And then there was the guy in the sauna who expected the soldier to get up and pour water on the sensor to trigger the steam. The two of them were sitting in the sauna, sweating.

“Do you want some steam?” the guy asked the soldier in passive aggressive style. aggressively.

“Yeah,” the soldier said, not looking up.

The guy sat quietly, no doubt wondering, what the hell.  A few minutes later he asked again. “So do you want some steam?”

“Yeah,” the soldier said. “Yeah, I’d like some steam. Uh huh, some steam would be good, I said just sitting there on my ass.” (swearing  below the break)

Continue reading Voice Of Mars - Rhino In The City (Gym) Sauna

Whatever you think of me and wherever you put me, I act true to form. This means when I started writing the soldier’s son in Iraq (I used to be an Adopt-a-Platoon lady some years ago), I started telling him stories. The stories (like the soldier and P) are meandering but people do get caught up them. I write him the same way I write here, that is I mail him a barrage and then shut up for awhile.

Besides my core stories I also write him various series. He is tracking his dad’s hog status (his diet) for example but also his adaptation to Denver which the soldier considers to be a booming metropolis. The soldier really belongs in the woods or the jungle and I call these bits “Your City-fied Dad”. I have decided to start sharing some of this with you guys because it’s just hysterically funny. (swearing below the break)
Continue reading Voice Of Mars: Rhino In The City (Not PC So If This Bothers You, Stand Back!)

We watched, The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc over the weekend. Joan of Arc is the soldier’s patron saint. Apparently this was a strange choice of saint for a young machismo type boy but he said you’re supposed to pray and meditate on it which is what he did and she is who came to him.

He didn’t know anything about her at the time but has since read virtually everything ever written and when he makes a claim of this sort you can believe he’s not kidding.

We liked the movie a lot. It was tremendously moving but my favorite part was this comment he made…
Continue reading Voice Of South Node In Aries: Past Life Soldier - Joan Of Arc

“Yeah, I know,” I told the soldier who claims many, many past lives where he is always a soldier, never anything but. “You showed me you nose in bathtub,” I said. “I see your Roman nose. I see that you look like a Roman soldier / Rhino.”

“Yep, can’t help it, P. That’s what I am.”

“I think it’s funny you’ve got 3 times as much Arab in you as Italian but you do definitely look Roman.”

“That’s right. And I don’t have time for any of those Gladatorial bastards either.”

“Gladiators, P! They fought in the coliseum. But not me. I’m not doing that. I’m going to fight a WAR!”

“You and your nose.”

“Yep. Me and this schnoz here, P. We aren’t wasting time in no coliseum. Straight to war! Get me to a war and get me there now!”

The soldier was out running errand today in his uniform aka as his rhino shirt…

“Yeah, I go walking through Walgreens in this and people look at the shirt then look at me in my glasses and say, wonder if that hog can do anything.”

I laughed.

“Yeah, they wonder. They wonder if a hog like me can do anything, reminds of the time in college where I knocked the captain of the football team on his ass. I mean I knocked the piss out of him. Knocked him right out of his chair onto the floor and knocked one of his buddies too. Big fuckers these were, no one could believe it. You know the football players ate the Gods around there.” (swearing below the break)
Continue reading Voice Of Mars: Kind Of Thing You Wish You Could Have Witnessed…

The soldier and I were Cadet Kelly with Vidroid last night. It’s sort of a remake of Goldie Hawn’s Private Benjamin. Cute, privileged blond joins the Army for wake up call.

At one point Kelly is crawling under barbed wire the way they do during training. She was missing the big dance to do this because she is such a screw up. She was failing and falling behind on this exercise course so made to practice, practice, practice while the other cadets danced the night away. It started raining of course. It always rains in boot camp during these movies, have you noticed?

So now the ground under the wire is all muddy and at one point the gal who is helping Kelly learn to better crawl under barbed wire tells her that when she does this maneuver she pretends she is on the beach crawling through warm sand.

“That’s funny,” the soldier said. “When I am on the beach I dream of crawling through the mud under wire just like that.”

Vidroid and I about split a gut.

It’s been awhile but I mentioned the soldiers love of what he calls, “martial music”. He loves fighting songs and sometimes likes to have them with breakfast. That is he will turn on something rousing to have with his coffee and he almost looks in a trance as he listens… “Get’s you blood pumping, eh P?”

He says this with his eyes wide and a grin spread across his face. His whole body seems to want to jump up and stand at attention and while it does get my blood pumping, the music is not the cause. It’s the fact I live with this much testosterone that gives the thrill and I thought I’d show you what I am talking about.

This is one of his favorite pieces of martial music. He regularly puts this on. He plugs in the movie and fast forwards to the song and I have to say when he starts his day this way he generally has a good one.

Panzerlied

The soldier is painting his HUGE DENSE sawhorses and the top that goes across them to make a work table with a place to store wood beneath.

He is definitely proud of them, especially when he saw some flimsy saw horses blow over in “Night Of The Living Dead“.

“Where are you going to put that thing?” I asked.

“Where ever,” he said. “These were designed to be field expedient as they say in the military.”

“Fast to use in the field?” I said.

“Fast and easy,” he said. “Use them anywhere and easily.”

“That is provided you are Hercules and can pick them up and move them.”

“Did I tell you we don’t take wimps in the Army?”

“You aren’t concerned about your age?” I asked the soldier regarding the Fight Club.

“Oh, I am a little concerned but not that much. I plan to kick their ass in less than two minutes. I will beat them in one minute if I can.”

“One minute?”

“Yeah. Fast enough they can’t react, otherwise I could be in some trouble.”

And if that happens, what?”

“Come home and you give me a piece of meat to put on my eye,” he said.

“I have done that before,” I said. “Speedy hit you and I had to put steak on your eye.”

“Yeah, Speedy the bastard. Well do it again I guess.”

Mom, frequent commenter, step parenting specialist, low carb eater and long term supporter of the Elsa blog, “goddess” aka Dixie Vogel writes:

All this talk of Saturn had me dividing the ages by 7 to if certain events in my life were hit by Saturn energy…And sure enough, Saturn had his “time-to-grow-up-Honey” hand in the pot many times over. My Saturn energy is tied up a lot in parenting. With a square to my moon, I guess you could say I’ve got Saturn Mommy Issues.

Starting with my own Mom, appropriately enough. She was a kid who couldn’t wait to grow up and, Bam! She did it triple-time. She hung out in bars at 14, having faked her birth certificate to get an ID. My mom got married at 14, and had her first child at 15. She was overweight, and married the first guy that seemed interested. She was in a hurry to grow up and get out of the house.
Continue reading Voice Of Saturn Square The Moon… Goddess Speaks