A reader asks:

“In the midst of it all, how relevant is our sun sign anyways?”

I know it is fashionable to do away with this or that… the basics of astrology, but I think the Sun sign is enormously important, provided you want to shine, create and be vitally alive, that is. But don’t take my word for it. Read Liz Greene’s freakishly good book, Apollo’s Chariot: The Meaning Of The Astrological Sun and you will never ask yourself this question again. I couldn’t believe this book.

It’s a total inspiration for artists or anyone who does creative work of any kind which by all rights should be each of us. It is so good and so potent I wondered throughout if an artistic person who knew no astrology at all might be able to access it and I think this is the case. It’s sort of like the “truth”. Everyone can recognize the truth because it resonates and this book has that quality.

And I never write in books or highlight them. Being a lifelong heavy user of the public library, I think this is sacrilegious. But I do bookmark bits I want to go back and read again and it did not take me long to notice I was bookmarking every page of this book. ::smirks:: Jeez, Elsa. Guess you’re going to read this one twice.

Bottom line, the Sun is your creative self. I can’t imagine discounting this. It seems more sensible to know everything you can about the Sun in your chart.

Anyone else?

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Dear Helpless,

You may be in momentary shock… this would certainly be understandable but you are not helpless. In fact your chart is strongly Cardinal (commanding) and I have no doubt you will ultimately assimilate this information, decide what you’re going to do and then execute as if a general in the army.

So just know that. Know you’re in there somewhere and you’ll be back. And what I’ll do is parse this situation for you, feeling confident you’ll find your way once you have the information ordered.

Now regarding your husband, obviously he is a liar and a very good liar at that. He has Neptune square his Sun (and his Moon) and he successfully obscured the reality of who he is. And you should probably brace for more information to come to light, because this is usually what happens in a situation like this.

As to what is driving him, I can’t say for sure. But he has a Leo Moon and he clearly needs SCADS of attention. Because he sounds like he gets a good deal at home, yet it’s no where near enough. And based on this, I would say there is something pathological about his behavior. He’s driven, you could say.

You could probably compare this to a drug addict or a drunk. A drunk drinks and in the throes of their addiction tries to convince others that ‘everybody does it…” Everybody gets falling down drunk. Everybody cheats. Which is erroneous of course.

So here’s the thing. You really are a competent person to the extreme. And I think you’d be well advised not to allow him to drag you into his skewed perception of reality, which he is clearly trying to do. And I’ll give you a hard core example of this for reference.

Last week I saw five minutes of the Oprah Winfrey show on NAMBLA (North American Man Boy Love Association) which is all I could stomach. These men who want to have sex with boys have a club. And they actually believe that 8 and 9 and 10 year old boys are out there, just dying to have sex with them… a bunch of pot-bellied pimply pig men in their 50’s, if only parents and the government weren’t so damned oppressive. And they meet with each other and reinforce this freakishly distorted reality.

And you get the idea. Don’t let your husband sell you a NAMBLA type reality. Fact is, what he is doing is wrong and I expect he will need copious amounts of help to stop. This is assuming he wants to stop, which it does not seem to be the case. I’m sorry.

To answer your question specifically, you did nothing wrong and as for my advice… if it were me, I would be looking for the door and once I found it, I’d be through it just as swiftly as possible. And don’t worry about your ability to replace him either, because women who treat men the way you do are always in demand.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Libra,

I am going to be very candid with you. I don’t think you’ve got the right man. When you find “The One”, you will not have these kinds of questions.

“The One” will deliver a good deal of what you want and need, organically. This is as opposed to you having to outline and dictate it all. When you find “The One” you will not be training yourself, straining yourself. “The One” will not leave you struggling to not be seen as “overbearing” or any other thing.

My friend satori put it best when she told me if you have to cut off your toes to get your foot into the slipper, then you’ve got the wrong man! So I’m sorry. I know there are things you like about this guy but if you pay attention… the main thing he is doing is making you miserable. And you have a Leo Moon, you know.

So besides your stellium in Libra (relationship is everything), your Leo Moon needs a good deal of attention and two times a week just isn’t gonna cut it. So do yourself a favor. Don’t try to cajole a third day out of this guy. Makes more sense to find a man who gives you four or five or six days a week of his own volition.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Worried,

It does no good to worry about anything, ever. This is a general fact. It won’t change the outcome of anything so consequently, it’s a total waste of time. Time you could spend loving your man! So consider this overall… but specific to your situation, I read it much differently than you do.

First, though I see your man has Venus in Aquarius, it is exactly trine Saturn and I’m not sure I would characterize him as commitment phobic. After all, he’s been with you for three years which is an epic long time for a true commitment phobic (like me). Granted, he may be a little squiggly around marriage. He may prefer to innovate and make his own relationship rules but if anything, Saturn going into the 7th house is going to help your cause not hurt it.

A Saturn transit through the 7th house pressures a person to make (or break commitments), and define their relationships. And it’s common enough, this means getting married. How better to cement your commitment?

