The other night, “closure” came up and soldier said something unusual which he does from time to time.

“I don’t know what closure is,” he said. “Who gets closure? You almost never get closure. If you do get closure then fine but I’d never go looking for it. I’m going to try to get some closure. The concept makes no sense. I don’t know who comes up with this stuff…”.

Now as a Venus Neptune type, I know exactly what he means. Nothing ever ends. There is no way to close anything because you never know when a person is going to pop up in real life, your thoughts, your dreams, in conversation, in a poem, in a song…

But I had never heard it stated so plainly and thought it was a boon so I’m sharing the bounty. It seems that looking for “closure” is aka wasting your time so I am done with that as of today.

“Just what do you mean when you say, project their shadow?” the soldier asked over the weekend. “Exactly what do you mean by that?”

“Well take these women, they have a falling out with their man. And they say blah, blah, blah he did all this crap to me. He’s this rotten guy.”

“Yeah, they do that.”
Continue reading His Scorpio Moon And My 8th House: Placing Blame And Projecting Your Shadow In Relationships

Relationship “karma”. Does the manner in which you leave one relationship impact the next?

Mercury is opposing Pluto and potent words are the theme of the day…

I mentioned the soldier and I reconnecting with his old pal from 30 years ago over the 4th of July holiday weekend. The man is an empath (I think). He is quick and he is kind and he has a really terrific wife and family. He loves his wife, she loves him, the 18 year old daughter is close to her mother and her father and when to witness this gives you hope. In fact, this is exactly what the soldier expressed to him via email when we got home. He told him that reconnecting with him gave him a feeling of hope.

I mentioned how quickly he was able to catch on to the situation with my daughter and respond appropriately which I thought (and still think) was remarkable. But anyway, we were standing in the backyard where he was barbecuing when he said something that just stopped me cold.
Continue reading Men Who Attack Women, Nasty Stuff Behind The Scenes And Men On The Front Lines Against Rape

Recently we’ve been talking about attraction and repulsion and also the rising sign, a person’s first handshake or their veneer as I say. I have been talking for 20 years about the problems I have on this front as my appearance is somewhat incongruous with my actual personality. Basically, I have dimples which attract people but I try to warn them - Beware the undertow.

“Well it just happens sometimes, I told the soldier last night regarding someone who approached me in friendship but has now retreated. “People see me, think they like me but find out they don’t. I mean look at me. I have dimples or whatever. I am always smiling so people think things when they see me. They think they want to know me. Other times they think I am some kind of mess they are going to save so they come in to do that but then they get a little closer in and change their mind in a hurry.”

The soldier stared.

“It happens to you too. Say you’re wearing a long sleeved shirt and you get a date. Then you take off your shirt and the person sees your tattoos and says, oh no! I didn’t know this - I’m out of here!’

That he understood.

Is your veneer false advertising?

It’s been interesting watching the solider land here. People have their natures and within 24 hours I could see he was plotting his empire and his various operations and we have had a big fight about this.

At one point he wanted me to plan with him. This was his move cross country specifically and I tried to indulge him but every time I offered an opinion he had a better angle.  It did not take me long to see it would always be this way so I wound up telling him to count me out.

Continue reading Oppositions In Astrology And The Division Of Labor In Relationship

Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto have recently moved into Earth signs. What have you noticed post this shift?

Since we are on the subject of synastry (or at least I am) I have thought about this:

The soldier has his north node in Libra in the 7th. With Aries south node in the first… well he is very good at being a soldier. He claims he has been at it for many, many lifetimes and his claim is credible so what’s it going to take to move him towards evolution?

Well my Mars Mercury conjunct lands on his node and what do I do? I constantly yell about manners and being civil, which I admit is ironic since my yelling is beyond merely RUDE. However he is a soldier and he thinks yelling is a fine way to train men.

Continue reading Astrology And Relationship: Nodes In Synastry - Subtlety Counts: In Fact It Makes All The Difference In The World

The soldier and I were talking about an old love of mine…

“I have been thinking about him lately and wondering what he came up with. Do you suppose he’s told himself a story about how awful I am? Or do you think he sees it in another light?”

“He’s probably told himself a story,” he said.

“Yeah, I think he might have. I think he may have a whole story constructed by now and then if becomes reality even if it’s not real. Why do people do that?”

“It’s a defense.”

“Against what?”
Continue reading The Relationship Fails - Now Whose Fault Is That?

I have heard (and agree) that if you pay attention the first time two people meet, the whole relationship can be told. The energy between the two people mixes that fast and here’s an example.I just found out I was yelling at the soldier on our second date as well. We met for about 10 minutes, I left then sent my roommate to invite him to dinner 10 minutes later.

2 hours after that he was at my apartment eating dinner and 10 minutes after that I got pissed off and kicked him out of the apartment.

Continue reading Astrology and Synastry: Some Of These Relationship Patterns Are Just Plain Hardwired