max writes on the Defending Denial blog:

“Not snooping seems reasonable; I try to practice that myself (as part of the Golden Rule), but sometimes the alarm is triggered and the defense grid goes up.”

max
[’Woot.’]

I read that and realized in the same circumstance my defense grid goes down, in effect flooding the person.

It is a Saturn Neptune defense.

What does your “defense grid” look like, how does it function? Where is Saturn in your chart?

Amber writes:

“I am interested in your ‘pull the plug’ strategy. Reading over the years it seems that it’s a strategy that you have used (have had to use) more than once, sometimes with more drastic results than others. (In fact in a mild case you used it on me - I wrote you an email in which a joke I made was offensive, and you unsubscribed from my blog without telling me I had offended you! I had no idea!). I do not think I would be capable of leaving a situation without explanation. I do leave situations in a ‘no looking back’ manner, but only after outlining why. I need to communicate. I was wondering, is it energy conservation- or is there another reason why you pull the plug so abruptly?”
Continue reading Astrology And Various Methods Of Protecting And Defending Yourself

ElsaElsa - The Astrology Blog… it’s all an illusion

The other day my friend, satori was telling me what she wanted to be when she younger, 17 or 18 years old. She wanted to go the Air Force Academy as a matter of fact which struck me as surreal.

“I just can’t see it,” I said. “I see no trace of anything like that in your personality or your character today.”

“I can’t see it either,” she said sounding very Pisces. “But wouldn’t it be fun if you could look in on how your life would be right now had you made these other decisions? Not so you could feel bad but just to see.”

It was an interesting question and what occurred to me surprised me.

“You know, I don’t think it would make a difference. I think no matter what I’d have done or had been done to me, I am pretty sure I would feel exactly the way I do know. I seem to have a reality and it doesn’t seem to matter much what is going on. I always feel exactly like myself. Oh, if I’d have done this then that? If I’d have done this then the other would be. I bet I would feel exactly the way I do no matter what decision I’d made…”

I consider this a manifestation of my Saturn Neptune-ishness. My integrity (Saturn) is ethereal and transcends (Neptune) whatever.

How do you feel if you think about having the ability to see yourself further down the path you didn’t take? Any idea the astrology?

This is for fellow Italian astrologer, Maddalena at continued from the Italy / Italians blog...

“That’s the spirit, P,” the soldier said. “Give Italians someone to hate or be pissed off at and you’re doing them a favor.”

“Italians hate people, you think? Yeah, I guess that’s right.”

“Yeah, hell yeah it’s right. Italians love to hate and feud. Italians will hate you into the next century. Just add your name to the list son of bitch! The very long list that every Italian has.”

I laughed. “Yeah, it’s true. I have a list but then I forget who is on it.” (Saturn Neptune)

“I know you do but I don’t. I don’t forget shit. (Taurus) I know every bastard on my list by first last and middle name plus every other thing that I know about them that I will never forget. You get on my list, you stay on it and as for your list; don’t worry about it, P. I will keep track of your list and my list.”

“You will remember who I hate and remind me?”

“Uh huh.”

“Okay then.”

Do you have a list?

There is a new gal showing up in the steam room right around the time I go. She’s super friendly, I’ve seen her a few times now.

“Is it true you burn fat by sitting in here?” she asked.

I did a double take. “No I don’t think so,” I said.

“Well I lost ten pounds last week just sitting in here.”

I was grateful for the steam, I knew she would not be able to make out the look of startlement on my face.

“Well that’s amazing,” I said. “Just amazing, good for you.”

“Yeah, I’m really happy.”

“Me too. I’m happy too,” I said lying down so I could burn even more fat.

My natal Mars Mercury in the blunt 9th house sprung to life to defend (Saturn) against my fake alcoholism (Neptune).

First a boast:

“Drinking problem, huh? Well how about you ask anyone in the world if I am drunk, other than the person who made this claim and see what you find out? That ought to be amusing,” I said.

And then another boast:

“Well I’ll tell you something. For someone who drinks all the time I sure do show up sober all the time, have you noticed? I have been to all these meetings with you people and I’ve yet to slur a word. Why do you think that is? What might explain my sobriety? Can we think of anything? Jeez, man. I think you’ve been bamboozled, what do you think?” I challenged.

Problem is there are a good number of people (more civilized than me) who would imagine  a person would only talk to authority figures who hold your fate in their hands in such a manner after they’d had a couple drinks.

::smiles::

I stopped short of asking them if they would like to smell my breath although it did cross my mind.

pictured - The Absinth Drinker, 1901, Pablo Picasso

I was writing in the comments on the last video - I am having a Saturn transit which triggers natal Saturn which is tied to Neptune. The video illustrates one of the ways my public image (Saturn) has been undermined (Neptune).

I just caught myself writing this to HQ, where Saturn = fear and reality, Neptune = confusion.

“I have thought of this a million times. So is it a needless worry, a real concern or is there no way to know?”

And now I wait for reality to arrive in my mailbox. Reality (Saturn) which I may or may not believe (Neptune).

Can anyone relate?

Saturn is in Virgo and speaking of editing, my book and limiting what you say, a few years ago HQ was helping me put it together. The book is about my life and he came up with the structure for it which I could have never managed on my own courtesy my Saturn Neptune inclinations. Structure to me is just what you read on this blog. It’s all connected - isn’t it obvious? Ha ha ha.

Continue reading Saturn In Virgo… And La La La, Different Perspectives

Dina writes:

“I definitely noticed your keeping your life secret from the blog, Elsa. You keep saying that difficult things are going on in your life but never really talk about them. Plus you keep your music tastes secret. I remember the reason you gave for that. It’s because it’s precious to you right?

I know it’s kind of trivial and unfeeling to say it but.. I’m curious about what you’re keeping secret! :I’m especially curious about your past and your book.”

Dina - our perceptions are so different. I talk about my life non-stop on this blog. I keep some things secret (or private) for a variety of reasons which generally speaking, I reveal.

Continue reading Astrology And Secrets - It’s Neptune Again, Various Other Sundries: Elsa P Attempts To Explain