When I wrote today’s advice to the (self-proclaimed) asexual, I didn’t expect a debate but we have one and it’s lively. I guess Venus in Libra loves a debate and with Mercury in Scorpio, it may as well be about sex!

The question being tossed around is this: Is the lack of interest in having sex pathological? I don’t think it is. I have met people like this… in fact I wrote a whole chapter in my book about one of them and I vividly remember that guy. There was nothing wrong with him at all. I spent a lot of time with him. I looked him in the eye. I even met his mother and just plain wasn’t interested in sex.

He wasn’t gay… I checked that out and ultimately I just had to learn that not everyone is me! Just because I am inordinately interested in sex does not mean other people match my fervor and in fact it makes sense that people like me and people like that guy or the gal in today’s blog balance each other (Libra) in nature.

As for this causing problems in relationship, obviously it does. Both extremes cause problems, I can tell you firsthand. Because while I have been kept for my sex drive, I have also been left because of it, so there!

I have Mars (sex drive) conjunct Mercury in the 9th house (expansive) and it runs free. I have a nearly constant awareness of sex and an accompanying urge to have some. My sex drive is much like a man’s (as I understand it) because I sort of scan around all the time having the sex appeal of other people register inside me.

At times it is intense enough to be annoying. For example sometimes I go in the gym and I am just sick of all the men who look good in there because it’s distracting. I am distracted with desire to mount them as they pass by when I would really like this kind of thing off my mind. It’s like having your lower chakra always on and I have been wondering lately about other people’s experience, with the astrology attached.

For example, what it you have Mars attached to Saturn, rather than Jupiter (9th house) like I do. Does this mean your sex drive is squelched? Do you repress your sex drive the way mine is irrepressible?

Or alternately, is your sex drive even worse than mine because it is restrained? So which is it?

Where is your Mars and how is it aspected?

Dear Wife,

Yes, I have a pretty good guess. I don’t think the lack of sex has anything to do with you. I think your husband is feeling his age. He is in his mid-fifties and you are nearly 20 years younger and I think he’s slowing down.

However, I don’t know that he won’t fire back up. He’s getting hit hard with the Saturn Neptune transit to his Sun and its ruler Pluto and I imagine he feels low energy and just tired and dissipated in general. And with a stellium in Pisces, I am sure you understand.

Things may very well improve late summer when this thing breaks apart but I still think this situation is a heads up for you. Because Saturn is about to enter Virgo opposing your Venus in Pisces… and the reality (Saturn) that you are married (Venus) to an older man (Saturn) may become the issue of the day.

Good luck.

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