Dear Scared,

I am not going to tell someone who is scared that they ought to stay that way. You must face your fear. Always. Otherwise, you compromise your life. And when you start doing this, it quickly becomes a habit that is very hard to break.

Now there is nothing wrong with choosing to adopt children when you are able to bear them yourself. But your reason for making this choice needs to be clean, and yours is not. You are going to have to look at this and with that, I can probably help.

Could it be that because you are adopted… because your mother gave you up… you feel your genes are jacked up in some way? Are you afraid there is something inherently wrong with you and your DNA? Your charts suggests this may be the problem, so let me disabuse you of that notion.

Really good people come from really bad people, all the time. Really bad people come from really good people, as well. And I am passing no judgment on your mother at all. But let’s just say your mother is psycho-killer! So what? It’s only energy. I can’t say this often enough: Energy is neither good nor bad. Energy is neutral, until it’s directed.

I also want to refer you to a post I wrote last week, “Scorpio Mom” because it applies to you as well. That gal thinks she is foul in some way, that she will injure her child because she is so horrible herself. Can you see how this relates to you?

You must confront these feelings of unworthiness if you are to be a good parent to any child, adopted or otherwise. So do it!

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Swimming,

Insane? No! Change? Yes! It’s inevitable and I bet it’s radical.

I’ll tell you what you are. You are the subservient Pisces wife and friend, who is not going to take it anymore. Or more precisely, who CAN’T take it anymore.

You’re unhappy in your relationship. You’re unhappy with your friends. And I got news for you: you’re also unhappy with your appearance. And at this point, with transiting Uranus basically standing still on your 7 degree Pisces Sun into December, you are going to break out.

Astrologer Steven Arroyo paints the best picture of this. He writes about those women who are stuck in some horrible relationship, suffering silently as years pass. Years! No one thinks the gal will ever leave and then guess what happens? Uranus comes along!

Uranus liberates. People get themselves free. When Venus is involved (and your case it is), this is when you see some gal lose the hundred extra pounds she’s been carrying for eons. Know why?

It’s because they don’t belong on her and guess what? She no longer wishes to carry the burden. She wants to move freely in the world, and nothing is going to stop her! Not fuckin’ peanut butter, you know? She’s no longer going to let ice cream run her life. The 200 pound husband will go as well, if he does not support his partner’s revolution. As will the friends!

Basically whatever, whoever is restricting you at this time is going to be tossed overboard… and back to Mr. Arroyo – he points out that this seems very rash to the onlooker. It seems as if this woman has lost her mind, but in fact, this stuff has been brewing for awhile. For years!

So there you go. This is your life between now and the end of year. You’re going to stage a revolution and I for one am not going to even think about standing in your way.

Go Pisces!!!

~~
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Dear God I Hope You Get It!

Have you told him this? You don’t sound shy, so you must have! If not, please do so immediately. Tell him you need it, you want it, you’ve got to have it. Ask him if he’s going to give it to you or what.

Because I’m thinking you haven’t been laid right since the first two weeks of your relationship. And you still believe it’s going to happen? Well that’s a double Sadge for you: perennially optimistic! And I would like to agree with you hon, but I think you’re in big trouble with this man.

Being over-sexed myself, I understand your urges completely. I’ve been left for my sex drive and kept for my sex drive. But some things are constant – like the fact that I want to have sex!!! And I’ve had enough of it to know the chemistry is there and it is reciprocal… or it’s not. The sex drives match, or they don’t. And when they don’t, it’s painful in both directions.

So is your man going to spring up one day and become a five alarm fire? I doubt it. Odds are you’ll either live like this – frothing at the mouth, and chomping on your bit – or you’ll decide the situation is intolerable, and go looking for someone with a similar desire to connect.

I’m sorry, but from personal experience I believe over the long term, this is a deal-breaker for people like you and me. When we partner with someone with a lesser sex drive… well they don’t like being hounded for sex anymore than we like hounding them! And generally a gulf like this will widen over time.

I don’t know what to say. I hope he steps up and takes care of you. And if not, that you’re able to find a man who will. Because sex is enormously important to the people that it’s important to. I think it’s life-killing to go hungry in this way.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Capricorn,

I’m very sorry for your losses. Do you know any astrology? I’m guessing you don’t. But Pluto (death) just crossed your Venus (relationships) in Sagittarius… for the last time. There are two points to make about this.

First, when Pluto transits in aspect to a planet in your chart, a “wipeout” in the area indicated is almost a given. And it’s traumatic, just exactly as you describe. So that’s that.

