wasn’t me” act. 3 days went by. He said he just wanted to see if I would trust him when he said he didn’t do it.
Now for 3 days I went on and on, pretending I believed him. Oh my goodness! We should call the cops! Your credit card info must be stolen! He then reluctantly said it was him.
I said it broke my heart and that I could not believe the things he wrote, after he claimed I am the love of his life and he wants to marry me and so forth. He said he was bored and just wanted to see naked women and see if anyone would respond. He said it was a joke in poor taste.
Now there have been some other minor things in the past 5 years, non computer related. I’m just so mad still and don’t trust that he doesn’t have this other life with some other girl. I just don’t know how what to do. I love him and want to see our lives progress together. We have been through a lot of hard time money wise, family wise, childhood wise – but this does not mean I want to play the fool.
Girlfriend
United States
Dear Girlfriend,
You want your lives to progress together. Are you sure about this? You want this man who trolls for other women right beneath your nose and then lies about it, and deflects it all over the place when cornered? I just have one question. Why?
You sound very mothering, which is fine. I actually like your style. The way you busted him and got him to cop was sublime. But do you really want to be mama to this guy?
This is the question. Because clearly, your spider senses are working. The man is slimy, just exactly as you fear. But it sounds like you feel about him, something akin to what you would feel for a child. That is, your kid is screwing up but you are going to love them anyway because this is just exactly what Moms do. They can and do forgive their child anything.
So personally, I think you’d be better off with a real man and a real child. I think you are wasting your time and skills trying to police and raise this big child. But that’s me! And you’re an Aquarian and I’m not. I am nowhere near as detached as you are.
So I say, keep the man or don’t. But whatever you do, be conscious of why and this will insure that you are nobody’s fool.
Good luck.
~~
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5 Responses to “Caught Her Taurus Man Trolling On Several Sex Dating Sites: Aquarius Woman, Capricorn Moon”
I think you should ditch this loser fast. He may be 29 but he really is 18. You caught him this time, so you have no idea what he’s been up to until he got caught. You sound like a level-headed gal with a lot to offer someone worthy. Ditch him and take care.
Liars lie. (Especially about who they lie horizontally with!) (DON’T expect him to tell the truth.)
Some day, ~you~ will wake up with an STD that ~you~ will have to live with for the rest of ~your~ days, and guess where it will have come from? (Condoms do NOT protect against all STDs.) Do *you* want to be paying the price for *his* choices? (This choice is yours.)
When you have sex with him, you have sex with every other person he is having sex with (or even just kissing).
Just something to think about, on the practical side.
He plays, you pay.
Capricorn Moon people also value integrity–especially emotional integrity! Like, lying just doesn’t cut, nor do mind games, nor does being a big-assed stinkin’ baby!
He wanted to see if YOU trusted HIM? And why? Because he and you both know that to trust him is like trusting a snake not to bite you when you step on it.
Oh, and by the way? “I wanted to see naked women” is an extremely shit-poor excuse for trolling the internet looking for casual sex with strangers.
I hope that you take care of yourself, Girlfriend, because this kind of behaviour is risky in all kinds of ways, not just as SF describes above, but also for your emotional well-being and sense of self. Good luck.
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I’ve a Capricorn moon and find that I must watch myself for a predisposition toward feelings of obligation toward my partner even when things are objectively dysfunctional. As well, I think that it’s the Cappy in me (or could it be the Libra?) which hates to fail at ANYTHING. Pretend that you just met this man today, would you desire him in your life? Ignore the history (I know, hard for us) and decide if this way to live is emotionally satisfying to you because I suspect you’ll say no. Whatever you do, don’t marry or consider further children with him anytime in the near future as that will only compound any and all difficulties or tendencies. Good luck!