Horrible Marriage With Two Kids: Saturn Transit, Aquarius Sun
Dear Elsa,
My husband and I have been married almost 16 years. We met each other in the army and got married a year later. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant with my first child, and that is when the disrespectful treatment began. Sex without affection; he slept with 7 women the first 4 years of our marriage which he confessed to because I finally asked.
I have also cheated on him during the 7th year of our marriage but I confessed to the two affairs I had and he only confessed to two. He made me feel like a whore and put me through Hell. I rededicated my life to Christ and thought our marriage was fine – until he went overseas to work and gave me his computer he used over there and I found all the chat rooms he had been in, talking dirty and having online sex with other women. I could go on and on.
I forgave him for all of the past but this time I just can’t seem to shake the hurt and pain. I now know he slept with way more women than I once thought and he told me it was because I wouldn’t swallow. But he never satisfied me sexually. He always finishes early, never holds me or touches me afterwards, just apologizes and goes about his business.
Now I have to ask him for sex because he blames it on the blood pressure medication he has been taking for the past 8 years, during which time he had several affairs and masturbated to other women online. I feel unattractive, unloved and unwanted. He says he loves me, he’s sorry and doesn’t want a divorce – but every time I tell him how I am feeling, he asks me if I want a divorce.
I have fibromyalgia and myofascial pain syndrome, I am not working right now and I had a rough childhood and I don’t want my two kids to suffer. I love him and hate him at the same time. I want a divorce but then I am scared. I cry everyday without trying and I am on antidepressants. What do I do? What is wrong with me? I feel like I am going crazy sometimes.
Unhappy Wife
Dear Wife,
Your life sounds horrendous and I feel very bad for you. However there is only one person in the entire world who can fix it… and that person is you.
Now you do not seem confused. You know exactly how you feel and why you feel that way, so it leaves this question: What are you going to do about it? And you don’t have to come up with a long term and total solution. You can start small.
See, you got here by making a series of wrong decisions. Like you’re driving and you make a wrong turn, then another wrong turn and yet another wrong turn. Next thing you know, you’re in the middle of the woods and completely disoriented. So orient yourself!
You’re 36 years old. Odds are you’ve got another 36 years to live. Would you like to spend them with this man? If so, do nothing. If not, you need to get moving and most definitely this is what I would do. I would be plotting a course out of there so fast, your head would spin. And your kids?
The best thing you can do for your kids is to live a happy life that satisfies because you are teaching them every minute of every day. Your kids will live in whatever track you lay down for them, until and unless they fight their way out, so best to put them in a track to happiness in the first place, yes?
So you are where you’re at. But you have an opportunity now, to set an example for your children. You can show them that you can be down, way down… and you can comeback. You can turn your life around, slowly, methodically and very deliberately, simply by making better choices! By daring to do something new. By daring to discover what a healthy choice looks like and then learning… training yourself to move in the direction. And the astrology?
Saturn is transiting square your Sun in Aquarius, begging you to clutch it up and take responsibility for your life. And as always if you accept this challenge, support will arrive. This is a universal law.
Good luck.
~~
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