Last night at dinner I was talking to the soldier…

“Today I had a moment of total peace about Mosta (my daughter),”  I said. “I just felt completely okay about everything, every shred of it. I don’t know how I got there but I did and I could barely believe it. I realize it probably won’t last.”

“Yeah, P?”

“Yeah but the place exists.  There is a way of seeing this and feeling about it that allows me to feel okay and live comfortably regardless… regardless of whatever.  I am talking complete acceptance and comfort with the situation.”

He didn’t say anything so I reached across the table and tapped his forearm. “I touched it just like that,” I said. “And I figure if I could touch  it and be there today… I felt good all day long, then it means this place exists.  And if I get thrown off, I should be able to find my way back eventually and maybe live there full time?  Most of the time?  In whatever case, before today I did not know such a place existed so this was a really important day.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, what you said and what some people say about the reasons things like this happen to some people and not others is very true. You have to have some capacity and I do have it because I found this out today. I figured it and most strangely I could even see a benefit to everyone involved. Everyone. Me, you, her… the people who read my blog… everyone.  So that’s my report.  Port. I have found a port. It’s a place I can stand and have no problems even in this situation and I think it’s pretty much a miracle don’t you?”

Do you have a port in the storm?

Shaina writes on The Relationship Fails - Now Whose Fault Is That:

“…I guess it’s a trade-off, that I have had to realize that sometimes people won’t want or need my nurturing, and they can just go off on their own and do their thing and it’s OK with me. Preferable, actually, because the healing energy I give out to other people is something I ought to save for myself.”

(read her entire comment here)

Shaina - I have learned that everything is preferable compared to what you can imagine. Hah!

I might have learned this from satori by the way, also a Saturn Neptune type (Pisces Sun, Moon in Capricorn).

We can imagine (Pisces) some pretty dire stuff (Capricorn) but anyway…

Do you agree? If so can you see where you get your perspective in your chart or in your life?

Deirdre writes regarding my feeling repulsive and wanting to be with a killer and all that jazz…

“I see what you mean. Sure. Well, I am not in love with the soldier, so in my life, I am not thinking about wanting to be with a killer and that may simplify my life because I think it is taboo to want to marry a killer. It’s not really “in” at least in my circles…” (read the whole comment, she is not attacking me)

Deirdre - this is a perfect example of the challenges I face in trying to communicate. Being attracted to what is taboo does not even enter into my equation when I think about this. What is most appealing about Special Forces training… what I admire the most is the soldier’s focus. He’s got a task / he is on a mission and there is no stopping him. Highly trained, he does not become hysterical or distracted from what he is trying to do and being exposed to this has been enormously instructive and helpful.

Continue reading Feeling Repulsive Redux… The Collective View Of Your Circle Of Friends

Most of you know the soldier has collected songs for thirty years that remind of me in some way and he’s got all the bases covered. He’s got racing motor songs, left at the altar songs, two criminals on the run songs, Italian songs, regretful man songs, jealousy songs, happy songs, a song for my time with the AMF… you name it.

So some months ago when I was telling him about all the people (there were a 100 of them at least) telling me he was an assassin, and also that his family would kill me if I ever left him etc. - Well he was bound to find a song to commemorate it and this is it.
Continue reading “Why Do You Want To Marry An Assassin?” Redux - The Boy Is No Good

Do people get what they deserve? This question came up in the comments on the video Why Do People Try To Block Other People’s Happiness? We discussed this last year…

Jupiter in Sagittarius… comparing perspectives. This is the soldier and I talking last night:

“Yeah, I wrote about justice on my blog. Our different views. Or our different experience is more like it. You see justice delivered and I frequently see the opposite.”
Continue reading Karma, Justice, and Kenneth Lay - Do People Get What They Deserve? A Poll

The sky is full of Sagittarius and it’s an opportune time to think about your future. Where do you want to be in 12 years? Get those seeds in the ground!

“You just never know when your life is going to totally change,” I told the soldier. “Because I walked in that apartment when I was 17 and there you were. Now look what happens,”

“There you were too, and I did my best to charm you,” he said. “I immediately started charming you the best I could. I stood up when you came in the room and didn’t sit down until you did… next to me. You were trying to charm me too.”

“How?”
“Oh, you were doing this stuff with your eyes.”

“That’s embarrassing. Anyway, your son? (I have seen him on TV, the soldier has not). He looks really, really good. He’s grinning. He’s got that family grin and it’s very easy to see how he got his wife. How she would go crazy for him with that grin and all. He looks exciting and grand.”

“Well I sure hope so. I hope they stay together because he does love her.”

“Does he? He loves her?”

“Yeah. I know he loves her. He loves her! And I’ll tell you what I hope for him,” he said.

“What’s that?”

