Remember the soldier’s “hayseed” routine? (Going Undercover With The Dialect) Here is a variation. This is Venus in Gemini playin’ for sake of boredom…

“I had to mess with the girl in there, P.” We were on the phone, he’s in Alabama.

“What did you do?”

“Oh well I had fill out my name on a thing and give to her and she looked at it. Then she looked at it again. And she said, where you from? Oh, well I’m from the South. Well how do you say your name, she asked me. So I told her. How do you say your last name then? I told her. Well what kind of name is that?”

I laughed.

“Oh, it’s an Italian name, I said. Well you must have had all kinds of trouble with a name like that, she said.”

I snorted.

“Oh, you don’t know the half of it. I do have all kinds of trouble because of that name. See, I’ve got a girlfriend and her name is Elsa Panizzon. She’s Italian, see, and I want to marry her. But she has a name that’s a problem too. And she’s been Elsa Panizzon for a long time and I’m worried about it. What are we supposed to do? If we get married are we going to have to have one of those hyphenated names?”

I roared.

“And if so, whose name are we going to put first? Should we put my name first and then Panizzon? Or should we let her go first because she’s a girl and then my name can go second, after hers? By now, she was staring at me,” he said. “And of course she’s a writer so that’s another thing. What if she has to write all that out for a name? Do you think it will hurt her hand if she has to do that? Write out that big old long name like that? I am worried she may not want to write all that out all the time so I’m just not sure what we’re going to do.”

“Oh, God.”

“I’d show you a picture if I had one but I don’t have one, I told her. And by then she was just sorry she ever said a word to me. She just wanted me to shut up and go away.”

Anyone else mess with people like this? Got Gemini in your chart?

Joana (who lives in Portugal) writes: My Home Is Bigger Than Yours Home

Your soldier lived in Portugal? I’m amazed, yesterday it was the chivalry, now this…

The soldier speaks English, Spanish, Portuguese, and German, fluently. He speaks Italian (for the most part), some Russian I think. He had to learn Latin and he can get by in at least a half dozen other languages, maybe more.

He speaks English with a Southern accent and Spanish with a Spanish accent and people flip.

In fact when we’re together, people always glance at both of us and then speak Spanish to me. It’s embarrassing but then he steps in and let’s fly. It’s a chivalrous act, like getting the door for me.

“Here. Let me get that Spanish for you, Elsa”. ::blushes::

He also plays wicked games with his abilities but those are stories for another day. He does not think it is possible to be in love in Germany because the language is so bad on this front. He says if you say “I love you” in German it sounds like you just punched the person in the mouth.

He has Venus in Gemini in the 3rd house in wide opposition to Jupiter in Sagittarius in the 9th and can definitely chat you up. He lays the romantic Spanish on top the Southern gentleman thing and forget about it. You go down.

Lucky for me I am pretty much the only person on the planet he likes or I’d be in big trouble.

Are you bilingual? Trilingual? More? Got Gemini??