13
Gay Capricorn Man Struggles To Recover When Aquarian Man Detaches: Pluto Transit To Venus in Capricorn
Dear Elsa,
I’m a gay Capricorn man interested in an Aquarian. Our relationship was physical in the beginning but I developed intense feelings for him. I came forward with how I felt and he retreated, saying he just wants to be friends. I was brokenhearted.
Now, we’re in the same cluster of friends and I can’t avoid seeing him, unless I give up my other friends which of course is out of the question. I have been trying hard to forget my feelings for him and have a normal, friendly relationship. I think he tries too, but I know he is still uncomfortable with the knowledge that I harbor feelings for him. At times he ignores me, perhaps intentionally, which hurts. I in turn pretend it doesn’t bother me, and act respectfully with nonchalance - until I am alone, when I get depressed over it.
Ideally I would like him to give me another chance romantically. I know I should move on, but I’m not sure how best to deal with this.
Capricorn Man
United States
Dear Capricorn,
I was surprised by your chart. I thought this was going to be dense writing but in fact there is an easy fix here if you opt to take.
The man in question is a double Aquarius with Mars in Gemini. He is a virtual air balloon and he is allllll wrong for you. In fact, he could not possibly be less appropriate for you considering your transits.
With Pluto (deep) coming to conjoin your Venus in Capricorn, you are headed in a direction this guy cannot take you. He is simply too light fare and I would look at his exit as a gift from the universe, and right in every way. It is right for him and it is right for you.
I say, leave him to flit. You are headed for a deep relationship which will move and empower in you in ways you have never experienced and this guy is just not the guy who can deliver. Let him go. You are about to be hijacked / kidnapped by someone much more substantial and once this happens the double Aquarian will be but a blip who crossed your screen.
Good luck.
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pictured - Detail of Pluto in a quadriga from the painted decoration on the throne from the Tomb of Eurydike, circa 340 BC, Vergina, Tomb of Eurydike.
1
Her Boyfriend May Move Cross Country After Graduation: Pluto Transit, Venus and the 7th House
Dear Elsa,
My boyfriend and I have the most beautiful relationship we have ever experienced. He is 26 and just graduated from college in December. He is now faced with the problems of entering the real world and finding a job that he loves.
He has all these friends in California that keep taunting him to go out there to start their own music business and he has now been debating this for months. In this time I have been tossed back and forth thinking we have a future, and then thinking that the most important person in my life is about to move 3000 miles away and we may never be able to be together again.
The problem I am having with this is that although I support him and want nothing but for him to be happy,.. it makes me wonder why he has been lazy about finding his music career here in NY where his family and I live. My dad just got a job at MTV and has been helping him get connections but at the end of the day his decision is always swinging towards California.
Should I be offended that he could make his life here but is choosing otherwise? He tells me that if he left and lost me it would be the biggest regret of his life… so where do you go from there? Do you take that chance or do you try your hardest not to let that happen? I don’t think he’s trying his hardest to stay, I think he’s running off to his friends that are unemployed but have a pretty state to offer to him as opposed to regular old Jersey.
What should I feel, what should I do… if I lost him it would be a terrible shame and I don’t know that I can accept this loss if we both love each other this much.
Jersey Girl
United States
Dear Girl,
Wanting to see exactly what was going on with this guy, I wrote you a couple times to request his birth data but you did not respond. Since the mails did not bounce, I assume they were caught in a spam filter which happens now and then. It’s been a week so I decided to work without it.
At 26, your boyfriend has another year or so before his Saturn Return comes in and he is really forced to buckle down. And it sounds to me as if he would like to play a little and after 16 years of school, I can’t say that I blame him. Now I know this is not what you want to hear but you know you can’t hold him if he want to go. You can’t and you shouldn’t because regardless of how you feel it is his life and as they say, ‘Work to get, work to keep.”
I also question the depth of his commitment when he has kept you in this limbo for six months. I don’t think this is a good sign and I also don’t like how he is sending you mixed messages, “If I lose you, I will regret it… but by the way, get ready because I am leaving.” None of this is optimistic, see?
As to your chart, Pluto is poised to cross your descendant, oppose your Venus and and transit your 7th house (relationships) which strongly suggests the loss of relationship… at least temporarily. By that I mean he may get out there and decide he can’t live without you but I am sorry to say that a void period is virtually guaranteed.
Here are the answers to your specific questions:
Do you take that chance or do you try your hardest not to let that happen?
You take a chance. This is not the kind of thing you can stop from happening.
What should I feel?
You feel what you feel but what I would feel is devastated so if you are anything like me… I have much sympathy.
Much love and good luck.
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pictured - Pluto, Agostino Carracci, 1557
26
Leo Woman Engaged To Man Who Displays His Ex-Lover’s Pictures: Pluto Transit to Venus, Jupiter, Pluto T-Square
Dear Elsa,
My fiancee has pictures, movie stubs, concert stubs and other items from his time with his ex-girlfriend on the fridge and hanging up. After a little while of dating, I asked him to take down the photos; he would take down one at a time after I would ask and not without some retort about their insignificance. Okay then. They broke up two years ago…but she did text him this past winter. He also has a picture of her from two years ago in his phone which he says he just didn’t get around to deleting.
