I was lying on the bed last night wearing a gauzy skirt with a wide (about 5″) band of elastic across my lower stomach. The skirt is meant to be worn high, low whatever and, “See this?” I asked the soldier, patting my stomach through the elastic band.  “I have a little bit of cramps from my period.”

He smiled.

“Yeah and this band of elastic, it feels crushing.” The elastic is actually comfortably body hugging but it did seem this way at the time.  “This skirt is pushing down right on the place that is uncomfortable.  Come to think of it, I am oppressed by this skirt,” I said with a chuckle.  “Hey!  That means you have to help me.  Aren’t you Special Forces guys supposed to liberate the oppressed?”

“Well yeah,” he said.

I roared.  “Well then I guess you’ve no choice but to get this skirt off me - You swore an oath.”

He stared.

“It’s a pretty good line; I am surprised I never thought of it before. Anyone ever tell you that before?  Hey soldier! I am oppressed by my jeans, can you help me?”

“No.”

“Well my God, I am clever.”

This morning I asked the soldier, “Was I a pain yesterday? Was I? Did I cause a lot of trouble, or was I nasty or hard to be around?  Was I?  Let me put it this way,” I said before he could answer.  “Yesterday, was I a B-I-T-C-H?”  I asked with the biggest grin in 18 states.  I was in his face too. He was sitting on the couch and I was leaning over him, face in close for this quiz.

‘Well, no.  You weren’t a bitch. We had a great day yesterday. We had all kinds of fun,” he said.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. And guess what? Today I got my period so that means no PMS excuses for you.  When I get pissed off I don’t want you blaming PMS because as it turns out, I don’t have PMS, huh?  I have this pimple right here and that’s it,” I said, cheekily pointing to the pimple on my cheek. “So how about that?”

He smiled his appreciation, that’s all. Meanwhile Vidroid stood by, taking notes.