goddess write on How Much Of What You Do Is Subconsciously Driven

“I get feelings, and try to act on them. I don’t usually know where they come from, and even when I try to figure it out, it takes SO much more energy to try and logically explain them-and even then, I’m not sure if I’m coming up with an explanation or rationalization-it’s much easier to just listen to them and go on. And they’re always right, so why fight it?”

Continue reading Astrology, Neptune And Pluto: Acting On A Feeling vs A Primal Drive

Regarding my computer woes, I was talking to a friend of mine. I told her I felt the computer guys were condescending.

“Maybe it’s my age,” I said. “It’s as if I couldn’t possibly have any data on my computer that would be important to save.”

She said computer guys always treated her very well.

“Well that’s because you look hip,” I said. “I don’t look hip, I’m from the desert. You know that picture where I’m standing in my bare feet, middle of nowhere?”

“Yeah.”

“Well I still look like that. No matter where I go, I look just like that and I never belong anywhere. I’m like a thing that has landed and people have no idea…”

I have Neptune on the midheaven and without fail whoever people think I am, they’re mistaken. It is as if people don’t talk to me, but a hologram of me.

So what about you?

And what sign is on your midheaven? Is there a planet conjunct?

If you ever want to discredit someone…

Rhonda writes on the Liars In The Zodiac blog:

“Keeping secrets is a survival mechanism for the id.”

Interesting. I am only partly aware of why I keep so much from the soldier. If I told you my reasons they would be valid but they would also be surface like the tip of the iceberg. And I don’t think I am going to have time this lifetime to visit this at any depth but I can tell you this: The things I keep from him are strange and I keep them from him and only him.

Now this is a Venus Neptune thing - I conceal my tastes from him. I never pick a movie for example. We watch his movies only (80% war and 20% love stories). He would be happy to watch any movie I’d choose but I refuse to choose a movie for what it would reveal.

In contrast, my ex, the AMF and I would watch movies all the time. We’d see two or three a week at least and I would pick virtually every one of them. Go figure.

Continue reading Liars In The Zodiac Redux: What Type Things Do You Conceal Or Keep Secret And Why?

“You think I am afraid of you?” I asked the soldier.

“Yeah, sometimes I think you’re afraid to tell me things. I don’t know why since you can kick my ass.”

“Is that you telling me you are going to lie about me beating you leg wrestling? Are you going to lie about that?”

“Depends on who’s there, I guess.”

I laughed. ‘You have those skinny legs.”

“I know and I’m embarrassed of them. And your legs… well they are something else.”

“Well lie if you must, I was there. And there are things I am afraid to tell you.”

“I know.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“It’s just how you are.”

“Yeah. Yeah it is. I pretty much hide everything I can from you.”

“I know you do.”

“I’m glad you know and I glad it’s not a problem because I am bound to keep doing it.”

“I know, and no it’s not a problem. You just keep being, P.”

Is this lying by omission? How forthcoming are you?

Saturn in Virgo is kicking up my natal Saturn (reality) Neptune problems, big time. On the way home from the gym today, talking to the soldier…

“Well I am going to try, try, try. I just have to do this stuff. I have got to get some of these things done, people have no idea.” I rattled off some details. “I look around and see this stuff and I just want to cry. I have got to put some of this stuff together so we can function around here. My kids. There is just no other option and I can’t believe no one can see the trouble I am in.”

“Well they’re judging your persona by those videos.”

I laughed. “That doesn’t matter. I can tell people what is going on in plain language and I can do it 100 times and they still can’t see it. They just cannot see it and you have the same problem you know. People can’t see you either. They have no idea how hard our lives are… what we go through.”

“No they don’t.”

“Yeah, we have that in common. I think this is why we get along. It’s because most people could stand to live even one day of either of our lives and they don’t know it but we know it about it each other. We have compassion for each other. But anyway, this is what I am going to do. I’m going to do same as you do when you have an impossible day. You focus and do not let up. I am going to do that today. I am going to just go non-stop and see how much of this I can knock out because if I do not manage… well things are just going to fail around here, that is all there is to it. It just can’t get any worse and I have no choice but to knock things back, or else.”

“Okay, P. Well you sound like you have some momentum…”

“Yep… see ya.”

We talked about this once before… it was one of the most commented blogs of all time:
Astrology and the Midheaven - How Do People See You When You’re Out In The World?

Do you think people see you or do you live as a hologram the way I do… and the soldier does? What’s your Neptune / Pisces situation?

This is a Neptune bit on various levels. Movies are Neptune-ruled for starters and the other themes will emerge as I go (I think) In whatever case, Mercury (writing) is trine Neptune at the moment, so this seems a good topic. Jupiter is involved, so this calls for a story, I guess…

We wound up watching that old John Wayne movie, “The Green Berets” this weekend. I didn’t really want to watch it and either did the soldier but it wound up in our hands anyway. Continue reading The Soldier and P… and John Wayne’s Movie, “The Green Berets”

Valkyrie asked on Music, Neptune, Psychic Ability and Etheral Connection, regarding the bond via music between the solider and I:

“What accounts astrologically for a connection like this? Moon-Neptune?”

Valkyrie - I checked into this. Music is definitely a Neptune thing and we have a nearly exact sextile (same degree, within 3 minutes) between Neptune and Mercury in the composite so I would say it is way to communicate.

Neptune is also trine composite Sun, Mercury and the Black Moon Lilith so I’d say our relationship is supported and fed via Neptunian / ethereal things.

These same aspects can be blamed / credited for the fact we wound up separated when we were kids. We have no explanation for how this happened because we never broke up. We were just apart, both distraught, and then the tide came back 25 years later and we are left to puzzle and be in awe, I guess.

pictured - Lilith, Terracotta, Sumerian relief 1950 B.C.

I was telling the soldier a story, he was holding his antenna (psychic) which he does sometimes. He did not seem to be listening to me all that much. I ignored his inattention until it was just totally obvious he was elsewhere.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he said, red-faced.

“Liar. Why are you lying to me?” I asked.

“I’m not lying to you,” he said, lying.

“You are lying through your teeth. Don’t you know your whole face swirls around when you lie.” Continue reading Music, Neptune, Psychic Ability and Etheral Connection

“She’s going to be a nun,” the soldier said of one of the young women at his church. ‘She just doesn’t know it yet.”

“Yeah? A nun?”

“Yeah, she just hasn’t figured it out yet but she will. And there is nothing I can do. I’m not the one who can guide her with that. She’ll have to go through a process and I’m sure she’ll find someone who can help her but it’s not me. I don’t know anything about that. Women. I don’t know anything about being a nun, I just know she is one.”

“How do you know this?”

“Oh, it’s everything. The way she came in. The way she found the church. She doesn’t want to love a man. She has love, but she doesn’t want to just love a man. She wants to do this other thing with her love. Something bigger than just love one man. That’s just not for her.”

I smiled. “What am I going to be but don’t know it?”

“P, I have no idea. For one thing I am I love with you. But besides that you’re way too complicated to figure out. I can’t figure you out. I can’t even figure out how your hair got curly when it used to be straight.”

“I can’t figure that out either.”

“Well there you go.”

Do you ever look at someone and know what they are going to be? Where is your Neptune?