Dear Jupiter,

It’s heartening to see a 23 year-old man who thinks about someone besides himself, and I very much appreciate your desire to be loyal. However, I think your number one loyalty needs to be to yourself. And I don’t think “plodding along” is a very good way to live.

That your girlfriend provided support when you needed it does not surprise me. Class attracts class! You’re a good person, she’s a good person, and so you hooked up and had this exchange. That’s great, but it does not obligate you to be her boyfriend for life.

I do think you have some responsibility though. You have a responsibility to be true to your emotions, and to be emotionally honest with her. And it’s obvious you want to be “clean” in this… what Virgo doesn’t? So I would suggest you resolve your feelings about the one girl before focusing on the other. You know. Consider your current relationship, independent from the other.

So do you want to stay romantically involved with your girlfriend? Because it doesn’t sound like you do. Friends, yes. But it sounds like you’re looking for something else, something more on the romance front.

If this is so, you have to tell her. You have to free yourself and her in the process. If you do go this route, I don’t know if she will want to maintain a friendship with you. But it’s worth a try. And in whatever case, you will have acted with integrity and at that point, you can move on to your next task. Facing your fear around the woman you want, for example.

Good luck.

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