My daughter in the car yesterday:

“I’m about 95% sure I’m bisexual,” she said.

“Yeah?” I was surprised. She’s mentioned this for nearly a year but never so committed. “Is that what you think?”

“Yeah.”

She laid out her evidence and it was compelling. Continue reading Astrology And Fear: Capricorn Bay-bee… I’m Shakin’ In My Boots!

My daughter and I, talking in the car as we drove across Nebraska after spending the weekend with the soldier…

“Sometimes I wish I had your life,” she said. ‘To write about because my life is not as interesting as yours.”

“What?” I laughed. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me. Look at the characters in your life. You’ve got one… he stands there holding a cigarette in his hand, blowing smoke out his mouth and says he’s not smoking.” I snorted. “You don’t think you can write about that? And how many times have you nearly died? You’ve spent years almost dying don’t you realize?”

“I do realize,” she said. Continue reading Pluto Transit To The Moon - Mine: Empowering My Daughter - Legacy, Scorpio and the 8th House And Oh Yeah, Death, Dying and Writing

Lilly asks on the Mars and Sex blog:

“… astrological signs, aspects, etc. often run in families. I’ve often wondered if some people get hornier at certain times of the year because (if they or their partner conceived then) it would produce a child of a particular sign (or with a certain aspect)? What do you think?”

Lilly, I don’t know. But since I feel very strongly that we choose our parents, I would guess it is the soul (the baby) making the decision when to come in and when the parents choose to have sex has little to do with it. For example, my daughter was three weeks early and my son three weeks late. And I know you’re a mother so I bet you agree, once you get these kids it’s very obvious there are no mistakes.

So are humans on this plane smart enough to see all and make these inspired matchings between themselves and their children? Somehow I doubt it.

Anyone else with an opinion?

There have been some very poignant comments (thank you) made on the two blogs about my son here, “All Grown at 8 Years Old“, and here, “It’s There Chart and They’ll Do What They Want“.

When my son told me he was going to be a Marine (in the car no less… Mars Mercury), I can’t tell you the things that ran through my mind in the moment, never mind during the days since, at least not all at once. I can tell you but I think it will take me roughly 18 years because this is all Pluto in Capricorn stuff and that’s how long that transit is going to last!

Let’s see. Pluto in Capricorn.

Capricorn is a parent so we’re talking the psychology of parenting, the shadow side of parenting, the power parents wield (for good or ill)… manipulative parents and so forth. So when my son made this statement I felt it in my core… and in my bones. Uh on. Whatcha going to do, Elsa?

Well I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do but I’ll tell you this much:

I’m not going to stop my son from being a soldier anymore than I would stop him from being Billy Elliot.

How about you? Is it okay if your son is Billy Eliot? How about if he is a Marine?

I mentioned my son has the chart of a wealthy person… this is dramatic to my eye. And when he was born I wondered how this was going to work. I pretty much figured he would wind up rich but what about “childhood”? Because he wasn’t born with money… except he was and here is how this works:

My daughter is a lot like me. We want almost nothing. The things we do want, we want very badly. We want them to death you could say, but this only happens in a blue moon.

The first time my daughter asked me to buy her something in a store, she was seven years old. She saw a very large, very expensive stuffed dog and she just went berserk. She wanted that thing so badly and I got for her on the spot because I realized she had never asked me for anything in her life. Ever! This in contrast to my son, who wants everything all the time. Continue reading Astrology and Childhood: Scarcity vs Abundance - A Rich Man Born To A Poor Family

Six years ago…

“I wanted to ask you something,” I said.

“What? Shoot, Elsa. Shoot.”

“I want to write one of your stories.”

“My stories? Go ahead.”

“No, I need specific permission.”

“I just gave it to you.”

“No. I want to write something ultra personal. I’ve just been thinking about this non-stop and I think it’s something I should do. You know how your parents took your journals when you were a kid?”

“Yes, Elsa,” he said sounding solemn.

