I love this topic. Denial is one of those things that has a bad rap. No one is ever supposed to be in denial even though we all are at various times about various things for various very important reasons.

This goes along with the discussion a couple days ago about coping in crisis. I have found you are often better off not knowing it all as “all” when there is so much going on because if you could did it would overwhelm the psyche.

As an example, I have recently come through intense crisis. And apparently I gained some weight in the midst of this but lucky for me I did not know it. Everyone else knew it but I blurred it out because I just could not cope with even one more thing at the time. As things eased, I was able to see myself in the mirror and get back on track but boy am I grateful this was not shoved in my face at the time.

This subject is relevant now with Mercury (logic) in Pisces, a sign accused of denial but “denial” with the judgment taken out might be called, faith in God or faith in the universe which so many recommend. Because if it belongs in your lap it will surely wind up there eventually so here is this story about the soldier again, this time with a footnote below…

Eventually the soldier found out unequivocally that his wife was cheating on him and he divorced her immediately as he always said he would. “If I were to find out for sure… but I was never sure.” Had he faced this earlier his life would have been different for sure but who says it would have been better? And what about his son? The soldier’s son grew up with 2 parents courtesy the soldier’s denial. Does Saturn in Virgo want to judge that?

Update - The soldier signed on my blog last night with his friends. He watched the video below and got himself stunned. Stunned like a Taurus, a bull hit in the head with a frying pan and it’s easy to see why.

He has not heard anyone talk about his life like this before, plus it’s me. It apparently blew his gaskets. He could not touch me, this bothered him and he said he now knows what it feels like to be Joe DiMaggio when Marilyn Monroe gets her dress blown up over the vent. Not good!

Anyway, his friends are old friends and they know his ex-wife so strange for everyone involved I would say, to hear me talking about this on some kind of little TV. Life is odd. What a way for things to come back to you. He is reeling today (but happy) and plans to avoid reading my blog in the future except and unless he feels like being hit by a brick.

The original blog:

I think this is my best video yet. Virgo and Pisces. These signs are inexplicably linked whether you like it or not.

hitchhiker72 writes:

“I’ve asked this before, and I’m still wondering - anyone know men who snoop? Why do women need to do this?”

Good question! Add the astrology if you have some.

Submit a question to “Ask the collective”

On the topic of snooping, this is from today’s PostSecret blog. I read it and felt sorry for the gal but then I realized it’s all about her.

She is aware she cost herself but what about what she did to him?

Can you see the other person’s perspective? Got Libra?

I’ve also been thinking about the snooping post (Do You Snoop?) this statement in particular:

“…and last I trust the universe will let me know what I need to know… at the time I need to know it.”

I really believe this and I think when there are things I don’t know or I don’t find out, it is most likely in my best interest. I meet so much ugly stuff as it is, I can’t imagine looking for more, or for evidence to validate a negative reality. Continue reading Do You Snoop? Astrology, Psychology, ‘Splain To Lucy

Mercury is in Scorpio and let’s see. First we have someone tracking a reader via RemoteSpy.com and then another reader writes in to cop to the fact she accesses a co-workers email to monitor her workplace affairs.

Personally, I don’t snoop. I am so hard core with this, you’d think I’d have burned doing it or something but that never happened. Witness this:

The AMF and I used to separate for short periods from time to time. He would draft letters to me which he would never send. And we’d get back together and there they’d be.

I used his computer all the time. I used it more than he did and there would be some new document on his desktop named, ‘Elsa”. Did I open it? Of course not.

“He probably wanted you to read whatever was in there,” a friend remarked.

“No he didn’t. He knows me. He knows me well enough to know I’m not going to click that thing. If he wants me to read it, he can open it himself and send it to me. Or he can tell me there is something on my desktop I want you to read. Otherwise, forget about it…”

I realize this is extreme restraint but fact is it takes (or took) no restraint at all. I respect a person’s privacy but way more than that, I respect myself. I like being trusted and I like be able to know that even if I’m not trusted, I can be.

I also cop to having some fear what I might find if I go poking around and last I trust the universe will let me know what I need to know… at the time I need to know it.

You?

Where is your Mercury and how is it aspected?

Dear Aries,

I think it’s terrific you are on to this at 21 years old and I will try to help. It appears your boyfriend has a problem with porn and is in denial about the situation and there is virtually nothing you can do about it so let’s focus on you.

You have a snooping problem. With Mars conjunct Neptune in your chart, you have a sneaking problem that probably stems from deep feelings of insecurity. And while I don’t think you are exacerbating his problem, I do think his habit is probably feeding yours.

That does not mean you won’t have the problem with someone else because we already know you will. I am just wanting you to see how the two addicts are feeding each other. In other words if you want to get “sober” as in learn not to snoop, the odds of pulling this off are going to be very low if you are partnered with this man.

Just imagine the various scenarios you could be in if you wanted to try and fight your craving to snoop around. You know. The rush you get invading another person’s privacy. The satisfaction you get by proving they in fact SUCK, just as you imagined. Would you have an easier time doing that with this guy, or the one before him that could be trusted?

The answer is obvious so if you want to try to find a way out of this (and I definitely think you should), then I would cut ties with the other addict who is basically enabling you. And when you find yourself struggling, you are going to have to do like any other addict who manages to curb their addiction. You are going to have to root around for what is driving you on a deep level and bring it to light. Get a therapist to help if you can. It would be a terrific investment at your age and I have a lot of faith in you because it’s a rare 21 year old who can and will admit this:

“And still I snooped through everything, his phone, dressers, computer, etc. Never found anything and yet it was like I wanted to…’

That’s key right there. Men are dogs and you want to prove it. You want this validated.

Who told you that? Figure out who told you that and nuke them in your psyche so you can heal. There are scads of people who can be trusted. There are many, many, many people you can trust and half of them are men.

Good luck.

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