I hope he gets to take a bath with her for the next 30 years.”

What do you want for your children… or if you don’t have children, what do your parents want for you?

Scott vs Arie On People and Their Natures

Scott vs Arie On People and Their Natures, Redux: What’s a Libra To Do?

Scott vs Arie Redux 2: Can People Change Their Nature?

Scott vs Arie: Can People Change Their Nature? My Opinion

I frequently masquerade as the soldier. He is in a situation where he can’t make the calls that keep his life running smoothly. I am in the situation where I can, so I am forever calling people up and letting them assume I am him.

I can rattle off his birthday and his phone number. I can rattle off the last four digits of his social security number and on the fact, he has a man’s name?

Well it’s the funniest thing. These days when you call the cell phone company or whatever, you are generally talking to someone in India and his name is unusual enough, they don’t recognize it as male or female. In other cases, I think people do recognize I am giving a man’s name, but they are too PC to say anything. You know. I could be having a sex change!

But today, the gal in the pharmacy was our color and she knew for sure something was up with the name. At first she tried to change the spelling to the feminine version aka Claude and Claudia but when I nixed that, well next thing I knew, I was signing some stuff about privacy. And I just thought this a Jupiter in Sagittarius phenomenon. With all of us from various cultures in closer contact then we have ever been before, things like this happen.

I also think this is the main reason astrology is gaining popularity in the West. We can thank the Indians…

Are you aware of any effects of the big world getting smaller?

Dear Thera-pized,

You are certainly educated and it sounds to me as if you’d like to graduate - so how about some permission to do just that? 13 years of therapy is enough for anyone, especially for the brainy - so how about considering closing this chapter and moving on to the next?

If you wonder how to do that, it’s really very simple. You just decide to stop tagging your behavior “pathological” and instead identify yourself as human. You may be a more obsessive human than some other humans out there, but who is to say that their ability to detach is superior to your ability to focus?

Who is to say a person should or should not be scatterbrained and/or opinionated, when virtually every single one of us finds yourself in both states at various times in our lives?

According to my observations, the person with convictions is heading towards having those convictions challenged and altered and the scatterbrained is on a path to clarity. Should we call this pathological?

You’re a double Sagittarian with a packed 6th house and guess what? You’re going to think a lot. And you are going to morph and mutate.

You have a Cancer rising so you’re moody. What should we do? Sue you?

You have Venus conjunct Pluto in Scorpio and you’re sexualized… but get this loud and clear:

SO WHAT!!!

Here’s my advice: quit trying to fix something that’s not broke and just go live. We need you out there in the world. You are here for a reason and surely it’s something beyond taking up space in some therapist’s office who I would bet knows less than you do.

Good luck.

Need advice? Ask here!

Interested in a personal consultation? Click here for more info…

Besides travel and culture, Jupiter rules education and while in New York, HQ took me to the ITP Winter Show at NYU, where he taught a course last semester. The show is an opportunity for the students to showcase their projects… a solar bikini that charges your iPod and keeps your beer cold, and various other ideas and inventions. The place was packed.

And I think HQ thought I was bored, but I was not. In fact, I was completely fascinated. Because I am from the desert! And like I said, I crave exposure to other cultures, which is exactly what college life in a major city, is to me. I may as well have been walking around India! So I was smiling inside, unbeknownst to him.

So some of HQ’s students had projects in the show and he stopped to chat with them while I stood nearby doing what I do. Observing that is. Absorbing. For example, he was chatting with one guy and he asked me what I thought about the guy as we walked away.

“I liked him,” I said. “And he sure has the right glasses. Did you see those glasses? They were strange and they worked. Hardly anyone can get glasses that good for their face so I am happy for him. He has an interesting way of presenting himself. His clothing…”

He just looked at me.

And a couple days later we were emailing around another gal he spoke to while I stood by. At the show, I told him I thought she was incredibly coy. To the point of caricature! But anyway, he was somewhat disappointed with the show and somewhat concerned I felt the same. He would not want to be wasting my time in New York with boring things! But I tried to explain I was not him. I was not necessarily reading things the way he was.

“Take the girl,” I said. “You’re thinking… I have no idea what. Something technology thing I guess. Or business. But I am standing next to you thinking, this girl has dance training. Look what she’s doing with her foot. Look at her posture, her carriage. So I am watching her and thinking about her parents taking her to ballet class when she is a little girl. And now she’s at NYU! She’s growing up and this is how she is turning out. And I am thinking about how incredibly coy she is and wondering what it would be like to date someone like that. How different she is from me…”

So there you go. It’s possible to have a perspective that is incredibly diverse from even your closest friends. And this is my preference. I want as many angles on a thing as possible. It’s why I love astrology, I suppose. It’s not flat!

Are most of your friends like-minded or no?