I befriended a married Virgo man. I was unhappily married and so was he, and over the years we became buds. After time we got closer and he told me he fell in love with me. I liked the way treated me and he made me stronger with my husband as far as getting treated better. We never did anything about our feelings but talk about them. He didn’t want to abandon his wife and daughter, even though he’d get suicidal sometimes due to his unhappiness.
I on the other hand got separated, as my husband continued to mistreat me. He saved me in a way… then after time realized he could never be with me and said it hurt to see me and talk to me and never have me. So he left it up to fate.
Now he won’t answer my calls and I just want to tell him thanks for saving me but he disappeared. Makes me wonder if he meant what he said? Will I ever talk to him again? I miss him and realize he was as close to a soul mate as I’d ever get. How can he live in misery and ‘fake it’ as he says. I had to be true to myself and my son. Why can’t he?
It sounds to me like this man loved you very much and no doubt, he still does. Because love is love and when it’s real it goes nowhere. But love is a feeling. It does not dictate behavior or timing or anything else. I very much understand you want him with you and why, but you must understand via your faith there are larger considerations and a much grander plan that you have to let it unfold.
I like my sister’s analogy best. She’s a dancer and she equates all of life to a grand ballet. And a long one at that. And she mentioned this to me about 15 years ago and I have thought about it a lot since. And I’ve figured out a few things.
For example, the ballet is the thing. It’s the show as a whole that matters. So you can’t always be dancing with the person you want to be dancing with, in the way you want to be dancing with them. Sometimes you’re not even on stage for an act, or two, or three. And then you’re back out there. You dance with this person then another and then another. And then these other two come back to dance together. You get the idea. You are not the ballet, but part of the ballet. A critical part, as is everyone else but you are not the show.
And this man has done you no harm. And I have to think he has withdrawn for this same reason” to protect you. And as to how he can live in misery… it’s with great difficulty, I’m sure. I am sure he is in intense pain but he is doing what he needs to do. He is dancing his part and he’s doing it with integrity and I think you should do the same.
It’s very simple. You are not on his stage right now because you are not the director of the ballet! Other dancers are dancing and you just need to chill. And have some faith! Because he’s right. If you are meant to dance with this guy again, it will happen and nothing will stop it.
So I’d say, try to relax. And just be glad and grateful this guy came into your life and helped you out of a bad relationship. I think you’ve been gifted.
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!
So how about another story? This one concerns my sister who is a Pisces (Neptune) with a Capricorn (Saturn) rising.
She also has Saturn in the 12th (Neptune’s house) and Neptune in the 10th (Saturn’s house). I told you it ran in the family!
Anyway, my sister is psychic. Think what you will. I grew up with her and I am damned sure of this. And one night I was talking to her on the phone.
This was quite awhile ago and I was pretty disturbed at the time. This was back in 1992 when all the planets were lined up in Capricorn. These were the outer planets… much different than the line up now forming in Scorpio.
And if you have Capricorn I am sure you can relate. All bets were off! Capricorn lives were going off like the 4th of July. And in whatever case, my sister could see the future quite readily and I was in the habit of calling her…
“What’s next on deck?” I asked.
“Flowers,” she said.
“Oh fuck me, with the flowers. I don’t want any flowers and I’m not getting any flowers. Did you hear me?”
I had just been through some flower trauma. Some bastard had sent me like fifty dozen roses. Actually, he didn’t send them. He brought them. And I didn’t want them. And I didn’t want him. So how could she say something like this after I just had this fiasco? I didn’t want to see another flower for twenty years at least. If ever!
“Look. No flowers! I’m not getting flowers. As you know I’m not dating anyone. And I’ve got no one on the hook. I am man-less.”
“Well, that won’t last.”
“It’s lasting pretty good so far,” I said.
“A week? Fuck you, Elsa.” She yelled to her husband. “Hey! Elsa’s having a dry spell! She hasn’t had a man on her hook in a week!” She laughed and I listened to her laugh. Back on the phone with me… “Like I said. You’re getting flowers.”
“Look again. That can’t be. And it’s been more than a week. Look better. There are no flowers. There is no man. No man means no flowers. I don’t give a shit about that anyway.”
“Okay. I’ll look. But I see the flowers. It’s been more than a week? What? Eight days? Has it been eight days since you had a date? What is it with you and flowers anyway?”
“I don’t know. I’m not interested in them.”