I fancy myself a pretty patient and open minded person… but I think if he is over this person, then the pics should be put away. I have albums of exes and I love keeping them around. I still listen to mixes they made me, wear jewelry they bought me, etc. I don’t expect anything different from him or anyone I would date…. but with things like pictures of them together out in the open, I don’t feel welcome at his place. Am I overreacting to this?
I told him at the time of asking the pics to come down that if he has stuff to deal with in regard to this ex, that it is fine. We can be friends or just date and take things slower and see what happens. But each time he would say he loves me, has never felt this way before and has been talking marriage talk with me pretty much since the beginning and it makes me happy. I just love this person.
We are great together, passionate about each other, have a great time seeing bands/going to movies/camping/nights talking/etc, and just love each other. I don’t doubt that. It’s perfect except for this one thing that I just don’t get. He’s dated a lot and all of his friends are surprised at how fast things are moving with us. He just says I’m the one. Basically, he rushed full on into getting engaged and wanting to marry me… we even met the parents and family last month! His mom is helping to get the ring too.
I am going through a pluto/venus opposition right now and am wondering if I am projecting astrology or is it just really manifesting this way to an ending/life change Pluto control thing?
Is my leonine ego just warped as all get out??
Perplexed and Patient
United States
Dear Perplexed.
You think you’re perplexed? You ought to be me reading your post. I was thinking, how can this woman put up with this?
So I put up your chart and could see at least a hundred reasons. And obviously outlining them is beyond the scope of this blog. So rather than worry about trying to untangle what all is driving you, I’ll just give you my read on this.
It seems to me your boyfriend is obsessed and carrying a torch for his ex. If that is true, there is no way in the world you should marry him under these circumstances. I don’t even think you should date him. You know. Call me when you take down the shrine, dipshit!
Second, I would pay mind to the way his friends are reacting. It’s not good. It seems they strongly suspect he is careening ‘round the track in his car, destined to crash and they are probably right.
Last, the mother. Look out! Mothers tend to know their sons and I am sure this one knows her son is in love with the other woman… or with the memory/hologram of her. That she is rushing to get you a ring scares the hell out of me because I think you are being used.
Are you supposed to be the duct tape that holds her son together? Are you supposed to be the barrier that prevents her son getting back with his ex? These things are scary.
I see and appreciate the fact you want to keep your ego under control, etc. But I don’t think you are reading your Pluto transit correctly. In the simplest terms, I think what you’ve got here is a shadow side to your love and it’s (Jupiter) enormous.
Good luck.
~~
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18
Open Question: Devastated By Loss Of A Job She Loved - Should She Keep The Company T-Shirt?
Elsa,
I’ve started two non-profits now. The last one I was the first executive director of the non-profit. I loved my job. The problem was that the board did not mean me well and fired me. I have been struggling for almost 8 months to find a new line of work and a new direction. It is painful to lose a job that you loved and that you believed in the dream that you were working towards. I was cleaning out my closet today and came across two t-shirts. They were the non-profit’s first t-shirts with our logo. A logo I helped design.
I am too ashamed of what happened to wear the t-shirts and am wondering if I should give them away. They’re beautiful hemp fabric but have the logo on them. Am I keeping the energy of something that did me harm? Should I hold onto them because I’ll regret not keeping a token of my work in 20 years? Will getting rid of them now help me heal or will I regret it later?
I do need to heal and get on with a new line of work where I am appreciated. It’s overdue at this point.
Thoughts?
Fired T-Shirt Owner
United States
This was sent in as an open question, so please have at it!
11
Retired Pisces Man Struggles With Depression: Saturn and Pluto Transits
Dear Elsa,
I have recently retired after 32 years. I did not cultivate healthy interests and have no friends. I feel that I made a serious mistake and have minor depression. My wife offers no real support. I have tried to volunteer but have not been successful. Is there respite on the way?
Retired
United States
Dear Retired,
I am sorry you are hurting and I wish I had better news. I think things will get worse before they get better, but there are still some things you can do. For one, adjust your sights.
You’re heading into a Saturn transit which will be hanging around until mid-2008. Depression is common during Saturn transits but it is something that will run its course - like winter. And if frame it this way it may help you to deal. This is a season not the rest of your life and it will end.
It is also common to reflect on your life and to come up with things you feel you could have or should have done differently… but don’t stop there. Use these things to motivate yourself towards positive change.
So with this model, you are now slugging through the snow in winter, thinking… why did I create these circumstances? But if you keep yourself moving and moving though, you will eventually be moving away - albeit with some hard lessons learned.
I think the volunteering is a good shot. You’re a Pisces with Venus in Pisces and for you it is “serve or suffer”. And on your marriage, time will tell. You have Pluto transiting Venus (relationship) and it may end. If this happens, you can be sure it is for the best so the bottom line is this:
You are going to be in very rough water for the next year, so you do what you need to do. You may need an anti-depressant for example but if you do, don’t worry about it. It will be short term. This may be prolonged but it going to pass.
Much love and good luck.
~~
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