Dear Closed,

Yes, you are freaking out. And it would be really smart if you can stop, so I am going to try to inspire you to this end. Because let’s just say this is “the guy”. If that is the case, then you are wasting your precious time with him – by creating a pressure cooker for absolutely no reason.

I really want you to think about letting the relationship unfold. Think of a rosebud. It opens on its own, doesn’t it? And what happens if you try to rip it open? You have a shredded mess, that’s what. All because you’re in a hurry.

I have really learned this in a profound way over these last couple years. I met a man who looked a lot like a life partner to me and I decided to trust that. Now I’m a fairly complex person and at times he would make statements about me I did not think were valid. Or he’d make assumptions I thought were somewhat erroneous.

There was a time I would have jumped all over something like that. I’d have wanted the record straight… because somewhere in me, I must have known the relationship was not permanent.

But what if it is? If it is, there is plenty of time. At some point he will find out he was wrong about x, y and z… or perhaps I will learn he was right. Sexy, huh? I think so.

This is my point: You don’t need to rush to get all your cards on the table. Much better to let him discover you. I highly suggest the next time you go off on this tack, you jerk the wheel back. Because off to the right there, is a cliff.

Good luck.

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