“They stole your writing. And your drawing. They took it from your room without your knowledge or consent.” Continue reading Ben In The Spotlight… His Un-Comfort Zone: Parenting Scorpio Children and Betrayal

I use Saturn Neptune techniques with my children all the time. I would! And themes run in families so it’s no surprise my daughter has Neptune in Capricorn (Saturn ruled) in mutual reception with her Saturn in Pisces (Neptune ruled). My son has a Saturn square Neptune, so basically we are a family of suggestible fairies and I’ll give you some examples of how that works.

I was flying home from Mexico with my daughter when she was about five or six. We hit some pretty serious turbulence and she became frightened. Actually, she is naturally very high strung, so she became extremely frightened.

“Give me you hand,” I said to ground her. “And look at me.”

She complied.

“I want you to imagine the airport back home. Can you see it?”

“Yes.” She was staring at me with Scorpio rising, Pluto conjunct intensity in pure terror..

“And when we get off this plane, what are we going to do? We’ll get our bags, right?”

“Right.”

“Can you see the baggage carousel? Can you see us leaving with our bags? Imagine (Neptune) it (reality, Saturn).

“I see it,” she said nervously.

“Okay, so do I. I see that too. So this is how we know this plane doesn’t crash. There will be no plane crash. Now if you couldn’t imagine that, then we may need to be worry, but we can see it clear as day, right? Can you see us leaving the airport?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, then. And we look fine in the vision, right? We’re not upset?”

“Nope. We’re just getting our bags on one of those carts…” she said, calming.

“Okay! Well that’s the reality. That’s exactly what’s going to happen so you may as well enjoy this turbulence as part of our adventure.”

At this point her fear (Saturn) had dissolved (Neptune) completely.

“It is kind of fun,” she said. “Bumpy.”

“Well I’m not surprised you like it. It’s actually a bonus adventure on the way home,” I told her 9th house Moon trine Jupiter in Sagittarius. “We travel and this is part of it.”

But she’d quit listening by then. Gemini Sun, she’d picked up a magazine and started to read.

Read more -> Parenting Redux

Dear Scorpio Moon,

I am going to be candid and say that I feel you need to resolve this before you marry. Because when a person wants kids… they pretty much want kids. And if the two of you can’t come together on this, well it’s a hell of a compromise to ask in either direction.

Outside of that, in a generic way, please read this old blog “Scorpio Mom” that I wrote for a gal with a new baby who was afraid she would mess up her kid. Because you seem to have some similar feelings. But your case is very different.

Where she has the baby, you are deeply ambivalent about ever winding up in her shoes. And your chart reflects this in many ways, but I want to just hit up the main thing here because it seems possible this could release you.

You mention your Scorpio Moon, but you fail to mention that your Moon (Mommy) is conjunct Uranus (freedom) which dramatically alters the situation. Uranus always wants a lot of space. It cannot suffer restriction, so maybe you can see how this is reflected in your post. If you have kids you’re going to be screwed, blued, tattooed. And to an extent, this is true. But this is the point I want to make:

If you decide to have children, you do not have to be a traditional “Mommy”, however you might define that. And this might be one of the things that has you stuck. Thinking erroneously there is a way “mommies” need to behave.

What I think mommies need to do is be authentic. And if you had children, you would need some time away from them… period. And I don’t think this is a negative thing at all.

I know I need time away from my kids and they know it too. Because I tell them! I communicate this. And I think they benefit. My daughter sees she can have children and still have a life and some independence. My son learns that just because a woman has children, this does not mean she is dead! How can that be bad?

Well it would be bad if I neglected my kids, but I don’t. I just make it plainly clear to them that I am an individual, same as them. And we all have personalities that need to be appreciated and accommodated.

So I just wanted to put this in your hopper. The idea that if you decide to be a mother (Moon), you can make your own rules (Uranus). You can innovate! And I don’t believe your children will suffer. They may say, “My mother was a freak”; but if you love them while you’re doing your own thing, when they say it they’ll be smiling.

Good luck.

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Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!

Astrologer, Lance Ferguson writes, The Astrology of Children

This is a perfect compendium for parents new to astrology. It’s not too much. Not too little.

