“Why is the soldier wearing a thong?”the soldier said, repeating something Vidroid said when he came across a jockstrap in the laundry.  “Is he wearing a thong? The smart ass.”

“You think he was being a smart ass?” I asked.  He seemed sincere at the time.

“Maybe. He’s a Panizzon, ain’t he?”

I snickered realizing that he was being a smart ass. It’s the family Mars Mercury - We just wanna jostle.

(Vidroid - Mercury conjunct Jupiter in Aries)

It was a great conversation I had with cf perez and we were talking about dialogue, or she was. cf is one of the people out there who can see me clearly. About her Sun in the twelfth, she said, ‘It’s not a great place to have your Sun, right there in the asshole of everything but if you get it working right it can light up some very dark places…” and she always manages to do this for me.

Continue reading Talk, Talk! Come On All You Tricksters - Mercury Types Weigh In

I have Mars conjunct Mercury in my chart and I am going to have violent thoughts…period. Mercury is also a trickster and with Mars involved, hotted up.

A friend of mine has been betrayed, yet again.

“I don’t feel so good,” she said.

“Well yeah. It’s a double stabbing,” I said. “Stabbed in the back not once, but twice.”

“I am going to do this and this,” she said. It was all very passive, covert stuff.

“Oh yeah? I think I’d be going in there with a chainsaw, if it were me,” I said with a snort.

She laughed slightly and explained why she wasn’t going to do that.

“Yeah, I know. Well you’re not me. And I wouldn’t do that anyway, but I would sure have the impulse.”

Later more of the story unfolded…

“Okay, never mind the chainsaw. I don’t think I would want to get that close to these people. How about we just firebomb them from afar?”

I snorted and she laughed.

“Or you could just kill yourself,” I said to be a distraction. She counts on me for this, it’s why she calls. Comic relief. “Point is, I would be doing whatever I had to do to get these people out of my life. I’m going crazy just hearing about them. Good thing I’m not a Pisces because that’s exactly what I’d do if the things that happen to you, happened to me. I would just have to escape. I’m sorry, that’s all. Sorry this happens to you and glad you have a way to cope because I don’t think I could. My skin crawls off my body just standing next to people that stupid. I think you’re a hero with your tolerance and transcendence. It’s mindboggling how you can do it and you can do it.”

“Yeah.”

If you find yourself in the midst of a hornet’s nest, how do you escape?

We were in the doctor’s office waiting for my daughter to have her EKG. She was sitting on the exam table, I was sitting in a chair. It had been awhile so deciding to relax, I kicked off my sandals, and propped my feet on the table. My daughter laughed and started rubbing them which she never does.

“Does the soldier rub your feet like this, Mom?”

“No, I rub his.”

“You do?” she said with her eyes wide.

“Yeah.”

“Ooooh. Are they blown up and scorched from the war?” she asked.

“What?”

“Are his feet blown up and scorched from the war, I asked you.”

I stared at her. “You’re too fast for me, honey. I don’t even know if you’re kidding but no. His feet are normal with no scorch marks or missing bits that I’ve noticed.”

“Okay, good. Whew!” she said with a devilish grin.

I am pretty sure she was jerking my chain but you never know.

The height of cleverness is to be able to conceal it.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The soldier and I on the phone. He was talking about something, I don’t remember what.

“Well, you’re the smart one,” I said.

“Right. And what’s that make you? The dumb one?” He laughed.

“Yep. I like you thinking that. I want you convinced,” I said. “That way I can disavow responsibility if something goes wrong. If anything bad happens, it can be your fault. Well gee. How did you let that happen? Smart as you are you should have seen that coming. How do you think you missed…”

“Who is it you think you’re talking to?” he asked, interrupting.

“Er… the smart one.”

“Well if they’re lucky they will learn some astrology,” I said, regarding the Special Forces types who lurk here. “Actually, they won’t be able to help but learn some astrology. So anyway, I have to be careful what I say if I want to preserve the puzzle,” I said. I can’t use your name(s) in any form for example, considering how you love to yell and announce your name to anyone and everyone all over the world.”

“Yeah, I do like to do that. I love to tell people my name and I did announce it all over the world.”

“I know. God, do I ever know. So I can’t say anything to do with your names. Not even a single initial. And I can’t say where you’re from, that’s for sure. But listen. What if I were to tell them you were the best soldier in the world? And point out this is quantifiable,” I said. Continue reading The Soldier and P - 40: The Best Soldier In The World - Uranus in the 7th House

Uh oh. Got my coffee date too. He was talking to me in the gym. I was on the crosstrainer and I can’t remember what he said but I answered him…

“I’m surprised.”

