Dear Taurean,

I am throwing this up as an open question because it hits so close to home. I have a similar problem in that I am constantly grinning which may seem far less problematic but I would not be so sure. In your case, people reject you based on a first impression and in my case I am also rejected, once people discern I am not the grinning fool I appear to be and that they wanted to know.

As for the astrology, your problem is clearly shown in your chart. A person’s first handshake is shown by the ascendant and with Saturn and Pluto conjunct yours… intimidation is the word of the day. And I am hoping someone around here might have some insight for you. For example someone might come along and tell you how your chart will progress and your problem will resolve but this has not been my experience. I am still grinning, see? I have no way to not grin when I meet someone, even though I may be thinking or feeling who knows what. So I will advise you based on this.

Continue reading Open Question - His Initial Impression Is Off-Putting: Astrology-Based Advice

Shell writes:

“Now, about telling somebody the truth about their chart so things are not sugar coated…..
I have Scorpio ASC and I’ve read on 3 separate occasions from 3 separate sources that Scorpio ASC usually marry twice because they are widowed with their first spouse. This has bothered me to no end! I’ve even cried about it a few times. I know we will all lose people in our lives but the thought that I may be predisposed to lose my best friend KILLS me. I wish I had never read about it…and I wasn’t looking for it, it just was there, as I was reading. Elsa, or anybody, how do you not let this get you down? It’s easier said than done.”

Shell - Personally I would discount theses sources, all three of them. There are a lot people not equipped to read a chart or counsel people and I can tell you right now that you ran into 3 of them.

First of all, there is no way they can know that. Secondly, it is simply not true. Taurus on the descendant makes a Venus house, Venus ruled. That’s good. Further, Taurus is stable and smacks of a permanent love. Taurus is not involved with death!

It is very important to scrutinize the source of your information and in your case… well I’d say that you have been hosed. Someone was being dramatic at your expense.

Scorpio rising? I say purge! Write their names on a piece of paper and burn it if you have to. This stuff is trash. It’s an infection and it does not belong in your psyche so get it out and get it out now.

Anyone else?

It’s my daughter, she’s ridiculous. She’s 11 years old but in 7th grade so with older kids and today I dyed her hair jet black (it’s usually dark brown) to go with her new emo haircut.

She’s also got her fingernails painted black and she is writing dark poetry… lots of death and knives and suicide in it, however she can’t seem to read it without grinning.

I told her to go ahead with her black eyeliner when she reminded me, “you had fads when you were a kid” so here she is all decked out, stack of suicide poems in her hand, looking as morose as Pluto in Scorpio rising can look which is pretty morose. But it only lasts a few seconds.

Because my daughter has a 9th house (happy) Moon trine Jupiter (happy) in Sagittarius (happy). And I’m sorry but I don’t care how deep your soul is, with a configuration like that you are only going to be able to dip down so far and for so long.

So this morning, she’s got her look together (her costume, because her Moon is in Leo) and I find her in her room with her brother watching this: “Tickle Me Emo” which mocks the whole emo movement. And they’re both laughing their heads off at Elmo, who has gone emo. I watched this with them… it’s funny and clever. He lives on Depress-esame Street.

“Yep, that’s what happened to your sister,” I said to my son. “Tell everyone your sister has gone emo along with Elmo and you’re sure to follow because black hair is just so nice.”

They both roared.

“Okay,” I said as I stood up to leave. “I’ll help you two out of your depression and your suicidal tendencies (my son has the Moon Jupiter opposition… he ain’t going down either) just as soon as you quit laughing. Call me if you need me, I’ll be around. I’ll be here and catch you two right before you hit the grave so if you get close, you just let me know.”

Two snorts.

Isn’t astrology a trip?

“Oh, she gave me a dirty look,” my daughter explained. She’s an 11-year-old, 7th grader.

“She did.”

“Yeah, but I don’t care about that.”

“Why not?”

“What’s a dirty look? I’m the one with the reeeeal evil eye,” she said with a chuckle.

“You think that?”

“Yes, Mom. I’m the one with Scorpio rising. I’m the one with Pluto on my ascendant.”

“Okay, well that’s true. That girl has nothing on you, does she?”