Here’s a sample. Lance Ferguson writes:

“Sagittarius-Nov 22 to Dec 20

You’ve got a traveler and adventure-hound in your house if you have a Sagittarius child. Curious, optimistic, and ready to boogie, Sags come into this world with a yen to explore both the physical world and the world of philosophy and ideas…”

Be sure to read your kid’s Moon and Rising sign as well as their Sun sign for a more holistic picture. Here!

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pictured…my son, from a few years back.

Here’s a story about my double Aquarius friend, Kay. Actually, it’s about her mother who was a pure marvel.

Kay’s mother was a Scorpio. She lived out of state and I never had the opportunity to meet her, but I saw her fine hand all over the place. She shored up my friend in the most magical ways. She was awesome and I don’t use that word often.

For example, Kay had a lot of cool stuff at her house. She was a trash-picker, like so many Aquarians are. She had a Libra Moon, and a beautifully decorated house because of it. Stuff from dumpsters mixed with antiques, back when this was cutting edge.

Every once in awhile, I would see something really striking and ask where she got it. A trinket, a book, or some figure or a piece of fabric. Whatever. Invariably she would tell me her mother sent it, and there would always be a story.

The woman had a knack for finding objects so tailored to her daughter that it was jaw-dropping. Compare this to a mother who buys something she wishes her daughter liked. Or thinks she should like. Ugh. The things this woman sent her daughter were so uniquely her, a friend like me could spot it in an instant, and know it could never belong to anyone but her.

The stories varied. Once, regarding a doll…

“My mother bought that for me when I was eleven, but she waited fifteen years to give it to me…”

The thing would have been to China and back, and steeped in meaning, of course.

“My mother saw that, and it made her think of something I said four years ago, so she bought it!”

“Yeah?”

“She said it was good, but not good enough for me,” she smiled. “So she had to add some red to the hair, to make it right. So she did it! And now it’s just right!” she beamed. “It’s supposed to look like me and I think it does!” she said happily, with a huge smile. “My mother is so cool…”

She turned the doll to face me and the expression on its face was a dead ringer for one I’d seen cross Kay’s face a thousand times. I just shook my head. Kay and the doll had the same energy, and it was obvious this was a mother who loved and cherished her children as individuals. There were other daughters who were also provided with things just right.

So one day we were on a plane going to Las Vegas. Kay was a little nervous about air travel. I had never been in a plane with someone afraid to fly before, so I don’t think I was much help. Fear of flying was just not in my reality at the time, but in hindsight I can see she was really very frightened.

Ten minutes into the flight, her panic began to rise. She started talking kind of fast. It was almost like her stomach was going off. Excuse me, but it as if her panic was rising like vomit.

“Oh no. I’m kind of afraid. Darn it. I didn’t want to do this. I don’t want to be afraid. We’ll make it though,” she said.

I looked over at her like she was nuts. “Huh? Of course we’re going to make it,” I said.

“Well, this is pretty scary. This doesn’t scare you?”

“No,” I laughed. “Are you really scared?”

“Yes. No. I mean no. I’m not scared. My mother is here.”

“Huh?”

“She’s here. She’s holding up the plane, with her hands.”

“Huh?”

“I talked to her last night. She knows we’re flying today. She knows we’re flying, right now. My mother knows. She told me not to worry, because she would hold the plane up with her hands and guide it through the air. She’s also going to make sure that we land safely and as gently as possible.”

I’d never heard anything like this is my life. Kay looked like she might cry. And that would have been a first. But I was the one who cried. I was the one who bawled. She kept talking:

“I’m sure we won’t crash. My mother wouldn’t let this plane drop. No way is she going to do that. She said she would stay with us the whole way.” She turned to look at me, with a smile on. “So there. So how about I just relax and enjoy this ride? I’m just going to shut up and let my mother do her thing.”

She exhaled, and this is when I knew that she has the coolest mother on the planet. I always figured that anyway.

“Well, it is a smooth ride,” I said.

She punched me in the arm. “What do you expect? It’s my mother, doin’ it. She really loves me.”

I reclined my seat and felt her mother’s hands under the plane. It was nice. Real nice.

I didn’t have any children at the time, but I wanted them. And this is when I promised myself if I were ever fortunate enough to have them, I would always hold their planes up.

The End

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Have a question? Need advice? Ask here!