Last night someone told me what they said didn’t count because they said it when they were mad. I disagreed, feeling you are responsible for what you say, regardless of your mood and having Mars (impulsive, angry) conjunct Mercury (speech), I have learned this the hard way. Matter of fact, every regret I have… every single one is over something I said that I didn’t mean and always when I was hotted up and angry.

Having suffered profoundly over what came tumbling from my mouth when I was younger I have learned to make sure I say what I mean and mean what I say, sometimes less but never more. Having the conjunction in the 9th house… well I better believe (9th house) what I say (Mercury) or I am going down. And I have gotten really good at this.

Matter of fact, I have gotten so good at this, I have become a precision instrument people can’t believe it.

“You didn’t mean that, when you said it. You were just pissed.”

“No, I did mean it. I meant exactly what I said and I stand by it. Not only that, I will say it all again if it will help you be clear.”

Today I feel really proud of this and I have two questions. Do you mean what you say?

And secondly have you ever been so badly burned and bled so much courtesy a part of your personality you had no choice but to re-work it?

Pictured - Mars and Venus United by Love, Paolo Veronese, 1528-1588, Oil on canvas, 205,7 x 161 cm, c. 1570, Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

Dear Wife,

Some of them do, I’m sure. Some of them, probably not. And I know this is very distressing. But there are a whole lot of people out there who will avoid looking at their shadow and the pain they cause others at all costs. And why is that?

It’s their defense. There can’t be anything wrong with them. And if you stop and think about this, you will see how severely compromised people like this are.

To me, it’s like trying to be a human being with no heart and both hands tied behind your back (and your eyes in backwards). Good luck! Try again next life, dumbass!

Seriously. This is all they can do. This is the extent of their capacity and then here comes someone like you and you wind up suffering on top of your suffering waiting for them to regret, repent… cry in the middle of the night or whatever.

Well think about it. The guy can lie to your face, remember? So what’s that tell you about his character?

Fact is, your ex-man is not some powerful man who squashed you. He’s a profoundly compromised human being and your best bet is expect nothing of him. And if he turns out to be one of the ones who does have some kind of awakening? Great. But don’t hold your breath, okay? And I want to quote a genius I knew briefly, around this sort of thing. Arie is his name.

“A reprobate is a reprobate is a reprobate.”

Good luck.

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