“I believe you. I’m not interested in them either. And I never get them. But you get them all the time. I wonder why that is? Because you definitely get them all the time whether you want them or not, and now you’re getting some more.”
“Are you sure?”
I asked because what I really wanted to hear was that I was getting a man. And if I’m getting flowers, which apparently I am…
“Yeah. I see them They’re right there. More flowers for the condo.” She laughed.
She knew I’d my whole place full of those roses. This guy put roses everywhere. He put them in the blender for godsakes. My blender was stuffed with them. The bathroom trashcan too! It was stuffed with roses as if it were a vase! Believe me, there roses everywhere. He’d come in my condo and arranged them while I was out of town. I decided to cop to being me.
“Well if you see flowers, then maybe I am getting a man. I’m hopin’.”
“Am I? Can you see the man?”
“No. Maybe you should wait a week. Do you think you can do that?”
“Well if I have to then I guess I will.”
“Well I can’t see him, so you may have to. But the flowers are coming.”
“Great. Flowers, but no man. See ya.”
The next day I met the Aquarian in the hot tub at the gym. He was an older African guy who had befriended me. I was in a new state, see. And I’d landed pretty hard.
Anyway, he was pal. And we were in the habit of meeting in the hot tub after my work out. He was lazy and rarely worked out, but I did. And anyway it was a regular day. We had our regular chat, but then when it was time to go, he asked me to meet him at his bike.
“I want to show you something,” he said
The Aquarian had this major motorcycle. He was damned proud of it too. It was aqua colored if you can imagine that. And he’d park it illegally at the front door of the gym so the he could see it from the hot tub. He loved that bike and I was standing next to it after hitting the locker room, when he walked outside.
“Have you ever seen a finer machine, Elsa?”
“No, not really. It’s a beauty. You sure I can’t drive it?”
“I can’t do it, Elsa. No one has ever ridden her but me, myself and I.”
I nodded. “I know, I know. Just checking.”
Keys in his hand, he unlocked the saddlebag on the back of his bike, lifted the lid and pulled out a huge…
I just laughed. He said he saw them and thought of me. Bursting with energy and so forth.
And I blushed and thanked him of course, but really all I could do is think of my sister. And do you know what I thought?
“Damn her, she just did it again.”
Keep reading -> Problems Real or Hologram
pictured – Bouquet of Flowers in a Sculpted Vase, Jan Frans Eliaerts (b. 1761, Deurne, d. 1848, Antwerpen) Oil on canvas, 90 x 71 cm, Koninklijk Museum voor Schone Kunsten, Antwerp
I am a Capricorn, engaged to a Capricorn. We constantly have issues regarding sex drive. I have a much higher drive than he does. When we have sex, it is awesome and totally fulfilling. But it is just on his terms usually and infrequent. He is always complaining of being tired or just seems to have to be the one initiating sexual contact – or else he is not as interested.
It is so hurtful for me to lay there night after night and feel rejection by this man who says I am the love of his life. He is great at excuses and he throws in the occasional curve ball. Tonight I actually left the bedroom to sleep in the guest room out of frustration; I am very hurt and upset and found your website. Please give me some insight.
I really think you need to resolve this before you marry. And I hate to say this to a woman who wants to be happily engaged, but the fact is a gulf like this tends to widen over time, not otherwise.
Now you may go for a while shut down to whatever extent, but eventually you are going to go insane with the pent up energy, effectively turning yourself into a shrew! And how’s that sound? Not so good, I bet. So I have to advise you get this out in the open. Don’t tuck it away. Instead, make it bigger.
Tell your man this is a serious issue for you, one the two of you are going to have to address. From there, look for a compromise and see if you can come to one. But if he starts with the excuses and refuses to look at this, I would be very leery of marrying him and I’ll quote another Capricorn on this… an old man I met when I was 19.
“If there are rocks in the marriage, they’re in the bed.”
Get it? If you have problems in the bedroom, you have problems. Sorry.
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!
Outtakes and Various Other Sundries…
It just dawned on me! Saturn Neptune and I’m working (Saturn) in a bar (Neptune/drunkenness) in that story. Ha ha ha! See how this is? You can’t escape your chart!
I’m coming back with another story. This one is about a psychic Pisces with a Capricorn rising. Again, for entertainment. With Saturn in Leo, this is my job!