“You are? That’s the second time you said that to me. I guess you can’t figure me out,” he said smugly.

“Yes I can. I can figure you out. I have figured you out,” I said, smiling haughtily.

“But you just said you were surprised.”

“Well I was. I just figured you out right now. Right now this minute. Less than a minute ago, actually. That’s when I figured you out… er, just a few seconds ago, when you said that.”

He chuckled. “You’re quick. That was a quick one.”

I shook my head as if I had no idea what he was talking about. “I don’t know what you mean, quick.” I was grinning like the Cheshire Cat that I am. “Say!” I said, knowing he was leaving town for the weekend. “I sure hope your trip goes well! Fun time for you!” I said, beaming.

He just stared.

“Me? Well I’ll just be right here working out,” I said, panting slightly. “And knowing whatever I know if there is anything I know But hey! Have a great trip. Wonderful.”

He shook his head, amused. “I’ll see you later…”

I nodded and watched him leave the gym knowing he knew I was watching him leave the gym. I was smiling so wide it should be illegal.

Are you a Cheshire Cat, or do you know someone who is? Where is your Mercury?

I messed with Scott too. Scott is a high falutin’ pianist. I am of course, a dipshit.

We were hanging out one day… one of those days when you never get out of bed. And we were talking about everything and music came up.

Now granted, Scott is a total connoisseur. However, he is also a fool. The conversation went like this.

“Blah, blah, blah, Paganini,” he said

“Paga-who?” I said.

“Paganini,” He said.

“Paaag… Paaagg… what did you say?”

“Paganini,” he said with a smile spreading across his face. ‘What? You can’t say Paganini?” He launched into a robust speech about how great he was.

“Um… yeah well I think I can. Sure, I can say it. Um… Paga… parmesan?” I said with a hapless smile.

He roared. “I can’t believe it! What am I doing with a woman who can’t even say Paganini’s name? Who would believe this? No one!”

I shook my head. “Well, wait. Let me try again,” I said humbly.

“Well, yeah. Why don’t you. Paganini was a great musician and everyone should be able to say his name.”

“Oh. Well, okay. Paga… paga… paganoozi,” I said. “I mean, paga… what was it again?”

He eventually gave up. And yup. To this day he thinks I can’t pronounce Paganini.

In fact when I told him 15 years after the fact that I was just messing with him that day, he did not believe me.

Add your Mercury trickster stories in the comments…

The soldier woke up one day in our apartment. I was sitting on the bed. We were both teenagers. 17 and 19. He looks at the clock and he’s late.

“Els! It’s 6:07! What are you doing!” He was panicked. “Why didn’t you wake me up! Look at the time.”

“Oh. Well you looked so tired,” I said, all sweet and loving. “You looked too tired to wake up. I don’t think you should go to work today. You’re just too tired for that.”

“What! What are you talking about!?!” He was incredulous.

“Yeah, you’re tired. Hey! Why don’t you just call in sick? Why don’t you? You don’t look like you got enough sleep to me. I say, call ‘em and let’s just stay home and lay in bed all day so you can get some rest. The phone’s right there,” I said, brightly.

He was up out of bed getting dressed. He was flingin’ clothes. Something about “formation” or maybe a “bugle”. I was grinning.

“Are you kidding me? Are you out of your mind? Call who? The Military? Hello, Military? Is this you! I’m tired. I’m not coming in today!”

He stopped and turned to look at me. “Are you crazy? You don’t call in sick to the military! They’ll put your ass in jail!” he yelled, before turning back to frantically look for his second shoe. “Where’s my socks! Els, get me some socks!”

I put the socks in his hand.

“Jail? Oh come on. Don’t you think that sounds a little extreme? Call in sick one day and you go to jail? I find that hard to believe. So do you want some pancakes? I asked.

“Pancakes?” He was truly in shock.

“Yeah. If you’re going to work tired, you definitely better eat. But it would be even better if you just called in sick…”

“I can’t call in sick, Els! Bye! Love you,” he said as he ran out the door with one shoe in his hand.

I laughed my ass off.

He made it in with like a minute to spare. He had to put his shoe on at a stoplight on his motorcycle. And to this day, he thinks I was serious. Yeah. He’s gone around for 25 years telling this story about his idiot civilian girlfriend who told him to call in sick to the military.

Got a Mercury trickster story? Tell us!