The order of the zodiac… it’s not like it’s random!

Skip to Part Two - How To Solve All Problems…

Okay! So the full moon is nasty in aspect to Saturn, Mars is retrograde square Venus, etc. but I still feel transcendence is within reach via the Venus Neptune trine. Tell me that contemplating love of all humanity does not ease things just a little and if you don’t know how, take a lesson from my daughter…

Last night my kids set out to “contact the dead”. With a candle on a plastic plate between them they held hands and chanted, imploring a child in my daughter’s class who died 2 years ago to come forth. They mostly had fun scaring themselves to death and then my daughter who is prone to being sneaky (Pluto in Scorpio rising) and then blurting the truth (Jupiter in Sagittarius) confessed. She’s 12 years old.

“I once went to some wicked witch website,” she said.

“Yeah?”

“Yep and while I was there, I put a spell on him,” she said mentioning the name of someone who is cruel to her. An adult this is.

“You actually put a spell on someone?” I said, surprised. “Oh God.”

“Yeah, but it was for heart-softening,” she said looking at me as if what I thought mattered.

“You mean you wanted to soften his heart? To melt him so he wasn’t so mean?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” I was stunned. Oh, well that sounds like you had a good idea. That was actually nice, he could use such a thing, that was a favor.”

I say, soften your heart so some kid doesn’t have to do it for you. Uranus goes direct in Pisces, it can be a revolution.

Dear Virgo,

I feel very bad for you. I wish I had better news but I don’t think this guy is coming back. I don’t know why he changed his mind about the relationship and I don’t think you are going to get him to give you a straight answer either.

This is not necessarily because he is secretive or wants to withhold something, though this may be the case. He may embarrassed or ashamed of his reason. Perhaps he met someone else he is interested in and does not want to admit it or feels it would hurt you if you found out.

It could be something like this but it could just as easy be that he just isn’t feeling it the way he has in the past and the reasons why that may be are endless, and not necessarily related to you.

He could be falling into a depression, seeing his energy sink for example which would make it harder to maintain a relationship at a distance. He may in a process of evaluating his life and come to discover his path is going to take him in an alternative direction. I could go on and on with the possibilities but it’s pointless. Fact is he’s left you in a terrible mess. You’ve been abandoned with no real explanation and anyone who has ever experienced such a thing can tell you the level of havoc this can wreak, so my effort will be focused on trying to help you limit the damage.

Now that you can think about this, you’re going to have to because you won’t be able stop yourself but ultimately you are not going to be able to resolved it in this way. To resolve this in your heart and mind and soul you will have to transcend him, and the situation at some point and I know that sounds impossible but it is not.

It is impossible as long as you fret over what, why, how, etc. It is impossible as long as you try to rewind things or bring him back but as soon as you start telling yourself, that he is an individual and you are and individual and he can do as he damned well pleases, you will be on the opposite path, one that will lead you to a place where you can live with this.

Final transcendence of the experience sounds something like this: “We were in each other’s lives for a reason and we are apart now for a reason. And though I don’t know what that reason is, I am sure it is a good one.”

And after you say that to yourself, fall back on your faith: that thing inside you that knows things always work out for the best… eventually.

I am so, so, sorry.

Good luck.

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Besides her happy nurse, my doctor is pretty grand. We like each other and always end up exchanging information and perspective. This time I told her about the happiness study / the set point of happiness (The Psychology of Happiness) and she told me about some of her patients.

“I have some people who have just been through the ringer. They’ve had cancer or something like that so they’ve really just seen so many doctors and been through so much. And they’ll be in for something and say I’m running late and they have to wait. They are always so nice. And I just figured it was because they’d seen so many doctors. But maybe they’re just that kind of person,” she said.

“That’s what I think.”

“Because others come in and there is nothing wrong with them. Something minor and they are just awful. And I want to say, what? Can’t you see I am taking care you here?”

I told her I used to think that people who faced life-threatening illness or had been in a terrible accident always had an enhanced perspective but I’d learned this was not the case.

“When something like that happens… when a life goes acute all it does is make the person more of who they are. So if they are transcendent, they will become more transcendent. But if they are otherwise, they will become more of whatever that is. And I think you can change your tendency through effort but I used to think that a heart opening was automatic after intense experience. Boy was that misguided. Happy people stay that way and miserable people stay their way. So if I ever come in here whining?”

“I won’t worry about you. I’ll say, oh she’s going to be fine. Her set point is high.”

“Yeah. I guess I’ll be smiling just like this when they put me in my grave.”

What in your chart do your blame or credit?