Secondly, please note this transit has passed. Now I’m not going to make any promises, but it’s very likely that you’ve seen the worst of this. It’s sort of like your forest of friends has already burned to the ground. There is really nothing left to fuel a fire, so what’s left standing at this point is likely to remain so.

So with this analogy… the forest recovers, and so will you. But it doesn’t happen overnight. I had a similar experience some decades ago and I can tell you exactly how it went.

The losses came one after another, just as you describe. I thought I was going to die and I wished I could, but it didn’t happen. I got hit and hit and hit and then I quit getting hit, but had no idea what to do, or who I was or how I felt anymore. This is where you are now. It’s a void.

And the void lasts awhile! In my case, I spent six months of crying myself to sleep, only to wake up and burst into tears. For months! Where is Elsa? Is she ever coming back?

And the forest was coming back, but I couldn’t see it at first. There was no evidence, really. Until there was! In my case, I knew something has shifted the first time a real smile crossed my face. I was at work at a new job. I’d was talking shit on the surface, because I could. And it was a way to throw people off, you know? They think I’m here but I’m really over —> here. But anyway, I’d worked there about a week, when I met Ben.

Ben was an eccentric Scorpio, a flamboyant gay man. I’d heard about him for days before we actually collided. He was really hotting the place the place up, he had everyone in a tizzy. I had considerable energy myself and everyone was anxious we meet. Oil and oil, or oil and water, they wondered.

Well I met Ben that day and he was a stone cold kick in the pants. He circled around me, sizing me up, while making pithy comments and it was right about there, I smiled. A real smile. And authentic smile. Could it be, I’d found a playmate?

Yes!

Ben and I formed an unlikely alliance that remains intact today, more than two decades later. And this my point: right now, your landscape is barren. Your light is on low, like a pilot light… but it’s on. And someone will come along for you, like they did for me and they’ll fan that flame for you. They’ll feed you and you and you will grow – and glow – again.

Much love and good luck.

~~
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Dear Adrift,

Yeah, you’re pretty spacey but I’m not sure that’s a disconnect. As a matter of fact, it could indicate the exact opposite.

I understand you have no idea what you’re doing and feel as if you’re fumbling in the dark. But just think about being exactly the opposite of you. Think about being one of those people, who think they know exactly what they’re doing. You know, they’re twenty-four years old and they’ve got their whole life planned. They’ve got it all figured out.

You know what happens to them? Well, to a small minority, nothing. But most of them wake up five years later and say, “what the hell was I thinking? Whose bullshit life am I living?” And at that point, they’re very confused! They basically have to retrace their steps and try to figure out where they disconnected.

Fact is, a person who feels like they are flailing may very well be taking the shortest route to fulfillment. Because it is in this “void space” that real clarity comes. So here’s what I think.

I think you are very connected – you’re just connected to the ethereal world. And if that sounds too woo-woo for you, just consider traditional religion. Religious types pray to “God” for guidance. They pray for direction from a source outside themselves and no one bothers them about it! So this is what I would recommend.

I suggest you embrace your Fairy nature. Ask the universe to show you in which direction your path lies and wait for it to be revealed. Then, once you have your answer, gently adjust your oar and drift yourself in that direction, smiling all the way.

Good luck!

~~
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~~
pictured – Fair Rosamund, 1854, by Arthur Hughes. National Gallery of Victoria, Melbourne

Dear Not Sure,

You poor thing! This sounds a perfect hell! I’m going to tell you my straight gut on this, okay?

I think when you move away from someone, this is pretty definitive. I’m not saying you don’t have feelings for him, or he for you – because clearly this is not the case. I am saying that your life’s path has taken you away from him and I doubt this is an error.

So then you land half-way around the world. And you’re obviously not especially outgoing or gregarious, so it’s not like you’re going to hit the ground running. No, you’ve chosen a very challenging path here and I expect you’re very lonely. You probably you miss “home”. And he is “home”, isn’t he? He is your “people” and this creates a very serious bond.

I expect he loves you. It sure sounds like it. But I am not sure you love him. Not as a “partner” anyhow and that’s okay!!! I just don’t think you’d have created all this distance if you felt in your core that he was “the man” for you.

Read your question above. You talk about your lack of experience. It sounds like you want more experience. It sounds like you want to expand. This man allowed you to do this. He supported you when you left and that’s a good friend. So you have a good friend, and I’m betting you are a good friend. But outside of that, romanticizing the situation is probably impractical.

