Dear Challenged,

Are you sure you have a problem? Or are you are just incapable of committing and maintaining a serious relationship, because you don’t want a serious relationship? Your chart suggests the latter.

Look. People are individuals. Not everyone is cut out to buckle down and work on a relationship. Some people thrive in a safe-ish container like marriage, while other strain under any type of contract. Some people like the thrill of the chase. Others like the dreamy infatuation phase. Others want a deep connection while some others want something much more light fare.

I suggest you lay off the self-judgment. And this guy you are ‘stringing along”?

Well, people are right where they want to be, okay? You’re not running his life. He’s running his life. As far as I’m concerned, you can come and go as many times as you like. If at some point, he doesn’t like it, or he’s had enough, then I guess he’ll tell you to piss off.

Now if you feel you’re misleading him, then you might want to clarify the situation for him. But don’t miss the point here. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re doing. You’re allowed to live in whatever way makes you happy, so carry on.

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