I went walking today because I just don’t have that much to say (publicaly). This is the gift of a Pluto transit to the Moon over a Pluto Transit to the Sun. When Pluto transits the Sun, everyone can see what is happening. You just can’t hide the pain, people can see your transformation as it takes place which intensely uncomfortable at least it was for me.

But with the Pluto Moon it is much easier to burn in the background which I guess is what I am up to today and I’ll tell you why.
Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: Snakes And On Being Repulsive

There is a slight bubble in the linoleum on my kitchen (Moon). Last night I dreamed it was moving. It was sort of bubbling up further and eventually I could see it was someone’s back pushing up from the crawlspace below trying to break through the floor.

As soon as I had that thought, I could see this was for sure the case and further, the floor was so bowed they were definitely going to be successful.
Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: Dream

Pluto has slowed to a craaaawl and will turn direct on September 9th. I thought I’d remark on how this feels, the transit in tight aspect to my natal Moon.

I am sick most the time. My stomach is roiled up this is, especially when the Moon transits the late degrees in one of the mutable signs. I really look forward to the end of this sort of like being 9 1/2 months pregnant, at that point you’ve had it and you just want the baby out of you.

I wonder if this will be like a pregnancy in that once the baby is born, you’re looking at another 9 months to recover, at least. And what about post-postpartum depression, hmm?

I didn’t suffer that when I had children and hope I am able to ride the wave down a third time. Could I be that lucky? It almost seems improbable.

(yes, those are my kids)

Today, I was giving the pal the lowdown on the current situation.

“It’s too much to try to comprehend, “I said. “It is just impossible.”

She said something about how I had been up to thing for so long…

“No, that is not my perception. I was writing my blog and doing the Top 10,” I said. “That’s what I have been doing for what it seems like forever but I am not doing that anymore. No, everything has changed. Really, it’s not the same at all whether people can see or not. ”

No?”

Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: The Chaos Behind The Scenes

Well now that was unexpected. I am just back from picking up Vid at the bus stop, I went to get him on my scooter.

I pick him up in a city park parking lot and as soon as I’d pulled up and parked another mother made a beeline for me. I had no thought in my head as I swung my leg over to get off the bike and get Vid’s helmet from the back there so when she asked about my daughter well…

Well I told her. I told her short story, end game. I told her my daughter’s current status leaving out… everything. I thought to tell her this was personal and ask she not spread it around but I realized that was ridiculous. It’s not personal, at least not the way I was saying it and the more attention I gave to the thing the more talk I’d inspire. Further, I was telling her and guess what? I didn’t even know her name.
Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: How The Subconscious Works

The soldier just called to say he was on his way home from work. “You okay? You don’t sound okay.”

“Yeah, well I fell off my bead today in court. I misunderstood something that was said in there and I reacted to it. But I had the presence of mind to call and check on things when I got home and I found out I’d misunderstood. So I went off… I had an emotional reaction but got back up pretty quick.”

“Oh no, not in court.”

“No, I was cool in court. I didn’t do anything, I just got stunned in there, it was fast. But I didn’t go off or anything (Jeez, how volitile do people think I am?). I just left and had an emotional reaction - fell off my bead.”

“Okay, well I’ll come home and put you back on your bead then. I’ll do it, P.”

What more do you want in a man?

I have updated the last Pluto Moon blog in the comments. I made a phone call to one of the gals after court and she clued me into the fact I misunderstood a term used in court. You can catch up on that story in the comments if you like - This is my new thing to say. It was going to be a comment but I realized it deserved it’s own piece.

This episode in court just goes to show you how close to an edge I am and the banana peel is right there. I’ve simply got to make my way through hell in the very low light and when something like this happens and I drop suddenly… well then I drop suddenly. And when I drop suddenly I can’t help but be made aware how close I am to just spinning out into the abyss.
Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: The Edge And The Banana Peel That Sits Alongside It

Court was murderous actually and for reasons I did not or could not have anticipated. There is a new judge which made the cold thing even colder. I liked the old judge.

I don’t dislike the new judge, he is just a stranger and sometimes I think the reason the universe gave me astrology is because I could never deal with this life without it.

I know I have a Pluto transit to my Moon and I know I am losing (have lost) my daughter. I wrote on here months ago that she would not be coming home but that was just to float the concept. It was something still ethereal but today (Venus is conjunct Saturn) it just real-er. Real-er but not real because Pluto takes you down in degrees and I am not there yet. *We* are not there yet.

I called a pal leaving the courtroom. “What would you equate this too?” I asked. “What is this that is happening to me?”

I don’t remember what she said. Too many systems were shut down. Something about the most unnatural thing in the world. Something about being continually astonished at what I am made to suffer.

I had no idea what to do with that information so I did nothing. I couldn’t explain if I had a million years.

This won’t mean much if you’re new around here but I got into a dialogue with SaDiablo about Scott and more specifically the demise of our friendship. He’s the pianist.

Now I met Scott when I was 15 years old and working in his mother’s bar. (I met the soldier when I was 17). Scott was a boy genius… a prodigy on the piano and we started dating.

Now we got along fabulously but never for long. In fact we could not function in a relationship for more than a couple weeks but this did not stop us from getting into one again and again and again over the course of 17 years! And even if we were not dating we were generally friendly during that time, for example he helped me with that sexual harassment lawsuit I filed that I never mentioned to the soldier. You know. He is off rescuing the hostages in Iran. I am filing a lawsuit that will help set precedent for Anita Hill and the like and no one has a clue.
Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: Through The 11th House - Kiss Your Friends Goodbye

I’m just off the phone with satori. I had about 3 minutes to talk, this Astro News has really got me working non-stop as all of the fixes keep breaking. Not that it’s not worth it, because it is worth it and I was telling her about all this work I am doing. I am profoundly tired but it has less do the busy work then it is the Pluto transit to my Moon. It is just exhausting to process things at this level. I am not sure I can describe it other than to say that things keep happening.
Continue reading Pluto Moon Transit - Mine: “Holy Cow, The Power”