Dear Losing,

No, I don’t think you do. What you have is a very strong desire to be partnered, coupled with a very strong tendency to delude and sacrifice yourself in relationships. Apparently this is proving to be a deadly combination.

See actually, your pattern is not “fucking up relationships”. Your pattern is hooking up with men who don’t value you. Why? Well I don’t think you don’t want to be alone and guess what? Either do I! But you must discriminate.

There is absolutely no astrological reason why someone can’t love and value you properly. This is occurring because of the choices you are making. If you want to change the tune, it’s essential you banish all traces of the idea that you’re a mean, fucked-up fixer-upper!

In other words: you are going to have to set some sort of standard around how a man is going to treat you, and you’re going to need some self-esteem to do it.

Now personally, I would go with a zero-tolerance approach. When the man says you’re fucked-up, this is your cue to say, “I’m looking for a man who doesn’t think so.” If he remains adamant about conveying this kind of sentiment about you, then you’re going to have to make a choice.

You can either decide to be his dumping ground, or you can walk. Either one will be a challenge, but the point is this dynamic is utterly and completely within your power to change.

Good luck