Damned if I know. I constantly hear there are problems with the ask a question page but when I test it, the mails sail right through so I have no idea.
If you are having trouble, please mail direct – questions at elsaelsa.com Thanks and sorry for the trouble!
So anyway, I met LB every morning and started bringing breakfast in for us. I’d bring a muffin or something that could be heated in the toaster oven which was all that was available. LB would brew coffee a few minutes before I got there and we’d post up to eat and laugh and listen to Devo’s “Whip It” on the jukebox. I don’t think there is a funnier song on the planet. We both thought that song was stupid and we’d play it each day just to laugh ourselves into oblivion. And the one day it was pouring rain.
It was cold too. It was winter. And all I had was a motorcycle so I drove it year round. It doesn’t rain that much in the desert but when it does, it stings when you drive through it on a motorcycle, never mind you get drenched. Eventually I got smart and tucked a change of clothes into my clothes, because I would get to work with my teeth chattering, frozen stiff.
Rainy season, LB would be waiting at the door to usher me in. It was his idea; I bring my bike into the bar on rainy days so I didn’t have to get off work and have it not start or something. He also didn’t want me to have to sit in water, seat soaked in the rain.
“That’s a good machine you have there. You should take care of it,” he said.
It wasn’t that often, but on rainy days I would pull the bike inside the bar and park it by the jukebox. I’d get to ride it through the bar when I go off work which is kind of cool if you think about it. I’d weave through the pool tables, being seen.
So on this day, I pulled into the parking lot drenched, and drove up to the bar. I had stop to lift the bike onto the concrete slab in front and then over the threshold of the front door. No problem.
Once inside, I drove it to its spot by the jukebox and then something happened, but I have no idea what. Instead of stopping the way I always had before, I kept going and I hit the stage at the edge of the dance floor with my front tire which popped up and then CRASH! I laid down my bike. First time. Only time.
But it was worse. The gas cap popped off and the tank emptied onto the floor. It just gurgled and poured out, a full tank. Two gallons I think, spreading in a pool.
LB did a little snicker, but I was mortified. OH CRAP. What have I done?
“I’ll get my mop,” he said. He was smiling. He opened his mouth to say something else but changed his mind and just chuckled. He walked into the back room as I turned beet red from embarrassment and started stammering and making excuses.
Basically, I babbled but LB was eighty-something. What the hell did he care? He didn’t.
“This is no problem Elsa. I had that floor clean but I’ve been mopping this floor for forty years. One more time isn’t going to kill me. Besides. I believe it’s worth it just to see the look on your face.”
I was speechless. Well almost. “I’ll clean it up,” I said.
He shook his head with a big smile. “No you won’t. This is my job.” He tried not to laugh at me because I really was traumatized. “You take care of your bike. Pick it up. Put it in Judy’s office.”
“Well you don’t want people to find out your drove it into the stage do you?”
“Put it back there. Do you need help, or can you lift it? This’ll be between you and me. If anyone asks where your bike is, tell them you left it home. Tell them I drove you today because it’s rainin’ out. Tell them it’s none of their business.”
I picked up the bike. I was listening.
“Then when you get off work, go back to Judy’s office, get on your bike and go out the back door instead of the front. No one will know,” he laughed. “But you best go straight to the gas station. I think you need some gas.”
That did it. He could no longer hold it. He stopped to laugh and laugh, and laugh. So I laughed with him. What the hell?
“Do you think you can make it to the station? Those things don’t use much gas do they? $1 a week, you say? I don’t know what gas you’ve got left. Maybe just fumes. When I get this mopped up, I’ll be done cleaning and I can go get you a gallon. I have a can in my car.”
“No, LB. That’s okay. I’ll make it.”
He smiled. “Okay, Elsa. I believe you will.”
“I believe that too.”
“Then it’s decided.”
He swiped his mop through the pool of gas and rainbows appeared. 15 minutes later, the bar opened and the drunks arrived.
The gas was gone. The bike was gone. It’s stashed in the back room, but the SMELL. Ohhhhhhhh man, the smell…
One of the customers asked, “What is that? Smells like gasoline.”
LB saids, “What smell?” and I laughed.
“That smell! That fuckin’ gas smell. Can’t you smell that?”
“No. I don’t believe I can,” LB said. “Gas? I don’t smell any gas. I’m using some new cleaner on the floor. Maybe that’s what you smell.”