In other cases it will mark the end of a relationship, but only when the thing all wrong and not working in the first place. If the relationship is dead wood, and no growth for him, he will absolutely leave. If the relationship is good for him and supports him, he will have an enormous struggle if he tries to bolt and what his parents think will be irrelevant.

So the bottom line, I think you’re looking pretty good here. If I were you, I’d work to check my fear because it’s no fun being around people who are perennially frightened.

Further that, I would do my best not to take a position opposite his parents if you can possibly manage. Because he has a nasty opposition to his Sun and Moon (Mom and Dad) in his chart and if you get in that, you’re going to be screwed. Instead be Venus (love) in Aquarius which is basically a friend who loves him, and leave him to deal with his family on his own.

And beyond this, I would be patient and just trust the universe to sort this out. Having faith the outcome is going to be in everyone’s best interest, because this is exactly what will happen.

Good luck.

~~
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Dear Sex Drive,

I have to disagree with you. Considering you are a Double Leo with Venus in Leo, I think your appearance is actually acutely important to you. And if you doubt that, then just ask yourself why you mentioned it in a post about sex?

Now it sounds like you used to be Queen and further, this is your natural state! And since you no longer dress, take care of yourself or hold court (socialize), I would have to say you are depressed - if not in a clinical sense, then in a sense sense. You know. Where’s your shine, babe? You need to get it back. Now here’s the astrology, which is brilliantly clear by the way:

Saturn is in Leo… transiting conjunct your Sun, Moon and Venus. That’s a hard core transit and I’ll tell you something else.

You have Saturn (suppress) square your Mars (sex drive) in your natal chart and the transit of Saturn has brought this out to live, big time. And I can tell you right now, if you don’t work at this… well it’s going to get worse and worse and worse and lead you right into depression. However, do not despair!

Because as soon as you commit (Saturn) to action (Mars), you will see immediate relief. And the more you “act”, regardless of how difficult it is, the more relief you’ll see. And if you really kick ass, guess what?

End of this Saturn transit: you, your ego, your vanity, your love, and your emotional life will be in the best shape it’s seen in almost 30 years!

So here’s my advice. Get on top the weight gain and for godsakes go shopping. You need to look good (Leo) if you want to feel good (Moon), be vitally alive (Sun) and love well (Venus).

Good luck.

~~
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For the record, this is the most commented series of all time and thanks for that. There are 26 comments on the first blog alone, check ‘em out!

So I figured I’d pull up something I wrote in 2002, part of another series, “Astrology Is Not Flat”. I was trying to explain the difference between a person’s ascendant and their sun sign. Here it is:

On one level you can consider the ascendant, it’s sign and it’s aspects as a person’s veneer. By that I mean, say you’re at a party, and you see someone who appears accepting to one and all. A non-judgmental sort. That same person leaves the party, and once in the car they let loose with a barrage of scathing criticism of everyone in the room.

Well, well, well… What have we here?

In the other direction, another person may give the impression of being stiff and stuffy and uptight at the same party, but in fact if you were to get to know them, you may find them, well… just about anything. Fascinating. Funny. Intuitive. Warm. Broadminded. You get the picture.

The ascendant, it’s sign and it’s aspects, also show your appearance, which follows. How you look is part of the package of the self that shows up first. And everyone knows someone can look ravishing but become repulsive once you get to know them.

This would be a result of a lot of Venus action on the ascendant, where the rest of the chart tells a different story. The ascendant show how you present. The sun is your identity.

I have Jupiter rising and present with a big grin, a big mouth. But my Sun is much more “none of your business” so if you approach me at a party wanting to talk to my faÆ’

Dear Sadge,

The main thing I think you should do is get off your own ass. You are being very hard on yourself. You are being so judgmental of yourself, you can’t think straight. So I am going to think straight for you and you try to get on board, okay?

Two friends are plenty for some people and nowhere near enough for others. If you are an inner circle type person like I am, less is more. I would rather have a couple of intimate friendships then friends coming out of ears. Other people feel otherwise. So this is the main thing to get.

Never mind how many friends the people around you have because it’s completely irrelevant. What is your personal style friendship? What does your authentic self need?

The stellium in Scorpio in your chart suggests you want intense and intimate connections with others and fact is, it’s not possible to maintain 10 friendships of this ilk. So just think about that. And compare to someone much more light fare. Someone who can juggle ten friends, or twenty friends a day. Is that you? I don’t think so.

Now your Sagittarius Sun is more social. However, you have Saturn conjunct your Sun which thwarts your gregarious nature. This is also the reason you’re so hard on yourself and that has to stop. But the energy exists. You can’t get rid of it, but you can manifest it in a way that is constructive and I can tell you how.

If you will learn about and define yourself as described above, well these are Saturn concepts. And from there, you can take responsibility (also Saturn) for getting your needs met in relationship and there you go. No more problem. But you must get off you own ass, okay? Otherwise you’re going nowhere.

Good luck.

~~
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