“No. If you want to see a real dirty look, you ought to see mine.”

I just laughed. “Did you give her a dirty look back?”

“No. I could have but I just didn’t feel like it.”

“Having a good day?”

“Yeah. And I just don’t care about her.”

Can anyone relate?

Pluto is transiting my Moon and with me, transits always manifest in ways that are textbook. Like when Saturn transited conjunct my natal Venus, I got in contact with my lovers from 28 years ago… men I met the last time Saturn transited my natal Venus.

So anyway, Pluto has to do with death, and the Moon, mothering among other things, and when Pluto was station on my Moon last year, I nearly lost my daughter. Repeatedly. As a matter of fact, she circled the drain, threatening to die for about 18 months as I looked on in horror.

And then one day I was driving home from the hospital when it occurred to me, I had made a transition. Because you know how parents say, “I could stand anything, as long as nothing happens to one of my kids. If I lost one of my kids, I don’t think I could survive…” In the midst of my daughter’s crisis I realized what a luxury it is to be able to say that.

I had no idea what a fortune, until I walked by the sign in the hospital offering free knitting lessons and supplies to parents camped out at the hospital because their child was there, fighting for his or her life. And once you’re in a situation like that, you don’t get to say that this kind of thing anymore. You lose your privilege to say you would not be able to deal, because now your kid is sick and dealing all right. Your child’s mortality is in your face.

And I had been to the hospital that day to see my daughter. And before I could see her, a nurse took me into a room to talk to me. She shut the door, sat down across from me and told me point blank my daughter had gone around the bend and she would not likely make it back.

I just stared at her. I had a pure poker face on, I’m sure. What do you say to something like that? What is she saying, I wondered. Why is she telling me this? Could she possibly have said what I think she just said?

My daughter was 10 years old and here was this woman looking me right in the eye, telling me she was gone. I wanted to kill her that second, but I wasn’t sure. She had information and I wanted that too so I sat still and showed no emotion. Obviously I need to know this, right? Why else would she be telling me this? Is this what hospitals do?

“I have an 11 year old daughter myself,” the nurse explained. “If something like this happened to her, I don’t know. I don’t think I could stand it,” she said.

I just stared at her for a few. I couldn’t believe she said what she’d just said. It seemed completely inappropriate. Was this supposed to help me? Should we be glad it’s my daughter not hers, because I can handle it?

I kept my composure and chose my words very carefully. “You’re telling me she’s gone and she’s not coming back?” I asked. “Is that what you said?”

The nurse nodded solemnly.

“Okay,” I said. I wanted to get this woman out of my life before I hit her. “Can I see her now, please?”

So anyway, some months later, my daughter did pull up. She has Pluto in Scorpio conjunct her ascendant and a God given ability to come back from the brink. But during this time, I had to face the possibility of losing her, over and over and over and over… and over. Tumbling, tumbling, tumbling, tumbling.

And it’s a bit like crossing over to the dark side. Because I can no longer say naive things like “I could never stand it if something happened to one of my kids…” Because when this is in your face , you are made to face the fact that if your kid dies, you won’t have a choice but to endure it! You won’t have a choice but to go through the void and valley and whatever else it is, and survive your child. And ultimately thrive. Because in my case, I have another child. And what shall I do? Go down and take him with me?

And finding out that you will go on, even if your child does not is a very ugly thing. It’s unfathomable… that’s a Pluto word. So I don’t know.If you’re able to say things like, “I could bear anything but losing my child,” I say you should thank your lucky stars. And now?

Well at this point, Pluto is again transiting very near my Moon. And the situation with my daughter which has been dormant while Pluto transited retrograde, then turned direct to move through it’s shadow is now moving forward. And these feelings surface, forcing me to revisit them and prepare to move beyond the point we left off last time when Pluto turned retrograde and everything receded. And I am feeling receptive to the experience and glad of it because dread is such a wasted emotion.

Are you a parent? Have you lost a child or come very close? Tell us.

pictured - Detail of Pluto in a quadriga from the painted decoration on the throne from the Tomb of Eurydike, circa 340 BC, Vergina, Tomb of Eurydike.