“Doesn’t smell like cleaner to me. Smells like gas. I know what gas smells like.”
“Well it smells just like the regular cleaner I use on the floor, everyday, to me. I know what that stuff smells like.”
I beamed as LB winked at me, then left for home. The rest of the day, people came in. “Do I smell gas?”
“Nope. It’s cleaner,” I told them. “I sure hope they don’t keep using it. I hope LB goes back to the other, because this one smells like gas,” I said.
End of the day I got off work, went into the back room to count the register and then got on my bike and drove out the back door.
We were never found out.
Keep reading -> Psychic Pisces Clues Me In…
Outtakes and Various Other Sundries…
“On October 24th 2006, Planet Earth is going to bear witness to a comparatively rare alignment of planets in the Solar System…”
Hell of a birthday season shaping up for Scorpio, eh?
Here’s a Saturn Neptune story. It’s an interlude for pure entertainment. It ia Saturn / Neptune related because it’s about a Saturn ruled Capricorn obscuring (Pisces) reality. The reality (Saturn) of leaked gas (Neptune) of all things. ::shakes head::
Anyway, this story vividly illustrates how the energy in a chart plays. I have a strong Saturn Neptune signature in my chart and it just turns up everywhere all the time. And with Saturn currently opposing Neptune in the sky if you pay attention you’ll see the effect of these two energies combined all around you.
Look for magic, because so often this is what it is.
LB was an African man who cleaned the bar where I worked from the time I was 19 until I was 21. I don’t know the whole story, but I do know he cleaned this bar in the middle of the night for 40 years.
The owners were good people. There was major relationship between them and LB, deeply respectful in both directions. LB owned his home free and clear and indicated if not for one or two things they had done on his behalf many years prior, this would not have been the case.
He didn’t clean the bar because he needed the money. He cleaned the bar because he was a Capricorn and if Capricorn quits working they’re dead. Similar to Henry who started digging a hole for his underground house at 79 years old… with a shovel!
Anyway, he’d come in the bar after closing around two in the morning, to clean after everyone had gone home, and he did this seven nights a week. He liked it.
“I like to mop this old floor. I feel like it’s my floor, Elsa. This is my floor to clean.”
I didn’t argue. He was in his eighties and he’d know. I came in at six in the morning to open the bar. Yep. Six AM.
I’d heard of “LB” but I’d never met him because he was done cleaning before I got to work. Then one day he was sick. He was terribly sick and the unthinkable happened (for Capricorn). He showed up late to work and we collided.
I had a key to the bar and I unlocked the door and found him in there cleaning. He startled me.
“You must be Elsa,” he said introducing himself. “They’re not kidding. You’re young, all right.”
I was the first person ever hired in this bar that was less than 50 years old. Long story. But anyway, I don’t remember much what we talked about, but when it was time to go he said “I believe I like you.” And I answered him back, “I believe I like you, too.”
Next thing you know, we moved our hours. He started coming in late and I started coming in early. We only had to shift our schedules 15 minutes or so and this was long enough we could have a visit before anyone showed up for a drink. By 6:05 I would have several customers in the place and he would head home.
LB talked about his life and I talked about mine and we both laughed ourselves stupid. It was just one of those things. It was a phenomenon. There was an inexplicable bond between us, observable by anyone. Well, astrology explains it, but you know… I would go as far as to say I have never liked anyone in my life more than I liked LB. And he may have very well felt the same way about me.
Keep reading -> LB- Part two
I was seeing a guy who I thought ‘was the one’ for about 3 months when he said he wasn’t ready for commitment and we broke up. Three months later, he rang me saying he had thought about nothing else but me and wanted to spend his life with someone and he wanted it to be me. I’m very good friends with his best mate and know for sure that my friend would not have let my ex contact me unless he was serious.
We have been seeing each other for about 4 weeks now. I made it clear when we got back together what I wanted from the relationship and what I expected from him… but I’m beginning to see the same sort of behavior signs that I saw last time. I’m not overbearing. In fact we see each other about once or twice each week and I’m making a real effort not to contact him.
Am I being paranoid or is he having a change of heart? He is an Aquarius. I just don’t want to be heartbroken again.
Stellium in Libra
I am going to be very candid with you. I don’t think you’ve got the right man. When you find “The One”, you will not have these kinds of questions.
