Yeah, the title of this blog is not politically correct but have you noticed? People are getting sick of PC, I know I am. Things are shifting. But anyway I am living the downside of this shift into the Earth signs and I thought I’d tell you about it.

I have mentioned before I avoid talking about my daughter… her illness. I have explained I have a hard enough time living it day to day so don’t want to spend what free time I get going over it, telling the story (Jupiter) which forces me to relive it / stay in it while I talk. Why do that when I could not talk (avoid) and have an escape? Basically I figure suffering 15 hours a day enough, no need to discuss the suffering for another hour or 2, right? This has come up in many forms.

Continue reading The Depressing Bummer That Is Saturn In Virgo Combined With Jupiter in Capricorn

Have you ever noticed some people manage to avoid responsibility for everything while others are hyper-responsible? My friend, Ben calls the former, “Teflon People” because nothing sticks to them. They didn’t do it, it was the other guy. Even if they did do it, they still didn’t do it because it was the other guy who maaaaade them do it.

As for the hyper-responsible, they think everything is their fault. “If I had not done, x, y or z… if I had not combed my hair this morning, then none of this would have happened.”

Oddly enough I think both extremes are found among strong Saturn or Capricorn types. You think of Capricorn as being responsible but Capricorn is famous for having a strong defense and for controlling situations. So if Capricorn wants to defend against reality this poses no problem at all and history is replete with examples of this.

Do you fit one of these types? What are your observations around this?

With a stellium in Capricorn and Saturn in contact with both Venus and Uranus it seems to me that how you fare now is entirely contingent on your relationship with reality and your willingness to go the long haul.

Integrity, maturity and commitment are the cards to have now and if you lack on these fronts you can pretty much expect to be slowly and methodically brought to your knees.

fortitude:

1: strength of mind that enables a person to encounter danger or bear pain or adversity with courage

Got any?

So about these older African men, after all these years of this happening, I got to thinking about it. Because it never fails. I have had an older black man supporting me, and I mean absolutely accepting me and everything about me without equivocation all my life.

And when I move or they move, another man shows up. Someone just pops up to take this position and place in my life and here I go again with another African father figure.

And there is always a motorcycle involved! But never mind that, at least for now. The point is eventually I had to think about this. Why does this happen?

And I thought about the psychology and all kinds of things deep and meaningful. And I am aware this phenomenon is rooted to my core. But bottom line, I think this happens because I have some kind of imprint. You know. When I see an older black man, I just totally expect we’re going to hit off, have some fun, understand and appreciate each other and the whole nine yards.

And my face and my body language must convey this, right? Because these men I meet don’t have my background. It’s my script. But this constellates almost immediately, without fail so there has to be something in my demeanor.

And the point is I have this strong belief (Neptune) that older black men are incredibly freakishly cool to know. I believe this is real (Saturn) and it appears that what I believe becomes real because I believe it.

And I so seriously (Saturn) believe this (Neptune)… I’ve taken profound action. I have made life decisions based on this and I’ll tell you about them in my next blog. Meantime, you tell me.

Do you think you can believe something into reality? Or no?

Keep reading -> Racism - Erasing Fears and Limitations

Scott and I. We’re still talking. Well first he went on for awhile about quantum mechanics. I’d transcribe, but I can’t because he’s too deft with words. I can understand and absorb what he says but would have real trouble recalling the dialogue verbatim and to paraphrase would be a disservice…

“So take this 15 year old bartender thing,” I said. “I’m standing there behind a bar thinking how the hell can these people not know I am 15? How could that be? Are they stupid? Am I stupid? Am I invisible? What?”

He laughed.

“Right. And it goes on and on and on like that. Days go by and by and by and nobody figures it out. Years! And nobody knows I’m just a kid and a stupid one from the desert at that. Because come on. I was so naive. A total turnip someone dropped from a truck in the middle of town. And I spent all my time baffled over this. How could people not know this? How in the world? It’s like living in some weird bubble. People see you, yet obviously they can’t and if you’re me…well, it’s impossible to resolve this. It just can’t be understood or fathomed.”

“I learned a lot about you, reading your book. I understand what was happening with you back then, a lot better than I did.”

“Good. Because believe me, on a day to day basis, I was just simply confused. How the fuck can I be standing here…a total kid…an obvious child, and no one notices, day after day after day…”

He didn’t say anything.

“So then you explain the exact thing I could never figure out. That is, that I was such a good bartender…I had such command behind the bar no one would ever dream in a million years, I did not belong there!” I laughed. “Eureka! I could really tend bar. And I can see that. But who’d have thought? Think that ever occurred to me? Hell no! So there you go. And what is real? Do I belong behind a bar when I’m fifteen? Obviously, I do! Just ask anyone I ever served! If there were ever someone born to tend bar, it’s me!”

“Yeah that’s right, Elsie. I’ll say. You were the best.”

“Thanks. But wait a minute. Do I really belong behind a bar when I am fifteen? Obviously not! No 15 year old should be tending bar. But anyway, that’s Saturn Neptune for you. Reality is nebulous. What the hell is reality? Obviously, there is no reality.”

Keep reading…Defining Suffering