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Trouble Bonding - Pluto Transit

January 17th, 2006 @ 4:27 am by Elsa

Dear Elsa,

I’ve never been good at making friends. Although I have no enemies and many acquaintances, there are very few people to whom I feel close.

I never know whether I keep other people at arm’s length, or if they do it to me. Once every couple of years, I become romantically attached to someone who proves unattainable… and nearly always at the same time, someone develops a crush on me and when they get too close, I push them away.

I feel like this is a pattern I am stuck in, and if it goes on this way, I’ll end up alone. How can I break this pattern… and how can I teach myself to be more open to relationships of all kinds?

In your hands,
Water-bearing in Circles

Dear Circles,

pluto bomb I feel this is a pattern as well, but help is on the way in the form of a Pluto transit that is going to break this open for you - blow it sky-high and I will assist. Please brace yourself, because Pluto is sort of like surgery, sans anesthesia.

You’re an Aquarius, so you’ve got your detached side. You’re an Aries rising, so naturally independent. So far so good! Nice veneer, maaan. But what about the rest of this mess?

On the “getting close to people”, your Moon is conjunct Saturn and in five words, you are scared to death. You are completely terrified of emotion, and especially of being needy or dependent in any way. You know. Be a man! You must constantly contain yourself which has got to be bloody hard with the rest of your chart, which shows a person who is utterly porous.

So here’s what I’m thinking. Consider a family who is living well. That’s you. Except for one problem! In the back room, there is some horribly threatening monster they all try to deny. That right there is your life.

And common sense tells all of us that this is a dicey situation. It’s a dam that is going to break and in your case, it is going to break NOW. Thank God. Because you can’t live (well) like this.

So anyway, Pluto is going to station on your degree (26 mutable) February - May 2006, so you may as well start vomiting now. Puke it up, because it is in this direction that healing lies.

And if it were me, I would get a therapist. Because your natal Pluto is in the 7th house (relationships) and you could really benefit from a therapeutic relationship with someone who has some command.

Ideally, in that situation, you will learn to form a deep and trusting bond with another person and if you acquire this skill you will be well on your way to a more satisfying existence. Do it. Invest in yourself. Good luck.
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