“The One” will deliver a good deal of what you want and need, organically. This is as opposed to you having to outline and dictate it all. When you find “The One” you will not be training yourself, straining yourself. “The One” will not leave you struggling to not be seen as “overbearing” or any other thing.
My friend satori put it best when she told me if you have to cut off your toes to get your foot into the slipper, then you’ve got the wrong man! So I’m sorry. I know there are things you like about this guy but if you pay attention… the main thing he is doing is making you miserable. And you have a Leo Moon, you know.
So besides your stellium in Libra (relationship is everything), your Leo Moon needs a good deal of attention and two times a week just isn’t gonna cut it. So do yourself a favor. Don’t try to cajole a third day out of this guy. Makes more sense to find a man who gives you four or five or six days a week of his own volition.
Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!
I hail from a family of incestuous behavior and violent abuse. My brother and I got to be the “guinea pigs” so to speak. My sisters (for some odd reason) were spared the violent attacks but not the sexual abuse. No, I cannot say for sure that my brother was also perpetrated but he was into a lot of things that 9-10 year old boys don’t know about.
Anyway, all of us have not spoken to each other for nearly 20 years until November of 2005. My sisters wanted to reunite because they realized that our parents were “sick”. I was all for a reunion and welcomed them into my home.
During the many months of healing old wounds, my sister met a guy and they “fell in love”. They loved each other so much that they decided that they should marry and they did… 3 months later. My sister was kind of broke before she met her man and had to sell her home to pay off the mortgage. She made a good profit and bought another home with a smaller mortgage and embarked on a second career of flipping homes. Now, this man of hers works for the government and has a pretty good job… seemed he had it together… or not.
He just did not know how to save any of his hard earned bucks and so was lacking financial stability at the ripe old age of 40ish. My sister is a pretty frugal gal, except when distracted by large shiny objects and a mirror. So she bought herself the best wedding and honeymoon a credit card could buy. And that is all good and stuff except for one tiny little detail: she needed to borrow money from me.
Now everyone knows that I am broke as a joke. I stay at home to take care of my family, so my hubby is the “bread winner”. He has a little savings from the sale of some property in Europe so I am under the distinct impression that this is HIS money and not mine.
I asked my husband if he was feeling generous and he said not just no but “hell” no. I broke the bad news to my sister and she was upset (that self-portrait she had commissioned was still on “layaway”) and said that her man would share all that he had with her and she with him. Only trouble is her man doesn’t have a “pot to piss in”.
I told her how very sorry I was for not being in the position to loan her the money but that this was property he owned long before we were married so it was not my place to even ask him for the loan. My sister said her man would share whatever he had with her.
Well, ever since that day she has been rude and very distant in her tone with me. Because of a lot of things going on with my son, I was not able to make her wedding and this even made her more upset. My question is this. Does she have a right to be hurt or am I missing some red flag here?
Concerned and Confused
I think your sister has the right to feel hurt or any other way she pleases. But you did nothing wrong. The thing is: with families like yours, boundaries are often very weak. And this seems the situation here. Everybody is in everybody else’s business and nobody knows how to draw lines.
And this is frequently why families break apart the way yours did. People do it to survive. No one can seem to exist without falling into the very painful family stew so they amputate in the hopes of starting fresh and faring better. So now you’re back in and things are starting to constellate and I have some ideas that might help.
First, understand that your boundary was completely appropriate. And your Venus (money) Neptune (sacrifice) conjunction in Scorpio is a very leaky combination so I think you should be congratulated on managing to make it. And from here all you have to do is stick to guns… and hope.
Hope your sister runs through her emotions, which I am sure are complex. And hope she runs through her process whatever it may be, and she comes back to you in saner form. And there is agreement on all fronts I know of, how to best facilitate this which is nice because it makes it very simple.
The 12-steppers remind you to watch your side of the street. That means, keep yourself on track and leave others to do the same. And I have heard another analogy, about a well. Your whole family is in a well! They’re in there, man. And the idea is to get the fuck out of the well. Get yourself out!
And it’s virtually impossible to climb from the well if you keep reaching back in to grab the hands of family members in an attempt to pull them up when they do not want to go. Never mind, half of them want to pull you back in. So no! You’ve got to get yourself out and on to solid ground before you can even think about throwing them a line or no one is going to get out of there!
So with this in mind, I’d advise you stand strong and leave your sister to figure it out. Because these are facts:
Heads Up from Elsa P!
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