“Hey Elsa, All else being equal, how would you feel about marrying someone with Saturn in the Seventh?”

Boy, that’s a good question. For people new to astrology, traditional interpretation of Saturn in the 7th house (or any other Venus Saturn exchange) is burden in relationship. There are other manifestations of course. People marry older partners, controlling partners, the marriage is a business deal and I could go on and on. Fact is whatever the case, some restriction is given.

Now before you go swearing off anyone with a Venus Saturn exchange in their chart (or stabbing yourself if it’s you with Saturn in the 7th) just consider the alternative. How would you like a partner with no restrictions, hmm? How about he or she runs amok all over the land? Sound any better? I didn’t think so.
Continue reading Open Question: Saturn In The 7th House… Would You Marry Them? How Popular Is Real Love Anyway?

Dear Motivated,

Yes I have advice. Slow down. Slow way, way, down and I don’t mean this in a way that is condescending. And I don’t mean it as if “she’s going to grow up or out of this… or the relationship is going end sort of way.” I mean it as an astrologer looking at your chart. Slow down in love because this is the speed that is organic to you.

Now I don’t care if you are 25 years old. You have Venus in Capricorn and Saturn tied with Mars and your 7th house and this love thing is serious business to you. Your email reflects this and I think that’s a wholly positive sign - so what I would encourage you to do is get even more on your game via self awareness.

Aquarius Sun aside, be aware that when it comes to love, you are a like a wobbly kneed mountain goat trying to reach the heights. And for a skinny-legged goat to manage this, there is no choice but to move slowly and carefully up the side of the mountain. And when you get to certain points… well you might want to take a rest, plot your moves before taking the next step so you can have a sure foot. This is your game and there is nothing wrong with it.

So that’s my advice. Go forward, absolutely. Don’t dare give into the fear but make your moves only when you real reasonably sure it is safe, understanding that for you what is ‘reasonably safe” is probably ultra-safe and bullet proof for most.

Good luck.

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Dear Unloved,

I don’t believe anyone is destined to be unloved, but I know for sure that loves comes easier to some than others. And with Saturn ruling your 7th house and Venus in Scorpio square Saturn, you are clearly one of the others and for that I am sorry and I will try to help.

Saturn tied to Venus delays love in most cases, and if you read around you’ll be told that love comes later in life but I’d say there is no such guarantee. Love comes later in life to those willing to work for it. And I am sorry but this is just a fact and thinking otherwise is sort of like believing we all get rich in the end. Er… no we don’t!

So yes, Venus Saturn can love and be loved but you have to accept the conditions which most people just will not do. And I don’t mean to make this about me but I am going to use my personal life to illustrate this because I can’t see any other way to offer you something of substance that might actually help.

I don’t know if you read my blog regularly but I have a great love with a man I call the soldier. And our relationship is basically impossible. We are constantly thwarted. We are pounded in every way you can possibly imagine. With Saturn highly emphasized in both the synastry (aspects between charts) and the composite, we are delayed, screwed, blued and tattooed on a routine basis but we love each other and we hang in.

And we have found that by accepting the conditions and the limitations, the universe does support the relationship, but hey! No whining. No whining when sometimes weeks pass and we can’t see each other. No whining because other couples have it easier than we do. No whining even though we are pretty sure it will probably be years before we can actually be together. Getting the idea? Who would sign up for this?

Well you would if you were smart. Because the love is real and it is deep and with a chart like yours anything less well never satisfy. So here’s the point:

Forget the love that other people have because it has nothing to do with you. Be willing to redefine what it is you think you want because as you have noticed you’re not getting it. If you are consistently denied what you want, it might be productive to want something else.

For example, I want convenience! I want a man who lives right down the street who loves me like the man who does not live right down the street. And I want this new hologram man to be of the same quality of the man who comes with all the challenges and guess what? Too bad! That man does not exist. So I can pine for this thing that doesn’t exist or I can live in reality, yes? And you can do the same.

Ask the universe to send you a real love, not a fantasy love. Ask for something singular and hand-picked to challenge you. Then commit to doing absolutely whatever it takes to feed and maintain the relationship. And accept that pain is part of the deal. With a chart like yours, relationship at times will be absolutely grueling. You will be made to face your fear when you are scared to death but I can tell you firsthand the reward is in proportion.

What you’re doing is working the deprivation side of Saturn. No love is safe, see? No love = control. You’re going to have to work much, much harder. Believe it or not you’re shirking your duties here. It is much easier to say I don’t have or I will never get, then it is to go out and work for it.

And I am sorry but if I wrote this any other way this would have been crap for your purposes. La la la, you’ll find love late in life just isn’t going to cut it. The love is there, you’re just going to have to swim upstream to get it but here’s the trick: if you decide to do this you will find it exhilarating and incredibly satisfying. It’s the difference between working for your money and being handed it. Which of those experiences do you think is peak? Come to recognize you’ve got no interest in tutti-fruitti easy-peasy light-fare love and you’ll be on your way.

Good luck.

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