I’d suggest you find a place for this man in your heart, and expect him to live there always. Let the bond support you as you continue on your path. Meanwhile, look for another man. One who can hold you at night in your new land. And have faith that if you and this first guy are meant to be together, there is no doubt that the universe will make it happen.

Good luck
.

~~
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Dear Sadge,

This is going to be a terrifically difficult problem to solve. It can be done and I can tell you how but, I think you’re going to have a real challenge.

The problem is all your Sagittarius! While it’s an enormous gift to be lucky, upbeat, and buoyant, it’s a curse in exact proportion. That’s because it is exactly these same qualities causing your grief! I’ll explain.

The Sagittarian side of you is confident, even blustery (see the first part of your post). But your relationship profile is difficult, as is your emotional nature and this is the fundamental problem. Think about it. Why should you dig in the muck, when you can book a trip to an exotic land? Why hash it out with a potential partner, when you’re rollin’ in dough and more comes in every day?

But on another level, you are utterly bereft. I don’t say that to hurt you – I think you’re hurting plenty already. I just want to get you aware. Your Sadge wants to run FREE like a wild horse. And you look good on the surface doing that, but inside, beneath the surface, you’re in pure pain. You have a Moon Pluto Saturn conjunction here for starters. It’s in Libra, no less (partnerships) and in short, you’re starving for a deep emotional connection and scared to death that you’ll never have one. Or even worse, that you will!

If you do connect to someone in this way, you’re going to have to feel all this stuff and it will be walk in the park, that’s for sure. This is high level… or rather, deep DEEP feeling work. Who wants to go there, when you can book a trip online in three minutes?

So here’s the deal. You automatically go UP… sort of like a hot air balloon. But this will never emotionally satisfy you. So obviously, you’re going to want to dig into this other stuff, but when you try, guess what happens? Your optimism kicks in and you’re right back to being up and happy… but not. Sort of fucked, isn’t it?

You need a meal!! You need an EMOTIONAL feeding. And the way your chart is set up, you’re not going to bother to look for one, unless the situation is drastic, so this is what the universe will deliver.

One more thing. There is someone out there for you. There is someone who soothe you, and who you can soothe. And the pain? Well you’re still a Sadge, okay? You know all about perspective. You know this life is a journey, so keep that it in mind. That this is just one leg of a much longer journey.

~~
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pictured – Rearing horse, Leonardo da Vinci, 1503-04, Red chalk and pencil, 153 x 142 mm, Royal Library, Windsor

Dear Suffering,

I want to be able to tell you it all wraps up and turns around, just one week from now. Then I look at your chart and think, “Oh crap, she’s just getting started!”

But don’t fret!! There is a way to cope, and ultimately thrive even with Neptune transiting the T-square in your chart. If you read your post up there, you can see you’re completely out of whack. You’re out of sync with everything, but most importantly, you’re detached from your own intuition. And this has got to change.

For example, the guy. You didn’t have any inkling? Did you see some signs and override them? And what about the pregnancy – it was a total fuckin’ surprise?

And I’m not trying to blame you for your problems. This is NOT my point. My point is you have a lot things listed up there, most of them are stress-related. And I’m suggesting that the root cause of your stress is a disconnect between you and your intuition.

And this is resolvable! In fact, I think you can become excited at the prospect of working this angle. Ask yourself, “What did I know about this guy and when did I know it?” And don’t be surprised if you’re flooded with information.

At that point, the next trick. Don’t beat yourself up. You know. How could I have been so stupid… or that kind of thing. That’s a total waste of time. Just learn from this. Get yourself aware that you have intuition that is not tangible and commit to paying attention next time. And if you do this, guess what’ll happen?

Your face will clear up and your blood pressure will go down! All because you’re happy, see. Happy knowing you can navigate anything, if you will just pay attention to the subtle things around you.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Stuck,

I don’t think you’re ready to move. I’m sorry! I also hate feeling trapped and thwarted and would love to tell you to bust out. But where would you go? You don’t know! And I think you’re going to have to wait until you do.

Have you ever heard the saying, “If it’s not hell yes, then it’s hell no“? That’s the problem here – you’ve got nothing compelling you to move on.

I’ll tell you what. According to your chart, career change is not where it’s at anyway. With Saturn transiting your first house, the focus is on you and how you relate to others. I suspect that you’re looking at the career thing as a way to avoid this other stuff.

If that rings true, I suggest you keep your job and work on this situation with the unsettled boyfriend. Because I think this is the source of your real angst.

Good luck.

~~
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