I am glad I wrote the post about my cold or at least much cooler nature. I’ve since come to really understand the rhyme and reason for the path I am on.  I will use a gross example as to why it is necessary and wise to detach and steel myself at this time which frankly, is not my strong suit. I am a deeply emotional person but get this and get it loud and clear: I have lost my daughter.

Continue reading Saturn Uranus Transit To The Moon - Mine: Detaching And Reining In Emotion

I have updated the last Pluto Moon blog in the comments. I made a phone call to one of the gals after court and she clued me into the fact I misunderstood a term used in court. You can catch up on that story in the comments if you like - This is my new thing to say. It was going to be a comment but I realized it deserved it’s own piece.

This episode in court just goes to show you how close to an edge I am and the banana peel is right there. I’ve simply got to make my way through hell in the very low light and when something like this happens and I drop suddenly… well then I drop suddenly. And when I drop suddenly I can’t help but be made aware how close I am to just spinning out into the abyss.
Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: The Edge And The Banana Peel That Sits Alongside It

And also on this topic, I was talking to pal and fellow astrologer, Claire-France today and just laying it out. Fact is, Pluto retrograde means Pluto is applying to my Moon where it will station for three months. This means it is no big surprise I am running smack into the past and I can expect more… much more of the same.

For example, I took my son to the bus stop yesterday and waited with him because it was the first day. There were several parents who knew my daughter there and another woman I couldn’t place.
Continue reading Pluto Moon Transit - Mine: The Retrograde Phase - Going Back Over The Trauma… And How Does One Survive?

I am going to Back To School Night with my son tonight which means I am going to run smack into people who know my daughter and have strong feelings about her… and about me for that matter.

I mention this other mother a lot because I relate to her. One of her children (he was 11, I think) was killed while demonstrating auto-erotic technique to his younger brother (about 9). It was just the most horrifying thing. Where should she cast her eyes when she takes her surviving son to school? What comments will she have to field and respond to? Or will she just be ignored?
Continue reading Pluto Moon Transit - Mine: To Quote Marlon Brando In Apocalypse Now, “The Horror”

I am going to see my daughter for her birthday today and I found myself telling a pal yesterday that it was a new low. I immediately had to counter that by saying it made no sense to say this or to feel this way as things have been so much worse but a day as passed and I still have the same impression. It turns out that “low” is a very strange concept.
Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: A New Low

shell writes on Will It Take 10 Years To Assimilate:

“Is that kind of like when something happens in your life that is painful, and you think you’ve learned a lesson and will be better equipped to handle it the next time around; yet when it happens again, it still hurts like hell and you have a brain fart as to how to handle it productively? And the second time around, you have baggage from the first time which only adds to the backache? Yeah, I could see how maturity would be the only thing to help. But that only goes so far, huh?”
Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: My 8th House Puts A Fine Point On Trauma - Specialists, Audiophiles, Bliss, And A Perspective On Death And Multiple Lives

I was talking to friend and astrologer, Claire-France Perez regarding today’s news…

‘Well I realized I where I was yesterday,” I said. “I’m in this place, well people don’t recover from stuff like this,” I said. I named 4 situations where this had occurred off the top of my head. “You hear it all the time. She was never the same after that. That’s what they say. She was fine, she was this and that and then this happened and she was never the same. Don’t you hear that all the time?”

“Yes you do. But you are relying on strength of character.”

“Yes, I know and I have that. I have the character and I know I can do this but I’ve got to pay attention. You don’t just get through something like this. You have to make it through. This is the kind of scenario that does most people in, I am completely aware of that and close enough to it I can see how it happens, you just slip. It’s easy for me to see why people go around the bend and I don’t even blame them if they do. I mean I am not going to do but I am telling you I don’t blame the people who do.”

Have you ever known someone who suffered a trauma from which they could not recover?

pictured - Detail of Pluto in a quadriga from the painted decoration on the throne from the Tomb of Eurydike, circa 340 BC, Vergina, Tomb of Eurydike.

moonpluto asks on the Mars Pluto opposition blog:

“Does Mars Pluto do what it does and then leave… something fresh in its place? Or does it just leave the dead bleeding on the ground?”

Doreen Gordon has a good answer:

“Well I’m not Elsa, but I will offer my own experience which is that whatever Pluto seems to take away is always ultimately transmuted into something else, fresh, new, and sparkling. Pluto rules both death and re-birth, i.e., not so much death as transformation and transmutation, like the phoenix that goes up in flames and then is hatched anew. However…it isn’t instantaneous, think of new growth after a forest fire or a volcano. The land is usually barren for many months, sometimes years, and then when you least expect it, there are beautiful green seedlings dotting the landscape. Plutonian loss is usually accompanied by profound grief. Think of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of dying. If one is willing to make the descent with Pluto, what one encounters upon the ascent is well worth it although it will not have been easy. I say this having a Scorpio Moon squared by Pluto, i.e., what author/astrologer Judy Hall calls a Hades Moon.”

I agree with Doreen but think that some are in fact left “dead and bleeding on the ground” but this is only because they refuse to process and progress. Don’t you know people who are stuck and have been for 30 years? I do. They probably still wind up as Doreen outlines but it may take another lifetime or two or three.

Others process very quickly like I do. I can see the new growth within a week for sure, if not within 24 hours. I am so adept (practiced) at processing trauma I can grieve and celebrate the birth almost simultaneously by flowing back and forth.

When it comes to trauma, are you a slow or fast processor? How does this show in your chart?

Our 8th houses commune here.

The movie played on and people continued to get killed in booby traps. There were a lot of impaled people. There were an “over lot” I thought, and there is one scene where the soldiers come upon dead people impaled or strung up on a fence.

“Now I know you’ve seen that,” I said. ‘Exactly what do you do think when you see something like that? How does it feel?”

“Oh, well it feels horrible. It feels awful when you see something like that and this is how I learned to put things aside the way I do.”

“What do you mean?” (swearing below the break) Continue reading The Soldier and P and John Wayne’s Movie, “The Green Berets”: Coping With The Psychological Trauma Of War

Dear Confused,

I think your sister has the right to feel hurt or any other way she pleases. But you did nothing wrong. The thing is: with families like yours, boundaries are often very weak. And this seems the situation here. Everybody is in everybody else’s business and nobody knows how to draw lines.

And this is frequently why families break apart the way yours did. People do it to survive. No one can seem to exist without falling into the very painful family stew so they amputate in the hopes of starting fresh and faring better. So now you’re back in and things are starting to constellate and I have some ideas that might help.

First, understand that your boundary was completely appropriate. And your Venus (money) Neptune (sacrifice) conjunction in Scorpio is a very leaky combination so I think you should be congratulated on managing to make it. And from here all you have to do is stick to guns… and hope.

Hope your sister runs through her emotions, which I am sure are complex. And hope she runs through her process whatever it may be, and she comes back to you in saner form. And there is agreement on all fronts I know of, how to best facilitate this which is nice because it makes it very simple.

The 12-steppers remind you to watch your side of the street. That means, keep yourself on track and leave others to do the same. And I have heard another analogy, about a well. Your whole family is in a well! They’re in there, man. And the idea is to get the fuck out of the well. Get yourself out!

And it’s virtually impossible to climb from the well if you keep reaching back in to grab the hands of family members in an attempt to pull them up when they do not want to go. Never mind, half of them want to pull you back in. So no! You’ve got to get yourself out and on to solid ground before you can even think about throwing them a line or no one is going to get out of there!

So with this in mind, I’d advise you stand strong and leave your sister to figure it out. Because these are facts: