Togi remarks on Teenager Shoes:

“My Aries step dad wears bowties and bells on his sneakers so they jingle when he walks. So embarassing. What is that all about? Notice me, notice me!”

Togi, yeah it’s “notice me” but I have a different slant on this. Leo is here to entertain.  Even if you do nothing but laugh at me, you are still ENTERTAINED and since I have Venus in Leo, I think entertainment is freakishly important.

When I dated a painter, I dressed all the time. I always looked as if I just stepped out of a painting and also thought this was important as I was an addition to the landscape. Must we all dress down, the same, similar? I don’t think so because if it were, Venus when it got to Leo would just skip over. Same with Aquarius!

In regards to your step dad, yeah it’s embarassing but no more so than tattooing messages all over your body or getting humongous fake breasts put on your chest.  I think you just don’t like the guy!

pictured - The Young Italian, Bouguereau, Oil on canvas

Okay here’s a problem for y’all. I’ve got a gal trying to break a long-standing pattern of opting to go with Danger Boy. You know the type. He’s got an edge, might be moody, definitely non-committal, intermittently withholding, secretive, etc.

Her problem is pervasive and multifaceted. For example, she has Venus in Aquarius trine a Moon Uranus conjunct in Libra which is clearly going to resist commitment so choosing these boys serves in that fashion.

Beyond that, she has Mars in Aries opposite Pluto in Libra so she drawn to the intense challenge and perhaps the pain as well but here is what she’s asking:

Has anyone out there ever successfully weaned off Danger Boy in his various forms and established a stable partnership?  If so, please us how… and if you’re inclined, what drove you to change your ways?

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Dear Divorcing,

It sounds as if you have moved fast but I can’t see the value in judging it or worrying about it seeing as you are already in up to your neck. And with Venus in Aquarius, your chart does indicate love and attraction comes fast and unexpectedly so what the hell. It is what it is. You are here now so I wouldn’t waste time looking over my shoulder, I would however look forward.

You say she is everything you want and vice versa. I believe you, so I would advise you to continue to work on yourself and the things that dog you. Whatever personality traits that have got you in trouble in the past, get on them and stay on them and one more thing.

You are going to have to talk to your friends or they are going to do this poor gal in. In trying to protect us, our friends can be very foolish at times and it sounds as if they have copped an attitude towards the new woman. It’s up to you to set them straight.

Ask them to lose their pre-conceived notions about the speed… her age or whatever else might be bothering them and give this woman a fair shake. Tell them she is making you happy and ask they respect this and her for it. It is up to you to set the tone here, otherwise I do think she’s going to be a lamb headed for slaughter and there is nothing fair about that.

Good luck.

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Dear Cappy,

The birth time you gave me was approximate, but if it is accurate within an hour in either direction then you are actually a double Capricorn. And even if you’re not, you have a stellium in Libra… planets in Aries and what amounts to an ultra- cardinal chart.

The Cardinal signs want to control things and if you read through your post you can see the thrashing about is all due the fact you cannot be in love… or have a relationship of any kind without all kinds of compromise and accepting imperfections of all kinds and types. So this is a challenge for you just in general. To live in a world in which you are not able to dictate every dot and every i.

But what further complicates things is your Venus in Aquarius in aspect to Uranus which is also conjunct your Moon. That’s your commitment-phobia and it’s not going anywhere. So the way I see it, you’ve set up an impossible situation here. Let’s see…

Your lover lives in a different country. Money is important to you but he is poor. To fix this, you want him to give up what he does… because he is younger (?) so that you can stay home and do what you do, even though you don’t think any of this will work. Well I agree with you! It’s not going to work. It’s not going to work because there is not love in this equation. There is the idea of love but it is ungrounded - and it appears doing what it would take to ground it is impossible for you, so you get the idea.

Without fundamental change, this relationship is going up in smoke as will the next and the next. And I would apologize for saying this but hey. If you wanted otherwise you would re-think your thinking and come up with new priorities. As it is your priority is to stay safe and in control in an unsafe and uncontrollable world, consequently you are working towards a goal that can never be realized.

Good luck.

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Dear Aries,

What do I think? I think you don’t like to lose! I think I like your phrase “emotional mingle” and I think you should not worry about what astrology says about compatibility between sun signs. But most importantly, I don’t think you like to lose. And with a Leo rising, you definitely don’t want to be disrespected or ditched for another. So what to do?

Well here’s the dilemma: with Venus in Aquarius, part of you is perfectly content having an affair without rules. But the rest of you wants total control and this conflict is embedded in you. In other words, it has nothing to do with the Virgo down the street. You are going to create this scenario with anyone you get involved with over and over, until and unless you can figure out how you can reconcile these two parts of yourself. The side that wants security versus the side that wants to be free that is.

If he finds another girl, then yes. You will be the girl down the block he used to mess with. But if you find another boy, what will he be? He’ll be the boy down the block that you used to mess with! Or you could marry him but how fun would that be?

Marry him and you win, right? This way he’ll be yours not hers but then you’re stuck with him. The point being that the challenge and the lack of commitment is part of this guy’s appeal.

Good luck.
~~
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Dear Wife,

No. I don’t think your husband is purposely trying to hurt you. As a matter of fact, I don’t think he’s thinking about you at all. Go back up and read your post. I see no evidence he is thinking of anyone but himself, do you?

I think you are married to a sexually addicted narcissistic thief. But you say he’s “great” so how can I argue that?

You have Venus and Mars in Aquarius yourself. So maybe this experimental, open, sex/love relationship is just right for you. Maybe it’s interesting for you to see how far out he’ll go. And you are the only one who can decide that, but no… what he is doing is not personal to you. As a matter of fact, I can’t see how it could possibly be less personal to you.

Good luck.

~~
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